Monday, December 6, 2010

chapter sixty-one;

Okay, not to confuse people with this new Character. He is not made up. He actually does play for the leafs. As most of you know, I've been a leaf fan my entire life, and I always will be. He's my favourite player on the team aside from Komisarek and Schenn. He's only in his first full season with the leafs, and he's a Jordan Staal like player to me. He's gunna be a beast in years to come. Here's a photo of him, so you can see what he looks like :)



"Brent, it's me ... look I'm sorry for our argument last night. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Please phone me, back. I'm so sorry. Bye ..."

I hung up my phone and slid it onto my kitchen counter. 10 times I've phoned him, 25 times I've texted him. He won't answer me. Maybe it's for the best, I'll give him space.

Suddenly, my phone rang and I grabbed it in lightning speed. My stomach sunk when I saw it was Tyler instead. I forgot we were going out tonight.

"Hello?"

"Oh, if this is a bad time ... I'll phone later."

"No." I sighed, "how did you know?"

"Your voice, it sounded disappointed."

"How did you figure that out."

"Duuno, I just did."

I smirked, he could read me, "Well, I'm fine. Are you on your way?"

"Yeah, Luke and his girlfriend are coming, as well as my roomie, Luca. I'll be there in a minute, literally."

I laughed gently, "Okay."

I hung up my phone and ran over to my mirror. I was dressed in a comfy pair of dark jeans, a navy blue and white striped v-neck t-shirt and a black cardigan over it. My hair was in a loose side-braid and my make up was minimal.  There was a light knock on my door and my heart jumped. My footsteps were heavy as I went and opened up the door. I was breathless.

Tyler stood on the other side of the door in a fitting pair of jeans and a navy blue hollister hoodie. His dark hair was a perfect mess and his deep brown eyes were glowing through me. I was captivated like a firework show. 

"I don't bite." He joked.

"OH!" I jumped as I moved away from the door and let him. "I'll be right back."

I walked back into my room shaking my head. Good going. I grabbed my tall black uggs and my purse before walking back into my living room, noticing Tyler was looking at some of my photos.

"Your friends are cute." He smirking, pointing to one of me and Steph from last summer.

"That's Steph, she's my best friend."

He nods as he points to a photo of me and Brent. It was taken after the game during the Olympic orienteering week in Alberta. We were on the ice, he still had his equipment on, and his arm was around me, and he was kissing the top of my head. I chewed on my bottom lip as Tyler stared at it.

"I didn't know you personally knew Seabrook."

"Yeah, well, you know Duncan Keith is my brother, and Brent's his best friend, so."

"No, I mean, it seems like you really knew him,"

I took another lingering look at the photo, "I thought I knew him."

Tyler mirrored my sad expression and followed me out of my apartment. He could tell it was bothering me, it was killing me actually. I forced myself to smile at him, he bought it as he lead me out to his car.

The city lights were shining and there was a glow off the pavement, it rained this afternoon and the addictive smell lingered in the air. Tyler opened up the door for me and I slipped into his car. He told me we were heading to an Italian restaurant down the road, I nodded and my stomach agreed. I was starving.

"Hey Ally!"

Luke Schenn pulled me into a hug and introduced me to his girlfriend. Her name was Kayla, and she was the same height as me and was blonde. She could've been a twin for Steph. Tyler introduced me to his friend Luca Caputi. He was very Italian looking, and I had to admit, he was pretty cute. We all sat in a booth and ordered a whole bunch of dishes and all had handfuls from each plate.

"So, Ally, didn't you work with the hawks before us?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, I did."

"Why would you rather work with us, over them? They're so much better than our team."

"Cause, my ex boyfriend worked for the Hawks, and it was awkward being around him. It's a really long story, besides, I was always a leaf fan growing up."

"Understandable. And Duncan's your brother right?"

"Yeah, he's the best brother I could ask for." I beamed, I had to admit, I missed my brother to death right now.

"She's friends with Seabrook too." Tyler chimed in.

"Oh?"

I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and nodded, "Yeah."

"It looks like they were pretty close, she has a lot of photo's of him in her living room."

