Tuesday, July 27, 2010

chapter fourty-one ;

And I wish that I could find a key to unlock all the things that you want us to be. Let me open up and start again, but there’s a safe around my heart. I don’t know how to let you in, and that’s what keeps us apart, and that’s why I need time. I said I need you to understand.

The boys were out of town for a game against St. Louis so I decided to stay back and clean up Brent's place. It's not like it was dirty, but, it needed to be done. Plus it gave me some alone time. I needed it.

Jon ended up being okay. He was discharged from the hospital later that night, Brent wasn't drugged, he just caught a fever from - err - kissing Jon. Who decided to not tell us he was sick. That was typical of him, Mr. I won't tell anyone anything cause I'm a stubborn pain in the ass.

I ordered myself some Chinese food while I waited for the game to start. I was exhausted. I cleaned his apartment top to bottom. If I knew any better, I would've put it up for auction for a goddamn museum.

The buzzer went for the door and I rang the person up, seconds later there was a furious knock on the door. As I swung it open, I saw Taylor on the other side. She had no colour to her face, and she looked lifeless.

"Taylor, what's going on?"

"I'm ... Pregnant."

My mouth dropped, "What?"

"I just found out this morning."

Before I could respond the buzzer went again. I rang up the delivery boy, paid him and took my bag into the kitchen. Taylor sat on the couch staring at her engagement ring.

"Taylor, I don't think Duncan is gunna be mad. He loves you. You've been together for 7 years." I tried to lighten her spirits. It wasn't working. I sighed and dug into my food.

"It's just too soon. I got a promotion at work last week, now I'm gunna have to give it up in 9 months."

"I think your health and your baby is more important than work. Plus, it's not a burden to have a baby. They'll understand."

A smile peered on her lips, "I'm kinda happy in a sense though. I've always wanted a baby with Dunc, I just didn't expect it this soon."

"Well, I think you'll be great parents. I'm sure Duncs will be happy."

I finished up my dinner and we watched the game. Cheering our boys on while probably pissing the neighbors off. The boys won by a landslide of 6-2, pushing them into 2nd in the western conference. After the game I headed to bed, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

"Hey baby."

I stirred in my sleep, slitting one eye open. It was Brent. He was in his game day suit as I saw his suitcase beside him. The clock read 3:45am. They must've left right after the game.

"Hey." I croaked.

I closed my heavy eyelids as Brent got settled into bed. His arm found its normal spot around my waist as I snuggled against his bare chest. Falling asleep to the steady beat of his heart.

The next morning I was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast as Brent trudged towards the coffee pot. My mind was racing since last night. I couldn't figure out why. It was keeping me quiet.

"Brent, can I tell you something? That you can't tell my brother?"

"Sure, babe, what is it?"

"Taylor's pregnant." I confessed as I looked right into his widened eyes.

"Wow, that's ... wow."

"I know. My exact response." I miserly responded pushing my plate from me.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. It just seems like everyone is moving forward. Patrick and Abby are getting married in July, so is Hoss, Dunc's engaged with a baby on the way. I just can't help but feel jealous."

He sighed and pushed my hair away from my neck, "Ally. We just got engaged. You're 22, I'm 24. We need to take this slow. We need to make it right."

"Yeah, but, I kinda want a baby."

"Ally, no way. That's just a big no-no. That is not in the cards for us right now."

I huffed, "But what if it happens accidentally?"

"Why would it? We're careful." I just shrugged and didn't look over at him, "You better not pull any shit with your birth control to make it happen. I swear to god I'll put off this engagment if you do that."

I froze, he was being cold right now, "Okay fine, we won't have kids for a long time then."

"Good. Don't scare me with that shit. I don't want to hear one word about this for another year or two." He replied before he headed back into the room to get ready for practice.

I smacked myself in the head. Why did I want a baby all of a sudden? Why did I want to get married all of a sudden? Why was I being such a selfish spoiled little snob?

Oh right, I wanted everything everyone else had.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

chapter fourty ;

Let's go all the way tonight - no regrets, just love. We can dance, until we die. You and I, will be young forever. You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream with the way you turn me on. I can't sleep. Let's run away and don't ever look back.

I woke up the next morning to hear some uncomfortable grunts coming from the kitchen. I roll over, Brent's pillow is cold. He's up. I check my phone, it's 11:30am. I think that's the latest I've slept since I was my summer after highschool.

"Where the fuck is the aspirin?"

I look into the kitchen and see Brent leaning on the kitchen island with his head in his hands. He's shifting his weight from one leg to the other more frequently then one person should. Unrealistic cuss words are flying out of his mouth. He could've made a mime scream.

"I left them beside your table, baby I'm sorry, I'll go get them."

"How the fuck didn't I see that? Christ I'm retarded."

I grab the aspirin for him as he takes two and washes them down with water. He looks like a beaten puppy right now. I chuckle and gently pull him into a hug. His body feels lifeless as he attempts to wrap his arms around my neck. His head hits my shoulder, causing me to jump. His skin is burning. He gives me a confused look as I cup his face with my hands.

"Why are you so hot?"

He laughed, "You tell me."

"No, you're really warm. Are you okay?" I replied with a hint of worry in my voice as I headed into the bathroom to fetch a thermometer.

"I'm hungover, Ally. It's nothing to worry about."

"I don't think it is!" I spat out as my hands were vibrating as I placed the thermometer under his tongue.

He rolled his eyes as it beeped. 102. How in the hell did he not feel it?

"Brent .. I think you were drugged too."

"I doubt it."

I cursed under my breath and tossed the thermometer on the table. "Do you have ANY idea what you got up to last night?"

"No, do you?"

"Obviously. You made out with ..."

He cut in, "Shit, another girl?"

"No, someone a little more close to home."

He shook his head, "No way ..."

"Yup, you and Jonny were all over each other like two drunk emo kids at warped tour."

"Ew. That's just so many kinds of wrong." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I'm going back to bed, I can't even stand right."

"Brent, you might've been drugged. You're going with me to the hospital. Kris texted me and said Jon was awake."

He nods and hits the shower. I just throw on some jeans and Florida Gators hoodie before putting my hair into a ponytail and stuffing my feet into my uggs. We get to the hospital and I make a beeline for Jon's room. I feel relived as he looks over and smiles at me.

"Jon, thank god you're okay." I smile before I kiss his forehead.

"Yeah, I feel okay. I'm just confused about what happened."

"No one knows. Probably some idiot who doesn't like you guys." I reply. "I think Brent got drugged too, but it didn't affect him."

