Friday, October 29, 2010

chapter fifty-five;

 Shit, I'm sorry I haven't updated this in forever, I hope this subsides for now :)

You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time, but I never thought I'd live to see it break. It's getting dark, and it's all too quiet, and I can't trust anything now, and it's coming over you, like it's all a big mistake. I'm holding my breath, I won't lose you again. Something's made your eyes go cold. Come on, don't leave me like this, thought I had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted. Can't turn back now I'm haunted. I just know, you're not gone ... you can't be gone

About a couple weeks had flown by and I was working for the team. I had to admit, it wasn't easy seeing Brent almost everyday. It was hard. I felt haunted everytime our eyes would accidentally lock. But I had a job to do. I had to get over it. He was over it. It's done. Next chapter.

My friend Stephanie ended up getting into Columbia for college and we were lucky enough to get ourselves a condo downtown Chicago. It wasn't far from the Arena, or her school, and it wasn't far from Jonny either.

Ah, Jonny. About him.

Jon and I were taking things really slow this time. He knew I was hurt, and I didn't want him thinking I was jumping to him cause Brent left me again. He gave me space. I really needed time alone for once. Give myself some time to breathe properly. Focus on work and get myself back to normal.

Me? Normal? Like that will ever happen.

It was now the middle of March and the hawks we're on a roadtrip. We were heading to Anaheim, LA and Phoenix. This would be my first big challenge as a medic. I wasn't supposed to go on this trip, but one of the other medic's fell sick, so I was next in line.

During the game against Anaheim, there was a nasty play. Something I'd never wish on anyone. James Wiznewski committed about 5 different penalties on a hawk player. Charging, roughing, boarding, interference, unsportsmanlike conduct. I couldn't see who it was just yet. But when I heard someone yell to the bench, I felt like I was gunna be sick.

It was Brent.

I saw him lying lifelessly on the ice. My stomach fell deeper and I just wanted to pass out. I blinked back my tears as I watched the other medics go over and help him. They wouldn't let me go out there. I had to get held back by Sharp as I tried to get on the ice.

"Why, can't I go out there? WHY AREN'T YOU LETTING ME OUT THERE?"

"Ally, stop. They're the professionals."

"And what? I'm not?"

"Just calm down. He'll be okay."

"But what if he isn't?" I whispered.

"He will. They'll bring him back over to the bench, okay?"

I just nodded and went down the runway into the dressing room to get myself back together. The tears wouldn't stop falling. What if he had a concussion? Was he gunna be okay? Why was I so worried?

I wiped my face and walked back out onto the bench. He was sitting at the end getting looked at. I breathed a sigh of relief as I slowly walked over towards him.

"Hey." I lightly said touching his shoulder with the full knowledge that he didn't feel it under his pads. He turned around slowly and his eyes looked glossy.

"Hey," It was a short response, his guard was up, and I knew why.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

"I could use some aspirin or something."

I opened up my pouch and fished out two tablets and passed them to him. My fingers gently grazed the palm of his hand, and I felt sparks. I tried my best to ignore it and focus on the game.

"I think you should stay out for the rest of the game."

"I'm fine."

"Are you kidding me? You aren't fine."

"Stop pushing me around."

"Oh, that's nice. I don't want you fainting and falling again."

"Why do you care? You have Jon."

"No I don't. I'm single, I'll have you know. Plus it's my job to make sure everyone is healthy to play."


"You're gunna have to get used to seeing me around here."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Why are you being like this?!" I snapped.

"Cause you ran into the arms of your trophy boy the second you saw me with that girl."

"Oh, so now I'm in the wrong?"

"Would you shut up? I'm partly concussed here!"

"Says the boy that wants to go out there and play again."

"By the fucking way, that girl was a friend from highschool. I never told her about you cause it never came up. I didn't know she liked me like that until you came over and acted like you were some fucking musical."

"Am I supposed to believe you?"

"I don't know. Should you?"

This fight wasn't going anywhere. I cursed to the rafters. Is this how it was gunna be everytime we saw each other. Cause if it was. I want out. I want to go to another city. I can't live like this.

Monday, October 4, 2010

chapter fifty-four ;

Remember when, you were my boat, and I was your sea? But that was back when we could talk about anything. Cause I don't know, who I am when you're running circles in my head. I say your name, and in the same breath. I say something, that I'll grow to regret. So it's true what they say, if you love someone you should set them free. Cause I don't know who I am, when you're sleeping with her, and if it's true what they say, you went and threw it away. 