"Ohh, seems like Ally may have a thing for him."

"I gotta go." I muttered walking away from the table as tears burned my eyes.

I opened up the door and the spring wind hit my face, whipping my hair from my face. I felt a few tears escape my eyes. I missed Brent with everything I had. I checked my phone again, nothing. This was all aggravating me.

"Ally."

I turned around and it was Tyler. "What?"

"What happened back there? Did, something I say bother you?"

"I can't lie to you Tyler."

"What?"

"I was engaged to Brent."

His facial expression dropped and his mouth was slightly open as he stared at me with so much concern. I looked away from his beautiful face to catch my breath and wipe my eyes.

"Wow. I'm so sorry. If I knew, I wouldn't have said anything."

"It's fine. It's over. I need to get forget it." I sighed.

"It doesn't seem like you're over it." He replied as he got closer and offered me his hand, "C'mon, I'll take you home, we can do this another time. The city won't run away on us."

I nodded and look his hand. It fit perfectly against mine as we walked back to his car. The ride home was a bit silent, but Tyler made a crack at how stupid Luke can be and it brought a smile to my face, and his. His smile was something else.

"Again, I'm sorry about tonight."

"Don't worry about it. You didn't know."

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow? Since we have to be at the airport tomorrow at 8."

"Yeah, I almost forgot." I replied, "You can come in if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I don't want to be alone. It hurts the most when I'm alone."

He lightly cupped the side of my face and nodded, "Okay."

I opened up the door and he went in first. I took off my shoes and sweater and headed into the kitchen. I made us hot chocolate as I heard Tyler turn on sportscentre. I smirked to myself. I loved watching sportscentre before bed, it's like he knew me.

"So how did Brent get so lucky?"

Tyler's question caught me off guard. I put my mug down and brought my knees up to my chest and shrugged.

"I don't know. I fell for him within a split second."

"Wow. I hate to ask, but what happened?"

"A lot of stuff. We've broken up ... oh god, 4 times now."

"Four?"

"Yeah, last summer, he got mad at me for making a mistake, we got back together around Christmas, and he proposed, and I said yes ... then I caught him with some girl during the Olympic break. Then last night ..."

"Did you two break up last night?"

"Yeah. At least I think we did. He said when I came up here for this job, that he wanted to give me space, so that meant he wanted to break up with me. Then last night, he caught me talking to my best friend about you and he blew it out of proportion."

"Talking about me, eh?"

I blushed, "yes we were."

"I hope it was good things."

"Yeah, it was."

"Oh cmon, let me know what you said, at least." He smiled.

"I may have said that you were kinda, sorta, possibly, really cute."

"Oh you do?"

"Shut up." I joked pushing him from me.

"Ally finds me cute!!!"

"TYLER!"

We ended up having a laughing fit over it. He was something else to me. I haven't smiled or laughed like this in forever. I felt alive for the first time in months. After another hour of watching TV, Tyler decided to go home and get ready for our flight tomorrow.

"Well, I had fun tonight. Again, sorry about Luke."

"Don't worry about it." I replied.

"Goodnight, Ally."

"Goodnight."

Tyler leaned down, but stopped himself. My breath got caught. He pressed his lips into my forehead gently and his lips lingered on my skin. He lightly touches the side of my face and glances into my eyes.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tyler, wait."

He turned around again and I met him halfway with a simple kiss on his lips. It caught him off guard as we pulled away. It was nothing huge, it was just one little kiss.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering something."

"Like?"

"Wondering if what I felt for you was in my mind."

"Is it?"

"I honestly have no idea."

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

chapter sixty;

"ALLY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

I look at my laptop screen to see an angry Steph looking back at me. We're on skype after my first game with the leafs where they won 4-2. Her blue eyes are glaring through the screen and her hair was in a bun on the top of her head. She rubs her face before talking to me again.

"WHAT?! We'll probably just go out for dinner or something! It's not like Tyler said it was a date. It's simply showing me around, plus some of the other guys are going."

"But, what if Tyler wants to get you alone?"

"I won't let him."

She snorts quite loudly, "Yeah, well what if he gets you drunk? You sure can't control yourself when you're drunk. I KNOW THESE THINGS, ALLY."