"Oh Brent. It's gunna so awkward at practice tomorrow." He half smiled.

"You can say that again." I mumbled.

It grew quiet and I began to pick at my nailpolish. I looked over at him and he was staring right at me. My heart jumped into my throat, god the room suddenly felt like a thousand degrees.

"Ally, are you happy?"

"Of course I am. Why?"

"You don't look it."

"It's just, Brent doesn't listen to me enough. I know I'm not his mom, but when I say some things he shrugs it off like he doesn't care. He doesn't believe me that his 102 fever is a side effect of the drug he took. He thinks I'm crazy. Also, my parents think I'm still dating you so I obviously have to hide this engagement from them. I'm so royally fucked for life."

His eyes grew wide, I don't think he was expecting me to say something like that. "Well, you can just tell them that we remained friends instead, for the better. They'll understand that. As for Brent? You're on your own there. I don't know how they feel about him."

"They love him, not what he did mind you." I sighed before a lightbulb went off in my head. "Maybe after the Olympics I'll tell them Brent and I are giving it another shot, but won't mention the engagement. I just hate lying to them."

"It's for the better though. You've been through enough drama to make a show for MTV. If my daughter did that, I wouldn't be mad."

I nodded as I let out a huge breath, biting back a smile, "You always know what to say."

"Comes with the charm." He smirks.

I laugh and gently push his hand away from me. We both heard heavy footsteps and turned around to see Brent leaning against the door.

"Do you mind hanging around for a bit, Ally?"

"Not entirely, why?"

"Cause, I took your advice and the doctor just made me take a piss test."

"Such a gentlemen with your words." I said loud enough for only Jon to hear.

"I'll know if I'm drugged or not in like 2 hours."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

For the next hour Jon and I watched two episodes of Friends we've both seen before. We recited the one with Ross and Joey's nap line for line. Making comments that Jon laughs like Ross and I laugh like Monica.

"You and Brent are so Joey and Ross right now." I commented before I took a sip of my water.

"You and Brent are so Ross and Rachel."

"I'm well aware of that. But, I promised myself I'm not losing him again. I can't give up without a fight. He's really important to me."

"I'm sure you guys are for real this time. I mean I see the way he looks at you. Like he'd just ... jump in front of you at any given moment there's a slight sign of harm. It's crazy. I've never seen him like this."

I could feel my heart pounding when he said that. I mean, if he can see it, then I honestly believe that what Brent and I have is real. It's not some stupid teenage love that's gunna go away after a few months. We had so much history. It's just something you can't let go easily. Hell, I can't let go of him easily anyways.

"Plus, I know how you feel about him. Your entire body freezes when he walks into the room, like your heart stopped for that one second. When he moves, you shift your body closer to his. It's kinda like you guys are magnetic. Like you're supposed to be together."

"I wonder how many roofies that person put in your drink. You're talking crazy right now, Jon."

"I'm flushed of the drug now. I'm serious. All of us can't get over how much he's changed since you came back around, Ally. He's smiling more, joking around with us more. I can see the spark in his eyes when he plays, knowing you're watching. Even those months you two weren't together, he used to come up to me and say 'I'll do whatever it takes to score a goal tonight, cause I want her to notice me again.' He's crazy for you Ally. I can see why he proposed so quickly."

I sniffed back the tears that were forming in my eyes. Jon may be talking a boatload of nonsense right now, but it was making sense to me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Brent standing here. I stared in awe. He was leaning against the wall, with a coffee in hand, talking to my brother. He caught my eye and smiled at me. His smile was intoxicating. I felt like a child with a new toy. The smile couldn't go away, that blush on my cheeks wouldn't go away, that heart racing wouldn't go away.

"See what I mean."

My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch, now baby I believe this is real so take a chance and don't ever look back. My missing puzzle piece.

Friday, July 23, 2010

chapter thirty-nine ;

Close your eyes, and I will be swimming, lullaby's fill your room, and I will be singing, singing to only you. Don't forget I'll hold your head, watch the night sky fading red. But as you sleep, and no one is listening, I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking. Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you, soon I'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me.

"OH MY GOD, THIS IS LIKE THAT SCENE IN THE HANGOVER! GET A MAP AND FUCK OFF!"

Brent is being obnoxious as we head into the hospital. I'm shaking cause I'm worried about Jon, and then I'm pissed off and want to punch my own fiancee in the face.

Glass case of emotion.

"Brent, just sit down, and shut up. Duncan is bringing you a very, very large coffee."

"I know something else that's very large." He chuckles.

"I'm sure you do."

"Why are we here again?"

"Cause Jon's been drugged."

"WHAT?! NO! MY BOYFRIEND CAN NOT BE DRUGGED! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!"

"Your boyfriend?"

He huffs, "Jon and I are in love. Deal with it."

"Yet you're engaged to me?"

"Well, you're sexy. Look at dem legs."

"Sweet fuck." I groaned walking away from him.

I see the doctors swarming Jon, his skin is paler than usual. His eyes are shut. My hand cupped my mouth as I began to sob hysterically.

"Ally? Are you okay?"

I look over my shoulder and see Kris standing there. I shrugged as I looked back into the window. Jon was now lying there, alone. Kris rubbed my shoulders as a few more tears hit my face. I sniffed them back as I leaned on his shoulder.

"He'll be okay. Just a stomach pump, 12 hour sleep, and an IV should do it."

"How do you know that?"

"Ally, I'm a hockey player. Shit happens."

"Lovely."

"OH MY GOD, YOU CAN'T JOIN THE MONTREAL CANADIENS IT'S SOCIAL SUICIDE!"

We both look over at Brent. He's sitting in front of the TV. ESPN was on, and there was a rumour about J.S Giguere getting traded to them. I just shook my head.

"Ally, go home. Jon should be asleep for a while now. Take your drunk gay fiancee with you."

"That should never be spoken of, again."

"No promises."

I walk over and Brent's still glued to the TV. It looks like his eyes are going to bulge out of his head. I snap my fingers and he glances at me.

"We're going home."

"YES!!! Do I get a cookie?"

"You might if you keep quiet."

"Good, cause Dunc brought me a coffee, but no cookie. I hope he gets kicked in the face for that. Douchefuck."

I drag him out to the car, and put on his seatbelt for him. He tortures me by blasting the Jonas Brothers. Don't get me wrong, I love the Jo Bro's ... but at 4am? Not, bloody likely.

