Monday, December 6, 2010

chapter sixty-one;

Okay, not to confuse people with this new Character. He is not made up. He actually does play for the leafs. As most of you know, I've been a leaf fan my entire life, and I always will be. He's my favourite player on the team aside from Komisarek and Schenn. He's only in his first full season with the leafs, and he's a Jordan Staal like player to me. He's gunna be a beast in years to come. Here's a photo of him, so you can see what he looks like :)

"Brent, it's me ... look I'm sorry for our argument last night. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Please phone me, back. I'm so sorry. Bye ..."

I hung up my phone and slid it onto my kitchen counter. 10 times I've phoned him, 25 times I've texted him. He won't answer me. Maybe it's for the best, I'll give him space.

Suddenly, my phone rang and I grabbed it in lightning speed. My stomach sunk when I saw it was Tyler instead. I forgot we were going out tonight.


"Oh, if this is a bad time ... I'll phone later."

"No." I sighed, "how did you know?"

"Your voice, it sounded disappointed."

"How did you figure that out."

"Duuno, I just did."

I smirked, he could read me, "Well, I'm fine. Are you on your way?"

"Yeah, Luke and his girlfriend are coming, as well as my roomie, Luca. I'll be there in a minute, literally."

I laughed gently, "Okay."

I hung up my phone and ran over to my mirror. I was dressed in a comfy pair of dark jeans, a navy blue and white striped v-neck t-shirt and a black cardigan over it. My hair was in a loose side-braid and my make up was minimal.  There was a light knock on my door and my heart jumped. My footsteps were heavy as I went and opened up the door. I was breathless.

Tyler stood on the other side of the door in a fitting pair of jeans and a navy blue hollister hoodie. His dark hair was a perfect mess and his deep brown eyes were glowing through me. I was captivated like a firework show. 

"I don't bite." He joked.

"OH!" I jumped as I moved away from the door and let him. "I'll be right back."

I walked back into my room shaking my head. Good going. I grabbed my tall black uggs and my purse before walking back into my living room, noticing Tyler was looking at some of my photos.

"Your friends are cute." He smirking, pointing to one of me and Steph from last summer.

"That's Steph, she's my best friend."

He nods as he points to a photo of me and Brent. It was taken after the game during the Olympic orienteering week in Alberta. We were on the ice, he still had his equipment on, and his arm was around me, and he was kissing the top of my head. I chewed on my bottom lip as Tyler stared at it.

"I didn't know you personally knew Seabrook."

"Yeah, well, you know Duncan Keith is my brother, and Brent's his best friend, so."

"No, I mean, it seems like you really knew him,"

I took another lingering look at the photo, "I thought I knew him."

Tyler mirrored my sad expression and followed me out of my apartment. He could tell it was bothering me, it was killing me actually. I forced myself to smile at him, he bought it as he lead me out to his car.

The city lights were shining and there was a glow off the pavement, it rained this afternoon and the addictive smell lingered in the air. Tyler opened up the door for me and I slipped into his car. He told me we were heading to an Italian restaurant down the road, I nodded and my stomach agreed. I was starving.

"Hey Ally!"

Luke Schenn pulled me into a hug and introduced me to his girlfriend. Her name was Kayla, and she was the same height as me and was blonde. She could've been a twin for Steph. Tyler introduced me to his friend Luca Caputi. He was very Italian looking, and I had to admit, he was pretty cute. We all sat in a booth and ordered a whole bunch of dishes and all had handfuls from each plate.

"So, Ally, didn't you work with the hawks before us?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, I did."

"Why would you rather work with us, over them? They're so much better than our team."

"Cause, my ex boyfriend worked for the Hawks, and it was awkward being around him. It's a really long story, besides, I was always a leaf fan growing up."

"Understandable. And Duncan's your brother right?"

"Yeah, he's the best brother I could ask for." I beamed, I had to admit, I missed my brother to death right now.

"She's friends with Seabrook too." Tyler chimed in.


I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and nodded, "Yeah."

"It looks like they were pretty close, she has a lot of photo's of him in her living room."

"Ohh, seems like Ally may have a thing for him."

"I gotta go." I muttered walking away from the table as tears burned my eyes.

I opened up the door and the spring wind hit my face, whipping my hair from my face. I felt a few tears escape my eyes. I missed Brent with everything I had. I checked my phone again, nothing. This was all aggravating me.


I turned around and it was Tyler. "What?"

"What happened back there? Did, something I say bother you?"

"I can't lie to you Tyler."


"I was engaged to Brent."

His facial expression dropped and his mouth was slightly open as he stared at me with so much concern. I looked away from his beautiful face to catch my breath and wipe my eyes.

"Wow. I'm so sorry. If I knew, I wouldn't have said anything."

"It's fine. It's over. I need to get forget it." I sighed.

"It doesn't seem like you're over it." He replied as he got closer and offered me his hand, "C'mon, I'll take you home, we can do this another time. The city won't run away on us."

I nodded and look his hand. It fit perfectly against mine as we walked back to his car. The ride home was a bit silent, but Tyler made a crack at how stupid Luke can be and it brought a smile to my face, and his. His smile was something else.

"Again, I'm sorry about tonight."

"Don't worry about it. You didn't know."

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow? Since we have to be at the airport tomorrow at 8."

"Yeah, I almost forgot." I replied, "You can come in if you want."


"Yeah, I don't want to be alone. It hurts the most when I'm alone."

He lightly cupped the side of my face and nodded, "Okay."

I opened up the door and he went in first. I took off my shoes and sweater and headed into the kitchen. I made us hot chocolate as I heard Tyler turn on sportscentre. I smirked to myself. I loved watching sportscentre before bed, it's like he knew me.