"Well, then ... I'll just make sure there is no drinking involved." I sighed, "Why does this matter anyways? I told you what Brent said."

"Yeah, but he's been sulking since you left. But he said he wanted what was best for you. He's terrified you'll meet someone, and you have."

"Ugh," I replied as I could feel the tears burning up, "I just don't know what to do. He means everything to me, but he just drives me fucking insane. You've seen how bad he used to treat me."

"I know. But he always somehow makes up for it."

"Yeah, but that's not enough this time. It's just not."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Try and be friends with Tyler, and see where it goes. I'm still young Steph, I should have my fun."

"You're right, Ally. You've been through enough. Just don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," I say as a smirk appears on my face, "Do you know what Tyler looks like?"

She smirked back, "No, show me a picture."

We both laugh quietly as I quickly head over to google and type in Tyler's name. He was pretty hot, there was no denying that. My god, and his smile ...

"HOLY SHIT!" Steph gasps as I email her a picture.

"I told you."

"So he's somewhat cute, just don't do anything dumb."

"Somewhat? Okay then."

"Fine, Ally. You win. Tyler Bozak is insanely good looking, and he obviously likes you, so you should go out with him, are ya happy now?"

"Who's Tyler?"

We both freeze. Steph looked like she saw someone die. I knew that voice better than my own. Before I knew it, Brent's tall shadow was standing behind Steph before his firework eyes peered into the screen. This can't be happening.

"Uhm, Hi." I said.

"Ally, who is Tyler."

"He plays for the leafs ..."

"And?"

"What?"

"Jesus christ, Ally. I heard your whole conversation with Steph. Do you like him or something?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"I don't know. I only met him last night. He just offered to show me around the city a bit."

"He's practically implying a date."

"He is not!"

"Steph, can you leave please."

"Uhm, it's my fucking computer to you fatass."

"STEPH SERIOUSLY! LEAVE" Brent snaps at her.

She rolls her eyes and leaves. At this point, my knees are up to my chest and I'm crying. I look into the screen and Brent is just staring at me. I didn't know what to say. It was him who said he wanted to give me space and let me be free. So why is he making such a big deal out of this?

"Ally, I don't get it. You're gone one day, and you've found someone else. Am I not good enough for you?"

"Brent, don't take this the wrong way."

"How can I not take this the wrong way? I've been in the worst depression since you've been gone. I finally realized what an asshole I've been and I took you for granted every chance I could. I would pull stupid shit and not feel bad about it because I knew you'd come back to me."

"Maybe part of that's my fault! Maybe after your little stint at the olympic development camp I should've walked away, but I couldn't."

"Ally, I loved you, I still do."

I'm choking on my own tears and I can't even look at the screen, "If you loved me, you wouldn't be freaking out like this. You're being awfully hypocritical of yourself right now."

"Oh, am I?"

"YES! What was all that 'ohhh, I'll give you something to believe in, and maybe finding someone better might be the best thing for you' - huh? What was all that?"

"The fucking truth! I just didn't expect you to actually find someone."

"You need to sort your shit out, Brent. When you do. Then you can talk to me."

"Whatever, just go off with your new guy who plays for the worst fucking team ever."

"So now you're dogging on his team? REAL FUCKING MATURE."

"When you're done being a bitch let me know."

"FUCK YOU BRENT SEABROOK."

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

chapter fifty-nine;

Toronto was beautiful. Way more beautiful then I could remember it was. I breathed in the spring air, even though it was pretty frosty out still.  I hailed a cab out to the hotel I would be staying in. It was right beside the Arena and had a gorgeous view of the lake.

As I got to my hotel room, I got a call from my new boss Ron saying that I had to go to the arena right now. So I put my coat back on and walked down to the arena.

"Ally, there you are."

I turn around and see a man in his early fifties standing in front of me. This must be Ron. We exchanged hello's before he told me that I needed to meet the team. I suddenly grew nervous.

They all stared at me.

I felt like I was 2 feet tall. All of them we're so much bigger than I pictured they would be. Ron explained that I was going to be the new female medic. Some of the guys appeared interested at the thought of it.