"I'M HOT, YOU'RE COLD, YOU GO AROUND LIKE YOU KNOWWWWWW, WHO I AM, BUT YOU DON'T. YOU GOT ME ON MY TOESSS!" Brent horribly sings back with Joe Jonas' soothing voice. Making me hold back my laugh. "Haha, Toes, like Jon's last name."

"It's pronounced Toews."

"Who the fuck said you could talk?"

"Do you want to see your 25th birthday?"

"It'd be nice."

"Then shut up."

"Meow. Hey, can I ask you something?"

I groan, "I guess?"

"Can I pounce you?"

"Pounce?"

"Yeah! When we get home? I've always wanted to ... have sexual relations in the kitchen."

I laugh, "Nah, you can have a cold shower and go to bed."

"You're not fun."

"You're not sober."

"Pfffffffffft. I am so sober."

I don't say anything back to him. It was like dealing with a 3 year old. He continues put the music back on and sing. It makes me wonder how the hell he even knew all the words to the fucken Jonas Brothers.

As we got upstairs I helped Brent get out of his jeans and shirt. Leaving him in his boxers. He continues to take it the wrong way.

"That dress would look better on the floor."

"You'd look better if you just went to sleep."

He pouts and climbs into bed, "Fine."

I laugh as I brush his hair away from his face, "I love you."

"I love ... cake."

I slip off my dress and put on a tank top and shorts. I crawled onto the bed, over Brent, and pressed my lips to his. He was resistant at first but then kissed back.

"Goodnight Brent."

"Goodnight ... I better get my cookie tomorrow."

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

chapter thirty-eight ;

Can I wish you away?
Till you find your place in this world it’s so hard to get a feel?
And all you do is wait
But then one little taste;

So caught up it’s hard to know what’s real
until you’ve had all you can take


My nerves were on edge as I sat on the fictional leather table, waiting for the doctor to come in. Today was the day that I got my cast off. My fingers tapped rapidly on the side of the table as he walked in. He greeted me with a warm smile before he took me back into the room to get the cast removed.

It was like I lost half of my body fat. I ran my hand over my leg, it felt smooth. I was eager to get up and walk. The doctor applied cream to my leg and announced I could put my sweatpants back on. I was giddy as he left the room.

The winter wind stung my face as I left the hospital. I saw Brent leaning against his Tahoe. I smirked, he looked beautiful. Actually, he was more beautiful now since we found out this morning he made Team Canada for the Olympics. He turned around and saw me standing there. I felt like I could've flown to him. But, I did the next best thing. I ran over to him and jumped into his arms.

"You can walk again!"

"I could walk before, mister!" I replied wrapping my legs around his legs. I haven't done that since, well, the summer.

"So does that mean we can ..."

"You would say that." I sarcastically replied rolling my eyes.

"Hey, it's not often your fiancee makes Team Canada."

"I guess we could ..."

"Goodie!"

He drove home in record time and I couldn't hardly get my coat off before he had me pressed against the wall. I kicked off my boots and he did the same as we ran into his room. The heat of his lips moving with mine was radiating off my skin.

"Show me what you're made of, Mr. Team Canada." I whispered before he kissed me again.

I held his shoulders and shoved him on the bed, and straddling his lap. His electric eyes beamed against the lighting as I glanced down at him. I grabbed a fistful of his hair as he forcefully kissed me yet again. Ah, bliss.

"Ally are you ready?"

I ran my hands down my outfit. A blue sequin dress that was pretty high above my knee. My hair was straight as it could get and my eyes were chalked with dark eye shadow. I grabbed my silver clutch and heels and headed downstairs.

It was new years eve and we were heading to a club to celebrate of course. As we made it in the club, the bright lights bounced off the walls, the music thundered through my chest, it was intoxicating. We found Tazer, Kaner, Sharpie, and Steeger sitting in a booth and we joined them.

"Ally, can ... can I just say something?" I groaned, Sharpie was already hammered.

"What?"

"You look, very, very fuckable."

"Oh god ..." I swallowed.

"Yeah dude, that cast was such a turn off." Steeger added.

"Uh guys, I'm engaged?" I replied flashing my ring.

They all groaned deeply, and I laughed as Brent brought me over a martini to drink. I took my time drinking it cause I didn't want to get to hammered tonight. I don't think I needed another drama filled night.

After a few drinks, I needed to use the bathroom. As I headed back over to the booth. Only Kaner was sitting there. My eyes were shifting as I tried to find Brent.

"Where is he?"

Kaner took a shot before he answered me, "I don't know, but he's fucking trashed dude."

"Well ... that's just GREAT!" I huffed sitting down.

Kaner dumbly smiled at me, "It's new years, live a little."

"You're drunk."

"You're sexy."

Suddenly Sharpie ran over to us and was trying to hold back his laugh, "Oh Ally, you're not gunna believe this."

"...what?"

"Jon is fucking wasted, like out of his mind. Him and Seabs are dancing together!"

"Are you serious?"

I got up and headed into the crowd. The music was pounding worse in my head as I fished through the crowd. Then I saw them. Sure enough, Sharpie was not lying. My mouth was lying open. I didn't know if I felt cheated or if I wanted to laugh.

Jon has hands gripping into Brent's sides and they were just dancing to the beat. Some hysterical laugh came out of me. It was quite the sight. Kaner came up behind me and asked me to dance. I couldn't say no to him.

He took me by the hand and started to grind with me. I pressed my back to his chest as he gripped into my body. My face was flushed and my body felt weightless. I wasn't sure if it was the drinks or the fact I forgot to put my contacts in. But I swore I saw Jon kiss my fiancee.

"Whoa, hold it." I said stopping the dance.

"What?"

"Is Jon ... kissing Brent?"

Kaner looked over before he started laughing, "Holy fucking shit they are!"

"OH MY GOD!" I gasped.

"AY SHARPIE AND STEEGS!" Kaner yelled pointing towards Jon and Brent. They both just laughed as my face burned 5000 degrees.

I saw Jon close the cap between him and Brent again and that did it for me. It was no sideshow joke anymore. I stormed over towards Jon and grabbed him off Brent.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING!?"

"I don't know .. I .. I .." Jon's eyes suddenly glazed over and his skin was starting to lose colour.

"Jon?" My voice sounded started.

Suddenly he fainted and his body was convulsing on the floor. Everything after that was a blur. The music stopped, everyone was watching us. The tears were pouring out of me. I yelled for an ambulance as I slowly held Jon as he rolled into a coma.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

NEW STORY. PLEASE FOLLOW!