"So how did Brent get so lucky?"

Tyler's question caught me off guard. I put my mug down and brought my knees up to my chest and shrugged.

"I don't know. I fell for him within a split second."

"Wow. I hate to ask, but what happened?"

"A lot of stuff. We've broken up ... oh god, 4 times now."


"Yeah, last summer, he got mad at me for making a mistake, we got back together around Christmas, and he proposed, and I said yes ... then I caught him with some girl during the Olympic break. Then last night ..."

"Did you two break up last night?"

"Yeah. At least I think we did. He said when I came up here for this job, that he wanted to give me space, so that meant he wanted to break up with me. Then last night, he caught me talking to my best friend about you and he blew it out of proportion."

"Talking about me, eh?"

I blushed, "yes we were."

"I hope it was good things."

"Yeah, it was."

"Oh cmon, let me know what you said, at least." He smiled.

"I may have said that you were kinda, sorta, possibly, really cute."

"Oh you do?"

"Shut up." I joked pushing him from me.

"Ally finds me cute!!!"


We ended up having a laughing fit over it. He was something else to me. I haven't smiled or laughed like this in forever. I felt alive for the first time in months. After another hour of watching TV, Tyler decided to go home and get ready for our flight tomorrow.

"Well, I had fun tonight. Again, sorry about Luke."

"Don't worry about it." I replied.

"Goodnight, Ally."


Tyler leaned down, but stopped himself. My breath got caught. He pressed his lips into my forehead gently and his lips lingered on my skin. He lightly touches the side of my face and glances into my eyes.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tyler, wait."

He turned around again and I met him halfway with a simple kiss on his lips. It caught him off guard as we pulled away. It was nothing huge, it was just one little kiss.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering something."


"Wondering if what I felt for you was in my mind."

"Is it?"

"I honestly have no idea."

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

chapter sixty;


I look at my laptop screen to see an angry Steph looking back at me. We're on skype after my first game with the leafs where they won 4-2. Her blue eyes are glaring through the screen and her hair was in a bun on the top of her head. She rubs her face before talking to me again.

"WHAT?! We'll probably just go out for dinner or something! It's not like Tyler said it was a date. It's simply showing me around, plus some of the other guys are going."

"But, what if Tyler wants to get you alone?"

"I won't let him."

She snorts quite loudly, "Yeah, well what if he gets you drunk? You sure can't control yourself when you're drunk. I KNOW THESE THINGS, ALLY."

"Well, then ... I'll just make sure there is no drinking involved." I sighed, "Why does this matter anyways? I told you what Brent said."

"Yeah, but he's been sulking since you left. But he said he wanted what was best for you. He's terrified you'll meet someone, and you have."

"Ugh," I replied as I could feel the tears burning up, "I just don't know what to do. He means everything to me, but he just drives me fucking insane. You've seen how bad he used to treat me."

"I know. But he always somehow makes up for it."

"Yeah, but that's not enough this time. It's just not."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Try and be friends with Tyler, and see where it goes. I'm still young Steph, I should have my fun."

"You're right, Ally. You've been through enough. Just don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," I say as a smirk appears on my face, "Do you know what Tyler looks like?"

She smirked back, "No, show me a picture."

We both laugh quietly as I quickly head over to google and type in Tyler's name. He was pretty hot, there was no denying that. My god, and his smile ...

"HOLY SHIT!" Steph gasps as I email her a picture.

"I told you."

"So he's somewhat cute, just don't do anything dumb."

"Somewhat? Okay then."

"Fine, Ally. You win. Tyler Bozak is insanely good looking, and he obviously likes you, so you should go out with him, are ya happy now?"

"Who's Tyler?"

We both freeze. Steph looked like she saw someone die. I knew that voice better than my own. Before I knew it, Brent's tall shadow was standing behind Steph before his firework eyes peered into the screen. This can't be happening.

"Uhm, Hi." I said.

"Ally, who is Tyler."

"He plays for the leafs ..."



"Jesus christ, Ally. I heard your whole conversation with Steph. Do you like him or something?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

"I don't know. I only met him last night. He just offered to show me around the city a bit."

"He's practically implying a date."

"He is not!"

"Steph, can you leave please."

"Uhm, it's my fucking computer to you fatass."

"STEPH SERIOUSLY! LEAVE" Brent snaps at her.

She rolls her eyes and leaves. At this point, my knees are up to my chest and I'm crying. I look into the screen and Brent is just staring at me. I didn't know what to say. It was him who said he wanted to give me space and let me be free. So why is he making such a big deal out of this?

"Ally, I don't get it. You're gone one day, and you've found someone else. Am I not good enough for you?"

"Brent, don't take this the wrong way."

"How can I not take this the wrong way? I've been in the worst depression since you've been gone. I finally realized what an asshole I've been and I took you for granted every chance I could. I would pull stupid shit and not feel bad about it because I knew you'd come back to me."

"Maybe part of that's my fault! Maybe after your little stint at the olympic development camp I should've walked away, but I couldn't."

"Ally, I loved you, I still do."

I'm choking on my own tears and I can't even look at the screen, "If you loved me, you wouldn't be freaking out like this. You're being awfully hypocritical of yourself right now."

"Oh, am I?"

"YES! What was all that 'ohhh, I'll give you something to believe in, and maybe finding someone better might be the best thing for you' - huh? What was all that?"

"The fucking truth! I just didn't expect you to actually find someone."

"You need to sort your shit out, Brent. When you do. Then you can talk to me."

"Whatever, just go off with your new guy who plays for the worst fucking team ever."