After the national anthem's were sung, we all sat down. My heart was in my stomach as the boys skated up and down like crazy. The game was even sided, both teams getting huge chances. Luongo and Miller stood tall.  Jonny was on a line with Mike Richards and Rick Nash. They've had great chemistry with each other. About 10 minutes into the game, Mike Richards was strong on the forecheck and created a juicy rebound, and Jonny picked it up and it beat Miller short side. The entire arena exploded as the horn went off and we all stood up and screamed. He promised he'd score a goal for me, and he did.

As he skated past the section of seats I was in, he tapped his stick on the glass and looked me right in the eyes. He mouthed "that was for you." before he went back to the bench. He made my heart skip about 100 beats in that split second.

My eyes stung with tears as I watched the American's celebrate their goal. Canada was up 2-1, and with 25 seconds left in the 3rd period, Zach Parise scored the goal to tie it all up. Throwing the game into overtime. For something that was so close that I could taste it, suddenly felt so far away.

I slid my phone out of my pocket and quickly texted Jonny. I doubt he would check his phone at time like his, but it would be worth a shot.

"It was so close, but you know what? It's gunna be closer as soon as you step out onto the ice in 20 minutes. I believe you guys can do this. Good luck Jonny."

"I have faith we can do it, just keep believe in us out there. The American's don't want to go away easily, we'll show them who's game they're playing."

They did it.

They won gold.

I watched all them huddle in one corner as they celebrated. Sidney scored the winner for us. How fitted was that? The best Canadian hockey player in the league who had huge expectations weighing on his shoulders, scored the winner. They all hugged each other and some stood in awe. I watched from my seat as tears were filling my eyes. I looked all around the arena, I wasn't the only one with tear filled eyes. This was something special. Something I'll never forget.

The boys got their medals one by one. I screamed at the top of my lungs when Duncan got his medal. "That's my brother!" I yelled as some people high-fived me. Then it came to Johnny getting his. I cheered really loud as the medal sat perfectly against his body.

After O'Canada was sung, fireworks began to fly inside of the arena. I watched them burst into millions of little stars. It was beautiful. In the middle of them going off, I looked down at the boys, only to see Brent looking at me. I threw him a nasty glare as I walked away from my seat and towards the gate to wait for Jonny.

I waited outside the arena with Andree and David for Jonny. We were still wondering it was a dream. We won gold. The streets of Vancouver were crazy right now.


I turned around and saw Jonny. He was in black dress pants, a blue dress shirt, a black Team Canada jacket while his bright gold medal hung over his neck. He dropped his bag and sticks as I ran towards him. I was about a foot from him when I sprung myself into his arms. He pulled me close as I wrapped my legs around his waist. My entire body wouldn't stop shaking.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

"No, I was hoping you'd be disappointed," he sarcastically replied.

I chuckled and gently kissed him as I unwrapped my legs from him and landed back on the pavement. He longingly looked into my eyes as I tried to find the words to say. He slid his hand onto the side of my neck and brushed my jawline with his thumb as we kept our eyes locked. Honestly, I don't think words were enough for once. Jonny didn't seem to mind either.

02.28.10 ♥

chapter fifty-three;

I guess you really did it this time, left yourself in your warpath. Lost your balance on a tightrope. Lost your mind tryin' to get it back. Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything? And everybody believed in you? It's all right, just wait and see, your string of lights is still bright to me, Who you are is not where you've been ... you're still an innocent

I woke up the morning of the big game for the boys. I felt hurt still, like I needed motivation to simply get out of bed. I came out of the bathroom after I showered, did my hair in loose waves, and slid mascara onto my tired eyes. I could still see my wedding dress sitting over the chair in my room. My heart would always drop when I looked at it. It was like kicking a dead horse, it's just no use.

I put on jeans and a black team Canada Hoodie, stuffed my feet into my gray uggs before I walked down into the kitchen. I poured myself a coffee and grabbed one of the muffins my mom made off the counter before I headed outside onto the deck. It wasn't cold outside. It was really sunny and it felt like fall, not the end of February.

I heard the porch door creak open and my mom came outside. I don't think she realized I was awake. I didn't look over at her as she sat down, I kept my eyes fixated on my phone.