Don't worry, I am still going to update this one. I don't want you to think I'm steering away from this one, cause I'm not! But I had a busy weekend, so I might update this one tomorrow night. BUT. I started a new Seabs story, and I was hoping you guys would follow and comment on it, like you've been doing so graciously with this one that I'm thankful for. Please?

http://babyfacex7.blogspot.com/

Thanks guys, it's means a lot
lovelovelove xx

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

chapter thirty-seven ;

I recall all our fights, most of all, all the times you would lie in my arms. Now you're gone. There's a lot that you don't notice when you read between the lines. The future's out of focus, when you're blinded by the light. It's the hope for all the hopeless, in the worst of trying times. I resort to being speechless cause our love won't survive. Don't speak a word.

"Brent ... I ... don't know ... I ..."

He kneeled in front of me and it felt like no one else was around us. My eyes were fixated on his. I could feel his breath on my face. I watched his hand reach up to my cheek and my breath was shaky.

"I can't see myself with anyone but you."

"I don't know if I have an answer for you right now."

"We don't have to get married right away. We could be engaged for 50 years for all I care."

I chuckled slightly, "make that 25 years."

"Is that a yes?"

I nodded slightly, my butterflies were killing my stomach. He flips open a small black velvet box, and my heart stopped. There lied, a siliver, three diamond band. It was sparkling against the christmas lights on the three. The entire room grew still as he slid it over my knuckle and it sat there, perfectly. Like it belonged there. I couldn't imagine my hand without it now. I took in his presence for a mere second before I wrapped my arms around his neck, spontaneously bursting into tears. He pulled me away from his chest, we were both laughing for no reason before he kissed me. Our first kiss as an engaged couple. It felt right.

As I pressed my forehead against his, I saw Gabby at the corner of my eye. Furiously putting her boots on, giving me a final glare before she slammed the door shut.

"What's .. her problem?" Steeger slowly asked as his eyes shifted.

"She hates me, what do you think?" Brent sighed.

"Well, she's gunna have to get over it. It's a done deal." I deeply sigh this time. This wasn't how I was supposed to feel right now ...

I throw my coat on and head outside. I see Gabby sitting in a chair, staring into the banks of snow. I clear my throat and sit beside her. She won't even look at me.

"Gabby ..."

"I can't fucking believe you." She said it so quickly, but I could feel the anger in her words.

"Gab's, you know how I feel about him." I whispered. "It was bound to happen."

"Do you remember anything about those three months when he was gone? Anything?" She snapped, finally looking over at me. I didn't respond to her, causing her to roll her eyes. "How about the fucking time I broke into your room and seeing you slashing your wrist so deep I had to drive you to the hospital?" I started to tear up as she grabbed my wrist, exposing the scar. "Does he know why you have this? Does he?"

"Gabby, stop it. He doesn't have to know about that ..."

"Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me right now?" She screamed at me, causing my face to fluster.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" I screamed back at her as the tears began to form. "You're putting me in a such a difficult spot right now."

"He has you brainwashed, you're the same anymore."

"He has not! What do you want me to do?"

She quickly ran her fingers through her hair before she bitterly stared at me, "I want him gone, Ally. He's a horrible person! He's a horrible, selfish, self-serving person. He only wanted you back cause Jon had you."

"No, he's not. He's made mistakes like we all have. You don't know him like I do."

"We've never had problems until he came around. Now that is has happened, I just can't be around you anymore. He's always with you now. I can't believe you took him back so easily."

"Well, that's too bad. He's gunna be around for a long time. I'm marrying him for god sake."

She stood up from her seat, sniffing back her tears. I could feel her eyes on me, but I kept mine on my toes. I was letting my best friend down. I was losing a friend over this. I just couldn't win anymore.

"I just want us to be okay." I whimpered as a few cold tears hit my face.

"It's not gunna be okay, until he's gone"

Sunday, July 11, 2010

chapter thirty-six ;

Just know that in my heart, it beats for you. So leave a little note for me behind. I swear I have to know the reasons why this won't survive. But if you fall back into my life, I'd spend every night waking up to the beat I hear inside, telling me to be your only one. But if you fall back into my life, I promise you I would never let another day just pass us by. I could never leave this world undone. I want to be your only one

My entire body was shaking when I woke up the next morning. I throw the sheet for over my head and look out the window. It was snowing horrendously out. A groan escaped my mouth as I plopped back down onto the bed. Feeling Brent's body heat radiate onto me. Mornings were the worst for me since my accident. I was always cold, my leg was killing me, my head was splitting on top of it all. But with Brent here, it didn't seem so bad.

I closed my eyes for a mere second before I felt his lips brush my face, giving me more shivers. His hand ran up my back, causing my body to grow a couple degrees warmer, not that I was complaining or anything.

"Merry Christmas, baby."

I fluttered my eyes open and looked up at him, "Merry Christmas."

He pressed his mouth to mine, then broke away to trail kisses on my chin, jaw line, and then he sunk his teeth into my neck. I wasn't alive enough for this at - god knows what time it was right now. But, I liked it. Even if I didn't get this cast off for another two weeks. We had to think of other ways to be affectionate. As usual, he was a guy, so I knew he bursting at the seams for us to have some sort of make up sex. Yeah, not gunna happen anytime soon.

"Brent, stop, please." I inaudibly said as his lips were still on my skin.

He pulled away from my neck, letting out a deep sigh. I wasn't sure if it was from his lack of breath or cause I annoyed him. I eagerly stared at him, watching him run his hands through his hair, "I'm sorry. I keep forgetting you're still hurt."

"And it's morning. I'm not the most energetic. Plus, I haven't taken my pills ..."

"Pill popper."

"Shut up!" I gasp pushing him from me.

This caused a mouthful of giggles to come out of both of us. He grabs my wrist, then tenderly pressed his mouth to mine again. Making me melt right into the bed. After another few kisses were stolen, we head into the kitchen and I finally get myself to normal.

"So are we opening our stuff here, or back at Dunc's? I asked as I put away my final medication bottle.

"We're going over there in like 20 minutes, sound good?"

I nodded and headed back into the room to change. I throw on some sweatpants to cover up my cast, and a white v-neck t-shirt with a red hawks zip up hoodie. I placed my hair into a messy bun and applied some bronzer to my vampire toned face and mascara to my tired eyes.

"I look horrible." I say to myself.

"You do not."

I turn around, biting my lip. Brent was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking over at me. I flicked the bathroom light off and we headed back over to Duncan's house. As we get there, Duncan wanted me and Brent to have a photo together. It was his thing since we couldn't be home this year. We stand in front of the tree, everyone is smiling at us and Sharpie is making immature noises with this tongue.