"Uhm, yeah, I got this cut I'd like you to look at." Luke Schenn joked. I rolled my eyes and looked over at Ron.

"Well, we have a game against the rangers tomorrow, so go get some rest. All of you."

"Don't you have a game tonight?" I asked.

"It just ended."

"OH!" I replied dumbfounded, "I didn't change the time on my phone yet."

I had to go back into the office with Ron to get some of my supplies I would need for working with the team tomorrow. Typical outfit I even had for working with the hawks - black yoga pants, long sleeve shirt, but this time it was navy blue with a maple leaf on the front of it. I got my medical pouch and my miniature license to keep on me at all times. I was starting to feel at home.

"Okay, goodnight, Ron."

"Goodnight Ally. See you here at 5, sharp."

I nodded and began to walk out of the office with my stuff in my hands. I couldn't remember where I walked in order to get back here. I just followed my gut and walked around this one corner.

Then it hit me.

Actually, someone hit me.

I fell to the floor in a heap. My face was burning up as I tried to get back up onto my feet. Then before I knew it, two big brown eyes were looking at me.  I froze at his baby face.

"I'm so sorry." He flustered as he passed me my phone.

"Don't worry about it." I assured him as I grabbed my stuff and stood up.

"You're Ally, aren't you?"

"Yeah, and you're ... Tyler Bozak aren't you?"

He flushed a bit before looking down at his shoes, "I'm surprised you knew that."

"Pfft. I've been a leaf fan my whole life, so, I knew when someone get's signed."

He smiles at me, making me realize how crooked his smile was, but for some reason, I found it beyond perfect. I was melting at the tips of my shaking fingers.

"This might sound forward, but, if you need someone to show you around the city, me and the guys are pretty familiar with the hot spots."

"No, I'd like that."

"You don't have a boyfriend or anything do you?"

I paused for a minute, thinking of Brent. His words before. Everything we've been through. What he said, about wanting me to free for this month. I shook my head, ignoring every thought I possibly had in that split second. Tyler sent me an eager look, waiting for my response. One little night out couldn't be that harmless, could it?

"No. Not at all."

Sunday, November 28, 2010

chapter fifty-eight;

A week after I found out the news I would be going to Toronto, I finally found out I was leaving today. Steph wasn't too happy about it, but our friend Gina was transferring down to Depaul and would be here at the end of the term. So at least I wasn't leaving Steph in the dark.

But was I ever happy to get out of here.

I got out of the shower and threw on a pair of jeans, a white tank top and a grey cardigan over it. I left my hair naturally wavy and my make up was hardly there. I wheeled out my suitcase into the living room and sat on the couch. Waiting for Brent to pick me up.

"Are you sure sure this is what you want?" Steph asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe. Steph, I might have a better chance with this team than I did with the hawks."

"You're right. You're doing this for you. It's probably worth it."

"I hope so."

After a while longer of waiting, Brent finally came to the door. He didn't look the least bit interested in what was going on. His sad expression grew worse the closer we got to the airport. I could feel my stomach dropping with every second that passed.

Everything was quiet. The car ride, our conversation wasn't there. I tried to grab his hand but he pulled away. I ignored his reflex and watched the Chicago skyline fade faster into the rear view mirror.

"You know, you're not exactly being supportive of me right now." I snapped as he parked the car.

"What are you talking about? I'm taking you to the airport, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you won't even talk to me."

"Sorry. I'm just a little annoyed."

I rolled my eyes, "Brent. It's for a month. Plus, you wouldn't have cared if you didn't apologize to me the other night."

"What makes you think that?"

"Cause you wouldn't have to deal with saying goodbye to me like this." I whispered.

He sighed deeply and gently grabbed my hand, "I'm sorry, okay? I just got you back and I'm losing you again. It's made me think a lot."

"About?"

"If you're gone for this month. Maybe we should wait till you're back before we get back together."

I deeply swallowed a lump in my throat and looked into his bright eyes, "I don't get it."

"I'm just saying, if you meet someone while you're there ..."

"Why, are you going to find some one night stand while I'm gone?"