"So now you're dogging on his team? REAL FUCKING MATURE."

"When you're done being a bitch let me know."


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

chapter fifty-nine;

Toronto was beautiful. Way more beautiful then I could remember it was. I breathed in the spring air, even though it was pretty frosty out still.  I hailed a cab out to the hotel I would be staying in. It was right beside the Arena and had a gorgeous view of the lake.

As I got to my hotel room, I got a call from my new boss Ron saying that I had to go to the arena right now. So I put my coat back on and walked down to the arena.

"Ally, there you are."

I turn around and see a man in his early fifties standing in front of me. This must be Ron. We exchanged hello's before he told me that I needed to meet the team. I suddenly grew nervous.

They all stared at me.

I felt like I was 2 feet tall. All of them we're so much bigger than I pictured they would be. Ron explained that I was going to be the new female medic. Some of the guys appeared interested at the thought of it.

"Uhm, yeah, I got this cut I'd like you to look at." Luke Schenn joked. I rolled my eyes and looked over at Ron.

"Well, we have a game against the rangers tomorrow, so go get some rest. All of you."

"Don't you have a game tonight?" I asked.

"It just ended."

"OH!" I replied dumbfounded, "I didn't change the time on my phone yet."

I had to go back into the office with Ron to get some of my supplies I would need for working with the team tomorrow. Typical outfit I even had for working with the hawks - black yoga pants, long sleeve shirt, but this time it was navy blue with a maple leaf on the front of it. I got my medical pouch and my miniature license to keep on me at all times. I was starting to feel at home.

"Okay, goodnight, Ron."

"Goodnight Ally. See you here at 5, sharp."

I nodded and began to walk out of the office with my stuff in my hands. I couldn't remember where I walked in order to get back here. I just followed my gut and walked around this one corner.

Then it hit me.

Actually, someone hit me.

I fell to the floor in a heap. My face was burning up as I tried to get back up onto my feet. Then before I knew it, two big brown eyes were looking at me.  I froze at his baby face.

"I'm so sorry." He flustered as he passed me my phone.

"Don't worry about it." I assured him as I grabbed my stuff and stood up.

"You're Ally, aren't you?"

"Yeah, and you're ... Tyler Bozak aren't you?"

He flushed a bit before looking down at his shoes, "I'm surprised you knew that."

"Pfft. I've been a leaf fan my whole life, so, I knew when someone get's signed."

He smiles at me, making me realize how crooked his smile was, but for some reason, I found it beyond perfect. I was melting at the tips of my shaking fingers.

"This might sound forward, but, if you need someone to show you around the city, me and the guys are pretty familiar with the hot spots."

"No, I'd like that."

"You don't have a boyfriend or anything do you?"

I paused for a minute, thinking of Brent. His words before. Everything we've been through. What he said, about wanting me to free for this month. I shook my head, ignoring every thought I possibly had in that split second. Tyler sent me an eager look, waiting for my response. One little night out couldn't be that harmless, could it?

"No. Not at all."

Sunday, November 28, 2010

chapter fifty-eight;

A week after I found out the news I would be going to Toronto, I finally found out I was leaving today. Steph wasn't too happy about it, but our friend Gina was transferring down to Depaul and would be here at the end of the term. So at least I wasn't leaving Steph in the dark.

But was I ever happy to get out of here.

I got out of the shower and threw on a pair of jeans, a white tank top and a grey cardigan over it. I left my hair naturally wavy and my make up was hardly there. I wheeled out my suitcase into the living room and sat on the couch. Waiting for Brent to pick me up.

"Are you sure sure this is what you want?" Steph asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe. Steph, I might have a better chance with this team than I did with the hawks."

"You're right. You're doing this for you. It's probably worth it."

"I hope so."

After a while longer of waiting, Brent finally came to the door. He didn't look the least bit interested in what was going on. His sad expression grew worse the closer we got to the airport. I could feel my stomach dropping with every second that passed.

Everything was quiet. The car ride, our conversation wasn't there. I tried to grab his hand but he pulled away. I ignored his reflex and watched the Chicago skyline fade faster into the rear view mirror.

"You know, you're not exactly being supportive of me right now." I snapped as he parked the car.

"What are you talking about? I'm taking you to the airport, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you won't even talk to me."

"Sorry. I'm just a little annoyed."

I rolled my eyes, "Brent. It's for a month. Plus, you wouldn't have cared if you didn't apologize to me the other night."

"What makes you think that?"

"Cause you wouldn't have to deal with saying goodbye to me like this." I whispered.

He sighed deeply and gently grabbed my hand, "I'm sorry, okay? I just got you back and I'm losing you again. It's made me think a lot."


"If you're gone for this month. Maybe we should wait till you're back before we get back together."

I deeply swallowed a lump in my throat and looked into his bright eyes, "I don't get it."

"I'm just saying, if you meet someone while you're there ..."

"Why, are you going to find some one night stand while I'm gone?"

"No. Goddammit Ally, why are you making this worse than I wanted it to be? I just wanted you to have some fucking peace while you're up there in case you meet someone you really like. Someone better than me."

"But you said you wanted to give me something to believe in. I believed your every word."

He sighed again, "Maybe me giving you something to believe in, is to believe there is someone out there that's better for you. I've treated you like nothing, you deserve better."

"But ..."

"Just, be quiet. It's not gunna change what I think."

"Fine. We're not together then." I replied as I rolled my eyes. I don't understand this guy. I just don't.

"Ally. I'm just trying to protect your feelings."

"Fine. Can you get my case for me? I'm gunna be late."