"Really Pat?"

"Sorry, I'll stop. I just want to open up my gifts okay?"

I shake my head as I feel Brent's arm wrap around me. I draw in my breath in order to keep myself together in front of everyone. The last thing I needed was them thinking I was crazy. Well, who am I kidding. I am crazy. He pulls me closer and a huge smile was placed on my mouth. Not even the highest form of surgery could've removed it. As the flash went off, he placed his lips on my cheek and my eyes somehow wondered up to the ceiling. Love. Look what you're doing to me.

"You look like you just rolled outta bed." Sharpie says sitting beside me.

"Do you want your gift or not?"

"Oh my god! YES!"

I pass him a box and he tears it up quicker than what was humanly possible. His eyes widen as he sees the watch placed in a blue velvet box. He rips it outta the box and puts it on. His eyes were goggling over it.

"HOLY SHIT, THIS BEATS THE ONE JULIE GOT ME!"

I laugh at him as Taylor sits beside me and passes me a small gift bag. I thank her for it and take the tissue out of the bag. I gasp as two tickets to see Keith Urban were sitting inside.

"Oh my god ..."

"Duncan told me the significance his music has to you and Brent cause of last summer. I know the concert's not till July, but, we wanted to get you something special."

I quickly wiped away the tear that escaped me, "Thank you guys, it means a lot."

"Oh, what'd we get?" Brent added as he sat back down.

"Keith Urban tickets. Remember summer?"

"Till summer comes around. Our song." He whispers.

I nod as he quickly kisses me before I open up some more gifts. I was given a hollister gift card, some bath bombs, another jersey of Brent's, but it was the one they wore at the winter classic, a new iPod touch and random gift cards from places all over Chicago. Brent and I got Duncan a new top of the line TV, and Duncan got Brent, ironically the same thing. It was one of the most enjoyable Christmases I've had in a while.

Then Jon was walks through the door. With Steeger who pretty much bombards me with a hug that causes me to fall back onto the couch. Oh, I should mention that Gabby is still here, buts she's crashing at Jon's place. Actually, she won't even talk to me.

"Hello to you too, buddy."

"I got you something!" He says pulling something out of his hoodie pocket. I take it out of his hands, and it was a receipt for me to pick up yet again, another Seabrook jersey. This time, it was his road one.

"Did you guys plan this or something? What am I going to do with three of his jerseys?

"Wear one while you're doin it" Patrick comments while his mouth is full of food.

I throw a nut at him as Jon walks over to me. His smile is warming, my heart can not keep up with my breathing right now, "Hey, you finally made it."

"I did. Here's your gift." He says passing me a small tiffany's box.

"Jon ... this is nowhere near what I got you ..."

"Doesn't matter, open it."

I open it up and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. There lied, a small locket attached to a silver chain. I picked it up in my hand and noticed it had the words, "never far behind" engraved inside the heart shaped locket.

"It's a friendship one. Don't worry. I just want you to know I'm here, no matter what."

"Thank you Jon, this is amazing." I said before he pulled me into a hug, driving me completely insane.

"Guys, I have something I want to share," Brent announces.

The room suddenly goes silent and Brent stands up. My entire body begins to shake again. My mouth is dry as I stare at him. I think I know what's coming it next. It was so obvious. Even my body and mind knew what was going on before I actually did. I can't hear anything over my heart pounding in my chest.

"Marry me."

Friday, July 9, 2010

chapter thirty-five ;

So, I've noticed my comments were kinda, dropping in a way. So I'm not gunna update my story unless I get 6 comments from now on. I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch, but, like I've said. I spend a lot of time updating this story, and I love writing it. I would like some feedback though. Thanks guys.xoxox
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Cause every time I look you're never there, and every time I sleep, you're always there I recognize the way you make me feel. It's hard to think that you might not be real. Cause you're everywhere to me, and when I close my eyes it's you I see. You're everything I know, that makes me believe I'm not alone

It's been a week since I was in the hospital. I'm out now. It's now christmas eve. We were heading over to my brothers house for Christmas dinner. Brent told me it's been a tradition since he's been with Taylor that this happens. To be honest, I was excited. Even if Jon was gunna be there.

Jon is ... complicated. What can I say. I swore we were in love with each other, but he does a full 360 and drops me. Is there someone else? I mean, he knew that I loved Brent and would eventually take him back. But, he didn't really put up a fight, which I don't understand right now. I probably never will, either.

I'm standing in front of the mirror in Brent's apartment, curling my hair. My eyes are glittered up with champagne coloured eyeshadow and mascara that made my lashes higher than the Sears tower. I was wearing a black strapless sequined dress to match the black gem ring Brent gave me as an early christmas gift.

I slowly make my way out of the bathroom. My leg cast went a little past my knee and all the way down to the tips of my toes. It was such an eye sore. I hated it. But, at least I could walk around without help.

And there he was.

I took my time taking in his presence. His dark, soft to the touch hair, creamy toned skin, jungle like eyes. He wore a pair of dark washed fitted jeans and a pale blue blouse. I guess you could say he needed some fashion advice, but he looked perfect to me. I sometimes wondered how I got lucky again. Then sometimes I wondered why someone so beautiful could be so thick minded like he once was. But he promised he'd never hurt me again, he better keep that promise.

He turned around and his eyes caught mine. I felt my knees buckle and my heart go faster than a horse at a derby. His eyes are eager as he got closer to me. His lips brush mine. I felt alive. His arms keep a hold of me as we break apart. Not daring to break our eye contact.

"It's the closet thing I had that was dressy that matched the cast. I look ridiculous."

"You look beautiful."

"If you say so."

"I don't lie."

I wanted to say something smart there, but I kept my mouth shut. For once.

"ALLY!"

Patrick Sharp pulls me into a huge hug the second that we get into Dunc's house. Everyone is relieved that I'm okay from my accident. I guess it's good to know that I have people around me. After the last three months, I needed everyone possible.

"When did you get out?" Pat asks me as he takes my coat.

"Last night, before you guys got home from Calgary."

"Wow, I guess it wasn't as bad as we thought."

"It really wasn't"

I walk right into the kitchen and everyone is standing around with drinks talking to everyone. Of course, since my medication is strong, I can't drink. Everyone greets with me with open arms. Then I see Jon.

"Hey ..."

Jon slowly looks down at me, I feel 5 inches tall. "Ally, you're out of the hospital?"

"Mhm, I got cleared last night."

"That's a relief. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Would you be mad if I took your friend Gina out."