"No. Goddammit Ally, why are you making this worse than I wanted it to be? I just wanted you to have some fucking peace while you're up there in case you meet someone you really like. Someone better than me."

"But you said you wanted to give me something to believe in. I believed your every word."

He sighed again, "Maybe me giving you something to believe in, is to believe there is someone out there that's better for you. I've treated you like nothing, you deserve better."

"But ..."

"Just, be quiet. It's not gunna change what I think."

"Fine. We're not together then." I replied as I rolled my eyes. I don't understand this guy. I just don't.

"Ally. I'm just trying to protect your feelings."

"Fine. Can you get my case for me? I'm gunna be late."

He smirked gently and nudged the side of my face, "Of course."

We walked up to the airport, and it was crazy. Thousands of faces blurred past me as I checked in. I could feel my heart twisting as soon as the girl took my suitcase. All I had left was my purse. It really was time to leave.

Actually leaving though, was hard. I stood in front of Brent, in denial that my flight was called for me to check into security.  The tears were building up inside of me and I tried not to let them fall. But I knew I had to go. I had to let him go.

"Ally, it's a month like you said. It won't be long."

But what he didn't know, it could be more than a month.

"I know. I'm just terrified."

"You'll do great up there."

"Thank you. I'll call you when I land."

"I'd love that." He smiles at me.

"Goodbye, Brent."

"Goodbye, Ally."

He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug. My breath is shaky but the tears won't fall. My eyes were almost dry. Maybe this wasn't gunna hurt as much as I thought.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

chapter fifty-seven;

The next morning, I packed up all my stuff and waited for Brent in the lobby. I was still confused as hell about what went on the night before. Did he really mean that? All this back and forth was enough to give me a concussion of my own.

I looked up from my seat and saw Brent walk around the corner. I swallowed a lump in my throat as I noticed he was just in jeans an a t-shirt - considering it was pretty warm in LA today.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let's go."

"How's your head?"

"Pounding, but I feel better, now." He smirked, which caused me to roll my eyes.

Our flight back to Chicago was shockingly good. We made small talk every now and then, but I think he knew I still needed some space to deal with this. One second we hated each other, now we're kissing in a hotel hallway? It was too much.

I was beyond tired when we landed in Chicago. I hardly got any sleep last night. Brent and I took a cab back up to my apartment complex. I wanted to spend time with Brent tonight just in case he passed out or something. He followed me up to my apartment. I dropped my bags into the hall and headed straight for the kitchen.

"Wow this place is nice."

"Thanks. Steph and I were so lucky to find it."

He nods as he sits down on the couch. I found myself looking through all the mail Steph left for me on the counter. I had a lot of crap, but one envelope caught me off guard. It had a small blue maple leaf in the corner. My heart began to pound as I realized it was from the Toronto Maple Leafs. I had applied to them as a medic a week ago after not being able to handle being around Brent. I ripped it open quickly and read it with shaking hands.

Dear, Alyssa Keith.

We have received your application and copy of your degree last week. We were very pleased with your work and internship with the Kelowna Rockets. Please keep in mind that this isn't an easy process but a job opening has come about as one of our assistant medic's has taken maternity leave as she is due in the next two months. We will discuss your future with the team when the time comes, but as for now, it would be great if you could respond to us as soon as possible. When you do, our company will be more than pleased to pay for your transportation up to Toronto and housing expenses for the rest of the season.

Regards, the Leafs medical organization.


I froze.

I got the job.

I couldn't believe it. I got a job working for my childhood team. Toronto seemed so close to me that I could taste it. But what about Brent? If he really cared about me, he'd understand.

"What's that?"

"Uhm, maybe you should sit down for this."

He looks at me with concern as we both went over to the couch. I was shaking so much right now. I nervously run my fingers through my hair as he grabs my vacant hand. I could feel the tears clogging up my throat.

"Well you know how we've been at each others throats since the Olympics?"

"Yeah."

"Well, one night, I was so mad that ..."

"That what? You can tell me babe."

"I applied for a job with the Leafs."