"Your father told me what happened last night."

"Did he?"

"Yeah. He said you weren't in the greatest shape."

"Yeah well, it's what you wanted. I'm not marrying him."

"Stop trying to make me look the bad one here. I was only trying to protect you."

"Whatever. It's done. It's over now." I spat at her before I grabbed my phone and keys and headed towards my car.

I find my ticket as I waited to get into hockey canada place. I was so nervous. I can't imagine how Jonny felt right now. I finally walk into the arena and I'm just mesmerized by what I see. It was like a huge sea of red. The odd USA jersey here and there, but mostly Canadians. My heart begins to race as I see the boys step out onto the ice for warm up. My seat is 5 rows up from the ice. The boys are skating around, shooting pucks towards Luongo, and setting up passes for other players. I see Crosby, Niedermayer, Getzlaf, Perry, Iginla, Richards, Staal, Duncan, and Brent - feeling my breath jump into my throat when I saw him. Still no sign of Jonny.


I look around for the face to match the thick French Accent, and I see it's Jonnys mom, Andree. I warmly smile at her as I walk closer. Also saying hello to Jonny's brother, David.

"How are you?"

"I've been better. But I'm here for Jonny and my brother."

"I'm sorry. Jonathan told us what Brent did. He seemed like such a sweet boy."

"I know. He makes himself seem like he's innocent."


I hear Jon's voice. I knew it was his right away. He's standing on the ice, but he was leaning on the bench. I run over, and climb over the bars. Jonny yells at the security guard that I was with him so I could step onto the runway and over to the bench. I'm now at ice level with Team Canada, this was amazing. I see looks from people. I don't care. Jonny slides his glove off and intertwines our fingers together as our eyes meet.

"I didn't think you'd actually show up."

"Are you crazy? I came here for you and Duncan. No one else."


I see Duncan skate up behind Jonny. I gave him a good luck hug before he skated off again. I'm smiling like an idiot at this point. In the middle of my smile, I see Brent stare at me. I ignore it as I look back over at Jonny.

"Ally, I'm glad you're here. Can you do me a favour?"

"What's that?" I smile.

"Cheer for me so loud that I can hear you."

"Fine. Under a few conditions."

He smirks this time, "What?"

"Score a goal for me, play like it's the last game of your life, and kick some major American ass please, I am tired of hearing Kaner gloat about how we supposedly 'can stop his hustle'" I say with finger quotes.

He gently laughs as his cute smile appears, "I can totally do that for you. Anything else?"

"Kiss me."

He wrapped his hand around my neck and gently pressed his lips to mine. I feel a tingle in my body as his lips move with mine. I still needed him. A part of me always loved him.

I pull away cause I'm desperate for air. As I breathe deeply, Jonny tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear as he brushes my cheek.


It happened so fast. I see Brent skate over to the bench and shove Jonny to the ground. At this point, I'm screaming at Brent to get off Jonny as they wrestle on the ice, and I yell for Getzlaf to come pull Brent off Jonny.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"You fucking prick, you just waited for me to fuck up so you can get Ally again."

"Gee,  maybe if you didn't fuck up again, this wouldn't of happened."

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" I yell. "You fucking hurt me Brent. I'm completely done with you now. It's over. Leave Jonny alone. Just get the hell out of my life for good."

"But ..."


"What the hell's going on here?" Coach Bobcock said.

"People being immature." I replied.

"Seabrook, you're lucky if I play you in this game. You're already only getting 5 minutes of ice time, I'd hate to cut that in half."

"Fine. It won't happen again."

"Good. Now everyone back into the dressing room and stop acting like a bunch of immature fucks. Remember why we're here. We got a nation to play for. If that's not important, then get the hell off my ice. Do I make myself clear?" Coach yells before he heads into the dressing room.

I watched everyone walk back into the dressing room. I kept my eyes on my feet the whole time. As everyone left, I looked up at Jonny again.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop being sorry. It's not your fault. I'll take every punch he gives me if it's for you."

"Really?" I stuttered.

"Of course. I should go back."

"I know. Good luck Jonny."

"Thanks again for coming back."

"JUST GO!" I laughed pushing him towards the room.

I headed back to my seat with only one thing on my mind.


It will be ours tonight. Nothing was in our way. Nothing