I laugh, "Gina?"

"Yeah."

The bitterness is suddenly beating inside of me, "Have a thing for her now?"

"I kinda did in the summer when I thought that you were set on Brent."

"Just don't hurt her, please."

"I won't."

I walk away from him to find Brent. You know, my boyfriend. He's sitting on the couch talking to Steeger. I stand behind him, run my hands through his hair and press my lips to his neck. His skin is starting to heat up against my fingers. The littlest of contact with him, just drove me insane. I couldn't get enough of it.

After we had dinner, we sat in the living room watching the Grinch. Sharpie had this excellent idea that he wanted us to open one gift each tonight, but we decided to wait. He was bursting at the seams, though. So he got up and ran into the kitchen for a moment and came back, puffing hot breath from his cheeks.

"ALLY, OPEN MINE!" He exclaims running over with a box for me.

I chuckle and take it from his hands, "Thanks buddy."

My hands run over the golden paper before I find a loose corner and rip it open. He sure did a number on the taping. I open it up and a bright red hawks jersey layed inside. I pull it out and feel something fall by my feet. I ignore it for now and look at the back of it. Of course Brent's name and number was on the back.

"I was gunna get my jersey for you, but you know, I'm kinda in high demand." Sharp comments.

"Oh shuttup you. This is perfect, thank you."

"You forgot something."

"Oh!" I gasped grabbing the envelope that fell to the floor.

As I ripped it open, a shriek came out of my mouth. It was an autographed photo of Sidney Crosby. It read "To my biggest fan, Ally. All the best and see you in Vancouver! Love, Sidney."

"Holy fucking shit."

"I called him and asked him if he could do that for you. I ran out of ideas for another gift for you."

"Wow, this is perfect, Patrick. Thank you."

We all say goodbye to everyone and headed back home. It was freezing outside. As we got into the car, Brent found my hand. I half smiled. I was thinking too much. I loved him, I wanted him only. To be honest. I was happy Jon wanted to move on. I didn't need anymore drama in my life. I've had my fair share of it.

Monday, July 5, 2010

chapter thirty-four; derp derp.

Some things we don't talk about. Rather do without and just hold the smile. Falling in and out of love, ashamed and proud of, together all the while. I will be your guardian when all is crumbling, to steady your hand. We're pulling apart and coming together again and again. We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again. You can never say never, while we don't know when time, time, time again. Younger now than we were before ... don't let me go

When I woke up the next morning I was confused. The hospital lights were blinding me, the smell was making my stomach turn. My head felt like someone was continuously punching it. Above it all, I was starving.

I slightly panicked when I saw Brent wasn't lying beside me. I shook it off as the nurse came in and drugged me up. Suddenly, all the pain had vanished. Well, for a moment that is.

"Hey."

I look over at the door and see Jon standing there. Ugh the guilt was slowly falling over me. He got closer and I wouldn't even look at him. The tears started to form as I kept my eyes on my shaking hands.

"Ally, are you okay?"

"Jon, what are you doing with me?"

"What?"

"Why are you with me?"

"Cause, I've been in love with you for a year, and ... you finally became mine. Why?"

"Jon, I don't want to hurt you ..."

"Where is this coming from?" He replied with some anger in his voice, "What happened after I left Brent's house?"

A couple tears fell down my face and I was quick to wipe them away. Jon was staring at me with so much violence in his eyes. I didn't want to hurt him. He was the one that was there when Brent broke my heart. Twice may I add. Oh my god what was I doing?

"I just think ... I should be away from the both of you."

"But ..."

"I can't do this anymore. Jon, you know how I feel about him. I just don't want to hurt you."

"I know."

"What?"

"I took advantage of you, when you were depressed. I made you feel like I was the one you needed. I was hoping you'd maybe finally realize that, and I thought you had your heart set on me. But, I was wrong."

I was confused, I stared at him as my mouth lied open, "But, I don't ... what the hell?"

"You belong with him. He's finally realized what an asshole he's been. Ally, he loves you. You know what love can do to someone. Look how it made you for 3 months."

His hand ran over the scar on my wrist. I moved my hand away, quickly. I didn't need to be reminded of that. Jon leans over and kisses my forehead. The tears are clouding me up yet again. Jon was letting me go. This is not how I pictured it would happen, or feel like.

"Ally, just know, you always have a place in my heart. But, my mom always told me that if the girl loves someone more, you should let her go, and that's what I have to do. I just want you to be happy."

"But ..."

"Shh, don't say anything. I have to let you go."

He kissed my forehead again and left the room. I placed my face into my hands and began to sob hysterically. He let me go. It was what I wanted all along, but it was painful.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

chapter thirty-three ;

My love, leave yourself behind. Beat inside me, leave you blind. My love, you have found peace. You were searching for release. You gave it all, into the call. You took a chance and you took a fall for us. You came thoughtfully, loved me faithfully. You taught me honor, you did it for me. Tonight you will sleep for good. You will wait for me my love. You gave all you had and now I am home

Brent's POV ;;

I'm laying in my bed, with Helen. I run my fingers through her hair, and feel some disappointment. She was no Ally. My mind wouldn't stop racing about our kiss earlier. I don't know what came over me, what came over her. Even when we were together, we never kissed like that. Was it mixed emotions? Tempers flaring after a month of despising each other? God, who knows.

I run my finger over my nose, feeling a small smirk on my mouth. The bandage was of course still intact, and made me think of Ally. Cause she was the one who nursed it.

Suddenly, there was a furious knock on my door, waking Helen from her sleep. I get out of bed and throw a pair of sweatpants on. I swear to god if it's Jon back here to kick my ass ...

But it wasn't. It was Patrick. He looked like he's been through hell and back. His hair was a matted mess and his eyes were swollen.

"Dude, what the hell? Did Julie run you over with your car?"

"No, fuck you man! It's Ally."

I scan down to my room door, no sign of Helen. I close my apartment door so Patrick and I are standing in the hall. A few on lookers give me questioning eyes as they notice I have no shirt on. Really? Like you haven't seen a half naked guy before.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Dude, there's no light way to say this but ... she got in a car accident."

My heart dropped into my stomach, "The fuck do you mean?"

"Outside of my apartment building. Gabby said she was thinking a lot, ended up driving on the other side of the road, and lost control of the car. She hit a pole, and she dejected out the window. I heard all the sirens, and recognized Jon's Jetta so I went down."

I couldn't even respond. My body was shaking. Ally ... was hurt. It was all my doing. "Is she okay?"