Silence hung in hair as he let go of my hand. Brent's facial expression dropped as he rubs the stubble on the side of his face. I wasn't sure how to react. I finally got him back, and I was leaving yet again. It's like I wasn't supposed to be with him, ever.

"Ally, are you kidding me? Why did you do that?"

"Cause I was upset and I wanted to get away from here."

"But, we're going to the playoffs soon. I want you to be there."

"Brent, you don't want me. You just think you do."

"You're not going!" He snapped.

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Ally, I'm sorry for everything that's happened before. But this is going to be a huge playoff run for us. The team needs all the medical help in the world."

"But this could boost my career too. Stop being so selfish."

"Oh, so you going off to Toronto isn't selfish?"

"No! It's only for a month anyway."

He suddenly grows interested, "What?"

"I'd only be filling in for a girl who had to leave. Plus Toronto's dead last in the league so they're season will be done next month."

He breathes a sigh of relief and hugs me. "Thank god. I didn't want you gone long."

I just nodded as the acid turned in my stomach. I'm not telling him that I had a chance to stay with the leafs next season too. He didn't need that. I didn't need that either.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

chapter fifty-six;

After the game, Brent had to get looked at again. Of course, I was given this job. I swallowed my pride and did what I had to do. He followed my finger with his eyes, and he did the same with a small flashlight. His eyes squinted and he put his head down.

"Ugh."

"What?"

"The spinning won't stop."

"Well, that's a good sign that you're actually showing symptoms." I replied as I passed him two more painkillers and a bottle of water.

"So what do I do now?"

"Fly back to Chicago, get checked on."

"I'm not leaving the team." He huffed.

"Sorry, but I'm a doctor and this is an order for you. You can't say no."

He smugly smirked before looking up at me, "You're not a doctor, you're a medic."

"Well, I'm the one with the medical diploma, and whatever I recommend, you have to agree to cause it's for your health."

"You just don't want me on this trip so you don't have to deal with me."

I threw my hands up in anger and turned away from him for a second. He was pissing me off. That was obvious. Sure, I didn't want him on the trip. But, I wasn't gunna send him back to Chicago for that one little reason. I mean, he was concussed. Of course I was doing what was best for him, I cared about him. I'll always care about him. Plus if he didn't get looked at properly, I'd have a lot of angry fans after me.

"Fine. I'll go get Mike and see what he has to say."

"Fine." Brent spat at me.

I just rolled my eyes in disgust and walked out into the hall. I found Mike, he was with Jonny. After they were done talking, I got the full load from Mike. He gave me a shit for coming to him to ask something like this. He said I should've done what my first intention was.

"I'm sorry but Brent is being so stubborn right now."

"Well, he's concussed. You'll fly back with him to Chicago and get him checked out."

"Uh. Me?"

"Someone has to fly back with him."

"Why me?"

"Ally ... it's your job dammit. I'm not running a fucking kindergarten class here."

I sighed, "Fine."

Well, that's just great.

I walked back into the dressing room to see Brent still sitting on the exam table. He didn't have a shirt on and his arms were crossed. I had to swallow the lump in my throat as his hair fell in front of his face. He finally noticed I was in the doorway. I shook away my thoughts and walked up to him.

"I talked to Mike, and he wants you to go back to Chicago tomorrow morning." I sighed, "by the way, you got me in trouble for asking that question. I hope you're happy."

"I didn't want to get you in trouble."

"Whatever. Pack your stuff. We're going home tomorrow."

His eyes widened as he looked at me, "We?"

"Medic watch. I'll make sure I don't sit near you on the plane."

"Well, that's great." He sarcastically replied.

"I hate it just as much as you."

Later the night after everything was all cleaned up, we took a bus up to LA for the kings game that was tomorrow night. It was 2am and I was tired. I just wanted to sleep. I slowly walked up to the elevator and saw Brent standing there, waiting for the elevator.

"Oh. You again."

"Just don't talk to me." I snapped.

I hit the button for the 7th floor and he hits the 9th floor. I place my head on the mirror as it starts to go up, but then a huge jerk jolted the elevator and it got stuck.

You have got to be kidding me.

Brent pulls out his phone and mumbles something about having no service. I check my phone, just my luck, neither do I.