He smirked gently and nudged the side of my face, "Of course."

We walked up to the airport, and it was crazy. Thousands of faces blurred past me as I checked in. I could feel my heart twisting as soon as the girl took my suitcase. All I had left was my purse. It really was time to leave.

Actually leaving though, was hard. I stood in front of Brent, in denial that my flight was called for me to check into security.  The tears were building up inside of me and I tried not to let them fall. But I knew I had to go. I had to let him go.

"Ally, it's a month like you said. It won't be long."

But what he didn't know, it could be more than a month.

"I know. I'm just terrified."

"You'll do great up there."

"Thank you. I'll call you when I land."

"I'd love that." He smiles at me.

"Goodbye, Brent."

"Goodbye, Ally."

He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug. My breath is shaky but the tears won't fall. My eyes were almost dry. Maybe this wasn't gunna hurt as much as I thought.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

chapter fifty-seven;

The next morning, I packed up all my stuff and waited for Brent in the lobby. I was still confused as hell about what went on the night before. Did he really mean that? All this back and forth was enough to give me a concussion of my own.

I looked up from my seat and saw Brent walk around the corner. I swallowed a lump in my throat as I noticed he was just in jeans an a t-shirt - considering it was pretty warm in LA today.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let's go."

"How's your head?"

"Pounding, but I feel better, now." He smirked, which caused me to roll my eyes.

Our flight back to Chicago was shockingly good. We made small talk every now and then, but I think he knew I still needed some space to deal with this. One second we hated each other, now we're kissing in a hotel hallway? It was too much.

I was beyond tired when we landed in Chicago. I hardly got any sleep last night. Brent and I took a cab back up to my apartment complex. I wanted to spend time with Brent tonight just in case he passed out or something. He followed me up to my apartment. I dropped my bags into the hall and headed straight for the kitchen.

"Wow this place is nice."

"Thanks. Steph and I were so lucky to find it."

He nods as he sits down on the couch. I found myself looking through all the mail Steph left for me on the counter. I had a lot of crap, but one envelope caught me off guard. It had a small blue maple leaf in the corner. My heart began to pound as I realized it was from the Toronto Maple Leafs. I had applied to them as a medic a week ago after not being able to handle being around Brent. I ripped it open quickly and read it with shaking hands.

Dear, Alyssa Keith.

We have received your application and copy of your degree last week. We were very pleased with your work and internship with the Kelowna Rockets. Please keep in mind that this isn't an easy process but a job opening has come about as one of our assistant medic's has taken maternity leave as she is due in the next two months. We will discuss your future with the team when the time comes, but as for now, it would be great if you could respond to us as soon as possible. When you do, our company will be more than pleased to pay for your transportation up to Toronto and housing expenses for the rest of the season.

Regards, the Leafs medical organization.

I froze.

I got the job.

I couldn't believe it. I got a job working for my childhood team. Toronto seemed so close to me that I could taste it. But what about Brent? If he really cared about me, he'd understand.

"What's that?"

"Uhm, maybe you should sit down for this."

He looks at me with concern as we both went over to the couch. I was shaking so much right now. I nervously run my fingers through my hair as he grabs my vacant hand. I could feel the tears clogging up my throat.

"Well you know how we've been at each others throats since the Olympics?"


"Well, one night, I was so mad that ..."

"That what? You can tell me babe."

"I applied for a job with the Leafs."

Silence hung in hair as he let go of my hand. Brent's facial expression dropped as he rubs the stubble on the side of his face. I wasn't sure how to react. I finally got him back, and I was leaving yet again. It's like I wasn't supposed to be with him, ever.

"Ally, are you kidding me? Why did you do that?"

"Cause I was upset and I wanted to get away from here."

"But, we're going to the playoffs soon. I want you to be there."

"Brent, you don't want me. You just think you do."

"You're not going!" He snapped.

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Ally, I'm sorry for everything that's happened before. But this is going to be a huge playoff run for us. The team needs all the medical help in the world."

"But this could boost my career too. Stop being so selfish."

"Oh, so you going off to Toronto isn't selfish?"

"No! It's only for a month anyway."

He suddenly grows interested, "What?"

"I'd only be filling in for a girl who had to leave. Plus Toronto's dead last in the league so they're season will be done next month."

He breathes a sigh of relief and hugs me. "Thank god. I didn't want you gone long."

I just nodded as the acid turned in my stomach. I'm not telling him that I had a chance to stay with the leafs next season too. He didn't need that. I didn't need that either.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

chapter fifty-six;

After the game, Brent had to get looked at again. Of course, I was given this job. I swallowed my pride and did what I had to do. He followed my finger with his eyes, and he did the same with a small flashlight. His eyes squinted and he put his head down.



"The spinning won't stop."

"Well, that's a good sign that you're actually showing symptoms." I replied as I passed him two more painkillers and a bottle of water.

"So what do I do now?"

"Fly back to Chicago, get checked on."

"I'm not leaving the team." He huffed.

"Sorry, but I'm a doctor and this is an order for you. You can't say no."

He smugly smirked before looking up at me, "You're not a doctor, you're a medic."

"Well, I'm the one with the medical diploma, and whatever I recommend, you have to agree to cause it's for your health."

"You just don't want me on this trip so you don't have to deal with me."

I threw my hands up in anger and turned away from him for a second. He was pissing me off. That was obvious. Sure, I didn't want him on the trip. But, I wasn't gunna send him back to Chicago for that one little reason. I mean, he was concussed. Of course I was doing what was best for him, I cared about him. I'll always care about him. Plus if he didn't get looked at properly, I'd have a lot of angry fans after me.