"She was able to talk to me before she got taken away to the hospital. She wanted me to tell you over Jon." I shot him a look, he knew everything, "Brent, I get it. She still loves you, a lot. You should go down there now, I have no idea what's going on. I'll wait for you downstairs."

I nod on account I couldn't even make a proper sentence. I jolted right back into my room, scrambling to find a shirt to wear. I settle on a black hawks shirt, throw it over my head as I search for my sneakers.

"Brent, what's going on?"

"It's Ally. She's been in an accident."

"What do you mean?"

"She's in the fucking hospital okay?" I snap as tossed on my hawks baseball cap.

She gasps and crosses her arms at me, "Brent ... stop hiding behind this mask"

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"You love her. I can see it in your eyes. You light up when someone mentions her, your fists clench when Jon's around you. You've been acting so odd since she came around again."

Well, shit, if she can see it, I might as well not hide it, "Fine. You got me. I still love her. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'll let myself out. Goodbye Brent."

I nod. Not feeling an ounce of guilt. I scoop up my keys and cautiously drive to the hospital. My heart is beyond pounding in my throat. I felt sick. My emotions never ran this much before ...

Everyone is in the lobby as I get there. Gabby is shaking as Sharp pulls her to his chest. Duncan is staring at the floor. Jon isn't here just yet. I sit down beside Dunc and give him a light nudge. He glances up at me and doesn't say a thing.

"Dunc ... is she okay?"

"What is your problem?" He snapped.

"What?"

"Why can't you make up your fucking mind? I don't like you passing around my sister like a fucking puck. She's very ... fragile. She's not like a car you can fix up, or a hockey stick you can re-tape up."

"I get that. I'm sorry. We talked it all out."

"Fine, well, she's waiting for you."

My eyes widen, "she's awake?"

"Yeah, she only wants to see you."

I get the directions from Dunc to where she is. My nerves on edge, I don't know if I was prepared for what I would see next. I pop my head in the room and my stomach turns. Her leg is wrapped up in a cast, a huge bandage is wrapped around her head, another cast is on her wrist and she's hooked up to an IV. Why did I feel like this was my fault?

She's sleeping though, so I pull up a chair beside her bed and grab her hand. My eyes just stare at her face. She was still beautiful. Her hair was a tangled mess. I notice a hair band on her wrist, I slide it off gently and do my best to put her hair into a ponytail. Her body moves and her eyes flicker open. I was so relieved, I felt tears filling my eyes.

"You're here," Her voice was cracking already.

I kiss her forehead, "Patrick told me you wanted me here."

"I did. Brent I lied to you."

"What?"

"I still love you. I want to be with you again."

I stop and stare at her. Finally she admitted it to me. She would be mine again. I lean over and ever so gently kiss her lips. A small tear escaped her eyes and I wiped it away for her.

"Kiss me again ..."

I hesitated at first and pressed my mouth to hers. Her hand cupped my face weakly. As we pulled apart I looked into her eyes. Despite the gash on her cheek, her eyes still shined like they did in July. A small yawn fell past her lips and I let go of her hand.

"No, don't go please." She pleaded, as if she was terrified.

"I won't go anywhere, I promise."

"Good. Cause, I don't want you to. We can't be apart. You can't ever leave again ..."

At this point, she's trembling, tears are pouring out of her, "Shh, stop talking. We'll figure this out when you're better." She nodded but kept looking over at me, "What is it?" I ask.

"You. You're ... beautiful."

I feel my face blush a bit, "How hard did you hit your head?"

She gently chuckles and her smile is beaming. Ah, there was that smile I adored so much. She suddenly had his stern look on her face and began to move.

"Ally, what's wrong?"

"I want you to lie here with me. For the rest of the night." She was so damn determined.

"I can't fit on there with you, Ally. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Take me with you."

"I can't just take you out of here."

She begins to huff, "Well, I don't want to be away from you, why can't you see that?" I get up and pull her to my chest. She's hysterically crying. It must've been the morphine making her like this. "Can't you try, please? I don't want you giving up like you did in August ..."

That hit a nerve with me for minute. My biggest mistake. I kick my shoes off and she moves enough to make room for me. Good thing her leg was on a sling so I couldn't hit it. The second my body made contact with her, she gripped onto my arm and pressed her face to my chest. Her body is viciously shaking, but then it comes to small halt as she drifts off to sleep. I rest my chin on her head, and I smiled to myself. She was mine again, this time, I'm not letting go.

chapter thirty-two ;

Taking steps back through the words I should've said to you, they all got lost. You went away, well I feel sick and you just don't care anymore. Hours to be with you, minutes of me in you. I can't feel this happening so tie my hands back and make me feel you coming down. You don't care your face is on a billboard, and you're everywhere, you don't care much for interviews. You're gone, you're gone away. If you don't like being hurt then please don't stay

I stormed down to the car, my face was completely flustered. Gabby is leaning against it, arms crossed. I hit the button to open it up. Without a word, I open up the door.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes."

"Ally, you don't look okay."

"I'M FINE OKAY, STOP ASKING ME SHIT!" I snapped.

She raises her hands in defense, "If you say so."

"I'm sorry. I'm not okay."

"What happened up there?"

I let out a shaky sigh, "Brent kissed me, and I didn't stop him. It was like nothing I've ever felt before."

"Shit, do you still love him?"

"With everything I have. This fucking hurts. I don't want to break Jon's heart over this."

"Okay, let's just go back to the house, and talk this out. Maybe tomorrow you can talk to Brent again. Get the full story."

"I suppose so."

"It's gunna be okay. You can't argue with your heart, Ally. It doesn't work that way."

I just nod and get into the car, throwing it into drive without being cautious. The buildings and street lights were flying by me at lightning speed. My mind was clouded with what just happened. I kept getting flashbacks of the kiss. My god, it was like nothing I've never felt before. The way his lips were over mine, the heat, the passion. It was amazing. Was he really sorry for the mistakes he made? Was it worth choosing him over Jon?

"ALLY LOOK OUT!"

I didn't have time to look out. The whole car was out of my control. The tires were screeching in my head, and it was like the world came to a hault as a huge thud came afterwards. My body was dejected onto the street. I was left on the ground, convulsing as Gabby's screams were the only thing I heard. The noise was getting downed out as I heard sirens.

"Ally, wake up, please."

My eyes open, but only slightly. I see Gabby clasping her mouth as the tears began to pour out of her. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming, because I saw Sharpie leaning over me. He clutched my hand and tears were filling his eyes.

"Ally hold on, please they're almost here."