"Fuck."

I sat down on the floor of the elevator and Brent did the same. We were both on other sides. I kept my knees close to my chest and fiddled with my nails as I prayed for a miracle. This was beyond awkward.

"Ally ..."

"What?"

"I talked to Duncan after the 3rd period."

"Congrats, so did I."

"He said you were crying after I got hit."

I froze and dropped my hands to my sides, "Fine. So maybe I was."

"Ally ... do you care about me still?"

"Do you want to me stroke your ego or something?"

"I'm asking an honest question, I'll answer you back."

"Of course I do. I care about you as a person and your well being. I've just been all over the place with my emotions right now, it doesn't mean what you think it means."

"Well, I still care about you, a lot."

"That's nice."

"Ally ..."

"Stop saying my name, please. It's bringing back too much."

"Sorry." I roll my eyes, but his voice makes me freeze yet again, "Ally, if you think I'm gunna hurt you the way I did before, you're wrong. I realize the huge mistake I made. I just want you to be mine forever."

"It's too late for that, and that girl ..."

" ... was a friend from highschool. She got the wrong impression when I asked her out. You can ask my brother, he's known her just as long as I have."

I wasn't sure what I wanted to believe right now. I just wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to lay against his chest, and feel the beat of his heart jumping through his shirt as I closed my eyes. But I knew that couldn't happen. I couldn't be with him again. I'll just be all over the place again.

"How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Because it's the truth."

"Brent, I can't go through that again ..."

"Oh right, you have Jonny."

"I don't. Jon and I agreed it wasn't gunna work with everything that's happened."

"Well then please give me another shot."

I scoffed as his suggestion,  "I can't."

"Ally, I want to give you something real, something you can believe in. Something I never gave you before. I love you."

I could feel tears filling my eyes as I looked at him, "So what am I supposed to do? Fall into your lap, take the ring back and everything is back to normal?"

"No, I wouldn't expect you to do that. I just want just to be on friendship terms for now, and if you don't want to give me another shot. I swear I'll leave you alone."

I was over analyzing everything in my head. Maybe we just needed clean slate. Forget the past. I still loved him with everything I had, but, maybe being friends and possibly making it something more will be a good start.

"I'd like that."

As I say that, the elevator starts moving again. Brent's eyes are shining like diamonds as we make eye contact. A small smile is placed on his face and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. We both got up off the floor at the same time as the elevator got off at my floor.

"I'll phone you tomorrow about our flight. We probably won't be able to get anything until the afternoon."

"Alright, just let me know. Ally, I meant what I said."

"So did I."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I turned my face towards him yet again and I'm met with his electric eyes. His hands find my waist and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. It suddenly flooded my mind with all the good things we used to have. I clasp onto his arms as I want more out of the kiss. I realize what I'm doing as I run my hands through his hair and my body is screaming for air.

"Oh my god."

Brent heavily breathes and I can feel it on my neck as he pushes my hair from my face. My breath is beyond shaky as I watch him touch the side of my face.

"I bet Jonny can't do that." He whispered into my ear.

"No. Not at all." I whimpered.

For another moment, he pulls me into his chest. At this point, he's running his hands through my hair and I can feel an outpour of tears wanting to fall. But I kept them in. I silently hear him whisper something into my ear, making me realize it was our song from last summer.

"The words came out, I kissed your mouth, no 4th of july as never burned so brightly, you had to go, I understand, but you promised you'd be back again. So I'll wonder around this town, until summer comes around."

Brent leans over and gently kisses my forehead, "Goodnight Ally."

"Goodnight."

I looked up into his eyes and couldn't hold back my smile. I finally let go of him and walked into my room. My head pulled in 5000 different directions. What just happened?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

hey guys!

I just wanted to ask you guys a hugeeeeeeee favour! I started a new story. Something different and I was hoping - since you've been positive with this story - that you could follow my new one. This doesn't mean I'm not writing this one anymore, cause my new one isn't blackhawk related, but I hope that doesn't mean you won't read it. It would mean a lot to me, cause I'm actually excited for this one. Thank you!

http://truenorthlove42.blogspot.com/