"Fine. I'll go get Mike and see what he has to say."

"Fine." Brent spat at me.

I just rolled my eyes in disgust and walked out into the hall. I found Mike, he was with Jonny. After they were done talking, I got the full load from Mike. He gave me a shit for coming to him to ask something like this. He said I should've done what my first intention was.

"I'm sorry but Brent is being so stubborn right now."

"Well, he's concussed. You'll fly back with him to Chicago and get him checked out."

"Uh. Me?"

"Someone has to fly back with him."

"Why me?"

"Ally ... it's your job dammit. I'm not running a fucking kindergarten class here."

I sighed, "Fine."

Well, that's just great.

I walked back into the dressing room to see Brent still sitting on the exam table. He didn't have a shirt on and his arms were crossed. I had to swallow the lump in my throat as his hair fell in front of his face. He finally noticed I was in the doorway. I shook away my thoughts and walked up to him.

"I talked to Mike, and he wants you to go back to Chicago tomorrow morning." I sighed, "by the way, you got me in trouble for asking that question. I hope you're happy."

"I didn't want to get you in trouble."

"Whatever. Pack your stuff. We're going home tomorrow."

His eyes widened as he looked at me, "We?"

"Medic watch. I'll make sure I don't sit near you on the plane."

"Well, that's great." He sarcastically replied.

"I hate it just as much as you."

Later the night after everything was all cleaned up, we took a bus up to LA for the kings game that was tomorrow night. It was 2am and I was tired. I just wanted to sleep. I slowly walked up to the elevator and saw Brent standing there, waiting for the elevator.

"Oh. You again."

"Just don't talk to me." I snapped.

I hit the button for the 7th floor and he hits the 9th floor. I place my head on the mirror as it starts to go up, but then a huge jerk jolted the elevator and it got stuck.

You have got to be kidding me.

Brent pulls out his phone and mumbles something about having no service. I check my phone, just my luck, neither do I.


I sat down on the floor of the elevator and Brent did the same. We were both on other sides. I kept my knees close to my chest and fiddled with my nails as I prayed for a miracle. This was beyond awkward.

"Ally ..."


"I talked to Duncan after the 3rd period."

"Congrats, so did I."

"He said you were crying after I got hit."

I froze and dropped my hands to my sides, "Fine. So maybe I was."

"Ally ... do you care about me still?"

"Do you want to me stroke your ego or something?"

"I'm asking an honest question, I'll answer you back."

"Of course I do. I care about you as a person and your well being. I've just been all over the place with my emotions right now, it doesn't mean what you think it means."

"Well, I still care about you, a lot."

"That's nice."

"Ally ..."

"Stop saying my name, please. It's bringing back too much."

"Sorry." I roll my eyes, but his voice makes me freeze yet again, "Ally, if you think I'm gunna hurt you the way I did before, you're wrong. I realize the huge mistake I made. I just want you to be mine forever."

"It's too late for that, and that girl ..."

" ... was a friend from highschool. She got the wrong impression when I asked her out. You can ask my brother, he's known her just as long as I have."

I wasn't sure what I wanted to believe right now. I just wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to lay against his chest, and feel the beat of his heart jumping through his shirt as I closed my eyes. But I knew that couldn't happen. I couldn't be with him again. I'll just be all over the place again.

"How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Because it's the truth."

"Brent, I can't go through that again ..."

"Oh right, you have Jonny."

"I don't. Jon and I agreed it wasn't gunna work with everything that's happened."

"Well then please give me another shot."

I scoffed as his suggestion,  "I can't."

"Ally, I want to give you something real, something you can believe in. Something I never gave you before. I love you."

I could feel tears filling my eyes as I looked at him, "So what am I supposed to do? Fall into your lap, take the ring back and everything is back to normal?"

"No, I wouldn't expect you to do that. I just want just to be on friendship terms for now, and if you don't want to give me another shot. I swear I'll leave you alone."

I was over analyzing everything in my head. Maybe we just needed clean slate. Forget the past. I still loved him with everything I had, but, maybe being friends and possibly making it something more will be a good start.

"I'd like that."

As I say that, the elevator starts moving again. Brent's eyes are shining like diamonds as we make eye contact. A small smile is placed on his face and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. We both got up off the floor at the same time as the elevator got off at my floor.

"I'll phone you tomorrow about our flight. We probably won't be able to get anything until the afternoon."

"Alright, just let me know. Ally, I meant what I said."

"So did I."

"Okay. Goodnight."


I turned my face towards him yet again and I'm met with his electric eyes. His hands find my waist and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. It suddenly flooded my mind with all the good things we used to have. I clasp onto his arms as I want more out of the kiss. I realize what I'm doing as I run my hands through his hair and my body is screaming for air.

"Oh my god."

Brent heavily breathes and I can feel it on my neck as he pushes my hair from my face. My breath is beyond shaky as I watch him touch the side of my face.

"I bet Jonny can't do that." He whispered into my ear.

"No. Not at all." I whimpered.

For another moment, he pulls me into his chest. At this point, he's running his hands through my hair and I can feel an outpour of tears wanting to fall. But I kept them in. I silently hear him whisper something into my ear, making me realize it was our song from last summer.

"The words came out, I kissed your mouth, no 4th of july as never burned so brightly, you had to go, I understand, but you promised you'd be back again. So I'll wonder around this town, until summer comes around."

Brent leans over and gently kisses my forehead, "Goodnight Ally."


I looked up into his eyes and couldn't hold back my smile. I finally let go of him and walked into my room. My head pulled in 5000 different directions. What just happened?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

hey guys!