"Pat ..." I inaudibly croaked.

"Shh, don't say anything. You'll be okay."

I didn't say anything, I just felt him tighten the grip on my hand. My eyes were closed. I couldn't feel anything. I saw the sirens lights dancing behind my eyelids. Then some people came and picked me up. I finally opened my eyes and still, Patrick remained holding onto my hand.

"She's lost a lot of blood in her leg."

"NO! My hand, its ... burning!" I shriek.

"Glass splinters, we'll get rid of them. Are you her boyfriend?"

Patrick sighed and let go of my hand, "No, just a friend of her and her brother."

"Well, you're the closet family for now. You should come with us."

"Patrick, tell Brent what's going on please." I weakly said.

"Don't you mean Jon?"

"No."

He sighed, "Alright, I guess I could do that."

I don't remember much after that. My body got lifted into ambulance, the morphine was making me numb. Lights passed my eyes, doctors ran all around me in a panicking matter. Then everything went black.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

chapter thirty-one ;

A hundred days had made me older, since the last time that I've saw your pretty face. A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same. I’m here without you baby, but your still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.

"Wait, Ally. Don't go yet."

His eyes seem inviting, but I've seen that look before. A part of me was telling me to sit down and hear what he had to say. But was it something I wanted to hear? Or have I heard it all before?

"I don't think I should. Jon might start questioning things, and Gabby --"

He sighs and sympathetically looks down at the table, "No, you're right. Stupid of me to ask that anyway."

"It's not like that. It's just ... I actually don't know."

He reaches over and gently grabs my hand. I could feel the shivers as I watched him stroke the top of my hand with his thumb. The room was so silent, you could've heard a pin drop. He kept his eyes fixated on my hand for some reason. I was just watching him, his every move, his every breath. It was intoxicating.

"Ally, please believe me. He's not right for you."

I forcefully take my hand away from his grip, not this again, "What makes you think that?"

"I see how you are around him. It's like you're forcing yourself to be perfect for him. You don't have to change for me."

"You don't get it. I love him."

"You're still in love with me though." He nonchalantly replies, "You just won't admit it."

"I'm not." I quickly say back while shaking my head, "I'm in love with Jon. I want to spend ... a very long time with him."

"But not forever?"

"Forever is an unrealistic commitment. Even for you."

He stands up from the table and gets closer to me. Our bodies are pressed against each other right now. My heart is beyond pounding in my chest right now. I can't think right, my mind is clouded up. He reaches out and runs his fingers through my hair, pushing it away from my neck, letting it fall down my back.

"I'm still in love with you, I don't care if you can't see it. I'm gunna fight for you. If it kills me ... then so be it."

"Don't do this. You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"I don't care." He simply replies, making my head shake again.

A deep, shaky sigh came out of me. I cup the side of his face as he eagerly stared into my eyes, "You're just gunna waste your time." I whisper, his nose is nuzzled against mine at this point, "You'll just end up like me when you left in August. Nothing but a miserable waste of life. Just begging for your time to end. It'll make you want to disappear."

"You know, I can't stop kicking myself for that. I can't imagine what I put you through. It kills me, honestly."

"It was more than most people go through in their lifetime. Trust me." I coldly reply.

I was so lost in his voice that I forgot how close I was to him. Our noses pressed together, our lips, less than an inch apart. There was nothing I wanted more than to kiss him. I needed to know if I still felt the same about him. His face was expressionless, observing my face. He was making me curious. I took one small move and closed the gap between us. His lips were over mine. My hands wrapped around his neck and he dug his fingertips into my sides. His lips found mine with an eagerness that was not far from violence. Complete, and utter bliss.

His lips moved with mine, in strange ways that I knew wasn't actually like him, with me at least. It was different. I've only seen him kiss Helen once, But it wasn't like this. Nothing was like this. His movements with his lips with me were different. They were bold. They were entirely different from the way I saw him kiss her. All of my emotions were being placed into the aggression of my lips. I was screaming at him through the kiss to tell him it was still him. In some strange, unbeautiful way, it was still him.

He finally pulled away from me, desperate for air. I kept my hands gripped around his neck. I was amazed at how much closer I kept pulling him towards me. I think he was amazed at it too. I pressed my forehead against his chest, and he kissed the top of my head as I listened to his uneven rapid heartbeat. I closed my eyes and saw a future. Us standing on a typical front porch, watching my brother chase around our two boys. With dark hair and electric eyes like Brent's. How can I dream of something if I haven't even chose him?

"Ally, please, I just want you to see it the way that I do."

"Brent, I love you. But, I'm not in love with you."

He backs up from me, and I can feel my skin growing cold already. It hurt to lie to him like that. Inside I was shrieking, kicking and cursing at myself for that. "He has his nails digging into you deeper than I thought."

"You know nothing about me and Jon. Please stop this."

"He's not the person you think he is, Ally."

My body starts viciously shaking, the tears are forming. "If it makes you feel any better, won't come back to Chicago ever again. I'll go work for another team. I'll stay clear from you."

"No, please stay. Not seeing you would be worse than seeing you. Even if, when you look at me, it kills me."

"I can't. Knowing that I'm hurting you, hurting Jon when he doesn't even know it, and causing myself so much confusion. I can't do it anymore."

He steps over and clasps my waist again, "It wouldn't be like that if you were with me again. If I had my way, I'd marry you tomorrow."

I couldn't even comprehend what he was saying. My body was frozen. I felt petrified. I started rambling random words, nothing was making any sense. He shut me up by kissing me again. There was more violence in this kiss. He grabbed a fistful of my hair as I tugged on the collar of his V-neck T-shirt. There was more aggression in the kiss. Like he was telling me everything through the kiss like I was before. My heart is thundering in my chest as his body heat was radiating onto me. He pulled away yet again and some pathetic weak whimper fell past my lips. He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and presses his lips to my ear.

"I bet he can't do that."

"I think someone's been practicing."

"No. I don't kiss her like that. I only leave that for you ..."

"I need to go. Gabby's waiting for me."

He clutches me to him, his eyes are worried, "No. Don't ..."

"I really have to go, Brent. Please."

"Fine, just one more thing before you go," He leans down and plants a small, tender kiss on my lips. Leaving me desperate for more from him. "Please make the right decision."

I created a long silent pause. I gulp back my lost breath and tried to manage something smart to say. Still nothing. I tried to force out a response, but I was numb. I was trying so hard to not feel anything for him again, he seemed to know my answer. I was so unsure of everything right now.

"I'll follow you until my heart gives out. Don't ever forget it."