I just wanted to ask you guys a hugeeeeeeee favour! I started a new story. Something different and I was hoping - since you've been positive with this story - that you could follow my new one. This doesn't mean I'm not writing this one anymore, cause my new one isn't blackhawk related, but I hope that doesn't mean you won't read it. It would mean a lot to me, cause I'm actually excited for this one. Thank you!

Friday, October 29, 2010

chapter fifty-five;

 Shit, I'm sorry I haven't updated this in forever, I hope this subsides for now :)

You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time, but I never thought I'd live to see it break. It's getting dark, and it's all too quiet, and I can't trust anything now, and it's coming over you, like it's all a big mistake. I'm holding my breath, I won't lose you again. Something's made your eyes go cold. Come on, don't leave me like this, thought I had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted. Can't turn back now I'm haunted. I just know, you're not gone ... you can't be gone

About a couple weeks had flown by and I was working for the team. I had to admit, it wasn't easy seeing Brent almost everyday. It was hard. I felt haunted everytime our eyes would accidentally lock. But I had a job to do. I had to get over it. He was over it. It's done. Next chapter.

My friend Stephanie ended up getting into Columbia for college and we were lucky enough to get ourselves a condo downtown Chicago. It wasn't far from the Arena, or her school, and it wasn't far from Jonny either.

Ah, Jonny. About him.

Jon and I were taking things really slow this time. He knew I was hurt, and I didn't want him thinking I was jumping to him cause Brent left me again. He gave me space. I really needed time alone for once. Give myself some time to breathe properly. Focus on work and get myself back to normal.

Me? Normal? Like that will ever happen.

It was now the middle of March and the hawks we're on a roadtrip. We were heading to Anaheim, LA and Phoenix. This would be my first big challenge as a medic. I wasn't supposed to go on this trip, but one of the other medic's fell sick, so I was next in line.

During the game against Anaheim, there was a nasty play. Something I'd never wish on anyone. James Wiznewski committed about 5 different penalties on a hawk player. Charging, roughing, boarding, interference, unsportsmanlike conduct. I couldn't see who it was just yet. But when I heard someone yell to the bench, I felt like I was gunna be sick.

It was Brent.

I saw him lying lifelessly on the ice. My stomach fell deeper and I just wanted to pass out. I blinked back my tears as I watched the other medics go over and help him. They wouldn't let me go out there. I had to get held back by Sharp as I tried to get on the ice.

"Why, can't I go out there? WHY AREN'T YOU LETTING ME OUT THERE?"

"Ally, stop. They're the professionals."

"And what? I'm not?"

"Just calm down. He'll be okay."

"But what if he isn't?" I whispered.

"He will. They'll bring him back over to the bench, okay?"

I just nodded and went down the runway into the dressing room to get myself back together. The tears wouldn't stop falling. What if he had a concussion? Was he gunna be okay? Why was I so worried?

I wiped my face and walked back out onto the bench. He was sitting at the end getting looked at. I breathed a sigh of relief as I slowly walked over towards him.

"Hey." I lightly said touching his shoulder with the full knowledge that he didn't feel it under his pads. He turned around slowly and his eyes looked glossy.

"Hey," It was a short response, his guard was up, and I knew why.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

"I could use some aspirin or something."

I opened up my pouch and fished out two tablets and passed them to him. My fingers gently grazed the palm of his hand, and I felt sparks. I tried my best to ignore it and focus on the game.

"I think you should stay out for the rest of the game."

"I'm fine."

"Are you kidding me? You aren't fine."

"Stop pushing me around."

"Oh, that's nice. I don't want you fainting and falling again."

"Why do you care? You have Jon."

"No I don't. I'm single, I'll have you know. Plus it's my job to make sure everyone is healthy to play."


"You're gunna have to get used to seeing me around here."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Why are you being like this?!" I snapped.

"Cause you ran into the arms of your trophy boy the second you saw me with that girl."

"Oh, so now I'm in the wrong?"

"Would you shut up? I'm partly concussed here!"

"Says the boy that wants to go out there and play again."

"By the fucking way, that girl was a friend from highschool. I never told her about you cause it never came up. I didn't know she liked me like that until you came over and acted like you were some fucking musical."

"Am I supposed to believe you?"

"I don't know. Should you?"

This fight wasn't going anywhere. I cursed to the rafters. Is this how it was gunna be everytime we saw each other. Cause if it was. I want out. I want to go to another city. I can't live like this.

Monday, October 4, 2010

chapter fifty-four ;

Remember when, you were my boat, and I was your sea? But that was back when we could talk about anything. Cause I don't know, who I am when you're running circles in my head. I say your name, and in the same breath. I say something, that I'll grow to regret. So it's true what they say, if you love someone you should set them free. Cause I don't know who I am, when you're sleeping with her, and if it's true what they say, you went and threw it away. 

After the national anthem's were sung, we all sat down. My heart was in my stomach as the boys skated up and down like crazy. The game was even sided, both teams getting huge chances. Luongo and Miller stood tall.  Jonny was on a line with Mike Richards and Rick Nash. They've had great chemistry with each other. About 10 minutes into the game, Mike Richards was strong on the forecheck and created a juicy rebound, and Jonny picked it up and it beat Miller short side. The entire arena exploded as the horn went off and we all stood up and screamed. He promised he'd score a goal for me, and he did.

As he skated past the section of seats I was in, he tapped his stick on the glass and looked me right in the eyes. He mouthed "that was for you." before he went back to the bench. He made my heart skip about 100 beats in that split second.

My eyes stung with tears as I watched the American's celebrate their goal. Canada was up 2-1, and with 25 seconds left in the 3rd period, Zach Parise scored the goal to tie it all up. Throwing the game into overtime. For something that was so close that I could taste it, suddenly felt so far away.

I slid my phone out of my pocket and quickly texted Jonny. I doubt he would check his phone at time like his, but it would be worth a shot.

"It was so close, but you know what? It's gunna be closer as soon as you step out onto the ice in 20 minutes. I believe you guys can do this. Good luck Jonny."

"I have faith we can do it, just keep believe in us out there. The American's don't want to go away easily, we'll show them who's game they're playing."

They did it.

They won gold.

I watched all them huddle in one corner as they celebrated. Sidney scored the winner for us. How fitted was that? The best Canadian hockey player in the league who had huge expectations weighing on his shoulders, scored the winner. They all hugged each other and some stood in awe. I watched from my seat as tears were filling my eyes. I looked all around the arena, I wasn't the only one with tear filled eyes. This was something special. Something I'll never forget.

The boys got their medals one by one. I screamed at the top of my lungs when Duncan got his medal. "That's my brother!" I yelled as some people high-fived me. Then it came to Johnny getting his. I cheered really loud as the medal sat perfectly against his body.

After O'Canada was sung, fireworks began to fly inside of the arena. I watched them burst into millions of little stars. It was beautiful. In the middle of them going off, I looked down at the boys, only to see Brent looking at me. I threw him a nasty glare as I walked away from my seat and towards the gate to wait for Jonny.

I waited outside the arena with Andree and David for Jonny. We were still wondering it was a dream. We won gold. The streets of Vancouver were crazy right now.


I turned around and saw Jonny. He was in black dress pants, a blue dress shirt, a black Team Canada jacket while his bright gold medal hung over his neck. He dropped his bag and sticks as I ran towards him. I was about a foot from him when I sprung myself into his arms. He pulled me close as I wrapped my legs around his waist. My entire body wouldn't stop shaking.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

"No, I was hoping you'd be disappointed," he sarcastically replied.

I chuckled and gently kissed him as I unwrapped my legs from him and landed back on the pavement. He longingly looked into my eyes as I tried to find the words to say. He slid his hand onto the side of my neck and brushed my jawline with his thumb as we kept our eyes locked. Honestly, I don't think words were enough for once. Jonny didn't seem to mind either.

02.28.10 ♥

chapter fifty-three;

I guess you really did it this time, left yourself in your warpath. Lost your balance on a tightrope. Lost your mind tryin' to get it back. Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything? And everybody believed in you? It's all right, just wait and see, your string of lights is still bright to me, Who you are is not where you've been ... you're still an innocent

I woke up the morning of the big game for the boys. I felt hurt still, like I needed motivation to simply get out of bed. I came out of the bathroom after I showered, did my hair in loose waves, and slid mascara onto my tired eyes. I could still see my wedding dress sitting over the chair in my room. My heart would always drop when I looked at it. It was like kicking a dead horse, it's just no use.

I put on jeans and a black team Canada Hoodie, stuffed my feet into my gray uggs before I walked down into the kitchen. I poured myself a coffee and grabbed one of the muffins my mom made off the counter before I headed outside onto the deck. It wasn't cold outside. It was really sunny and it felt like fall, not the end of February.

I heard the porch door creak open and my mom came outside. I don't think she realized I was awake. I didn't look over at her as she sat down, I kept my eyes fixated on my phone.

"Your father told me what happened last night."

"Did he?"

"Yeah. He said you weren't in the greatest shape."

"Yeah well, it's what you wanted. I'm not marrying him."

"Stop trying to make me look the bad one here. I was only trying to protect you."

"Whatever. It's done. It's over now." I spat at her before I grabbed my phone and keys and headed towards my car.

I find my ticket as I waited to get into hockey canada place. I was so nervous. I can't imagine how Jonny felt right now. I finally walk into the arena and I'm just mesmerized by what I see. It was like a huge sea of red. The odd USA jersey here and there, but mostly Canadians. My heart begins to race as I see the boys step out onto the ice for warm up. My seat is 5 rows up from the ice. The boys are skating around, shooting pucks towards Luongo, and setting up passes for other players. I see Crosby, Niedermayer, Getzlaf, Perry, Iginla, Richards, Staal, Duncan, and Brent - feeling my breath jump into my throat when I saw him. Still no sign of Jonny.


I look around for the face to match the thick French Accent, and I see it's Jonnys mom, Andree. I warmly smile at her as I walk closer. Also saying hello to Jonny's brother, David.

"How are you?"

"I've been better. But I'm here for Jonny and my brother."

"I'm sorry. Jonathan told us what Brent did. He seemed like such a sweet boy."

"I know. He makes himself seem like he's innocent."


I hear Jon's voice. I knew it was his right away. He's standing on the ice, but he was leaning on the bench. I run over, and climb over the bars. Jonny yells at the security guard that I was with him so I could step onto the runway and over to the bench. I'm now at ice level with Team Canada, this was amazing. I see looks from people. I don't care. Jonny slides his glove off and intertwines our fingers together as our eyes meet.

"I didn't think you'd actually show up."

"Are you crazy? I came here for you and Duncan. No one else."


I see Duncan skate up behind Jonny. I gave him a good luck hug before he skated off again. I'm smiling like an idiot at this point. In the middle of my smile, I see Brent stare at me. I ignore it as I look back over at Jonny.

"Ally, I'm glad you're here. Can you do me a favour?"

"What's that?" I smile.

"Cheer for me so loud that I can hear you."

"Fine. Under a few conditions."

He smirks this time, "What?"

"Score a goal for me, play like it's the last game of your life, and kick some major American ass please, I am tired of hearing Kaner gloat about how we supposedly 'can stop his hustle'" I say with finger quotes.

He gently laughs as his cute smile appears, "I can totally do that for you. Anything else?"

"Kiss me."

He wrapped his hand around my neck and gently pressed his lips to mine. I feel a tingle in my body as his lips move with mine. I still needed him. A part of me always loved him.

I pull away cause I'm desperate for air. As I breathe deeply, Jonny tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear as he brushes my cheek.


It happened so fast. I see Brent skate over to the bench and shove Jonny to the ground. At this point, I'm screaming at Brent to get off Jonny as they wrestle on the ice, and I yell for Getzlaf to come pull Brent off Jonny.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"You fucking prick, you just waited for me to fuck up so you can get Ally again."

"Gee,  maybe if you didn't fuck up again, this wouldn't of happened."

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" I yell. "You fucking hurt me Brent. I'm completely done with you now. It's over. Leave Jonny alone. Just get the hell out of my life for good."

"But ..."


"What the hell's going on here?" Coach Bobcock said.

"People being immature." I replied.

"Seabrook, you're lucky if I play you in this game. You're already only getting 5 minutes of ice time, I'd hate to cut that in half."

"Fine. It won't happen again."

"Good. Now everyone back into the dressing room and stop acting like a bunch of immature fucks. Remember why we're here. We got a nation to play for. If that's not important, then get the hell off my ice. Do I make myself clear?" Coach yells before he heads into the dressing room.

I watched everyone walk back into the dressing room. I kept my eyes on my feet the whole time. As everyone left, I looked up at Jonny again.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop being sorry. It's not your fault. I'll take every punch he gives me if it's for you."

"Really?" I stuttered.

"Of course. I should go back."

"I know. Good luck Jonny."

"Thanks again for coming back."

"JUST GO!" I laughed pushing him towards the room.

I headed back to my seat with only one thing on my mind.


It will be ours tonight. Nothing was in our way. Nothing

Thursday, September 30, 2010

chapter fifty-two;

When lies become the truth, that’s when I run to you
This world keeps spinning faster into a new disaster
so I run to you, I run to you baby
and when it all starts coming undone
Baby you’re the only one I run to, I run to you

I couldn't even drive myself home. My body felt so weak and my stomach was killing me. I still couldn't cry. I was enraged. I didn't know what to do. My fiancee, was having dinner with another girl. It didn't just look like some dinner between friends thing, the way he looked at her, and the way she smiled back. It meant more. I could tell.

Like I said. I'm done with him this time. So done.

I finally got the strength to get into the car and I drove Sidney back over to the athletes village. I slid the key out of the ignition and stared out the window. I felt like someone abused me, but kept me alive for their own amusement. Sidney didn't budge from his seat even though I really wanted him to leave so I could just go home and sleep.

"Ally. Are you gunna be okay?"

"I don't know anymore. It seems like he made up my mind for me. One less thing to worry about."

"Alright. Well, you should talk to someone you can confide in. You shouldn't be alone right now."

"There's only one person I want to see." I sighed, "and that's Jonny."

"Well come inside. I'm rooming with him anyways."

In the back of my mind, all I could hear was Brent's words - go back to jonny, you slut.

"Okay, lets go."

I got out of the car and locked it. I could feel my heart pouding as we walked inside. I felt everyones eyes on me. We were getting closer to Sidney's room. He slid out a cardkey from his pocket and unlocked the door. I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Jon, someones here to see you."

"It's like midnight, who the hell --"

He came around the corner and saw me. That's all it took for me. One look into his eyes and my emotions flooded me. My eyes were filling up with tears and Jon bolted right towards me and pulled me close. It got to the point that I was hysterically crying into his chest. He gently placed his hand on the side of my face and kissed the top of my head.  My entire head was spinning and I felt like I could've fainted. I finally pulled away from him and he wiped my tears away with his thumb. My chest rose rapidly as Jonny gently cupped both sides of my face as his midnight like eyes looked into mine.

"Ally, what happened?"

"Brent. I caught him having dinner with another girl."

"That son of a bitch." Jon snapped as he dropped his hands from my face. "What is wrong with him?"

"I wish I knew. I really did." I sniffed.

"You don't deserve that, Ally. Ugh, if we weren't competeing for gold tomorrow, I'd rip his fucking throat out right now."

"There's no point getting mad over it. It's not worth it anymore."

"See, that's your problem, Ally. You let go of everything he does way too easily. It's not right how you let him walk over you like you have. First it was him getting pissed over a mistake you made years ago, to dating a girl then leaving her for you again. Did he really think he'd win you over by getting you an engagment ring? Did he have it that easy?"

"How long have you been keeping that in?" I muttuered.

"Way too fucking long."

I snorted and crossed my arms out of anger, "Jon, I didn't come here to bicker with you."

"I know. Dammit, I know that. I'm sorry. Are you still coming to the game tomorrow?"

"I don't know ..."

"I want my best friend there, please."

"I'll think about it."

Jonny stepped closer to me and gently rubbed my shoulder, "Don't beat yourself up over it. If you show up it just proves that you're stronger than hiding from him. Don't forget that your brothers on the team too."

"I know. Fuck. I'll go, okay."

He smiled gently at me and I felt butterflies in my stomach again. Stop doing that please.

"Jon, can I ask you something?"


"Why do you bother putting up with me?"

He raised his eyebrow and stared bewilderingly at me, "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

I drew in a sharp breath and furrowed my eyebrows, "I knew that you still loved me, and, I thought you were gunna hate me forever after I married Brent. But, since that's not happening now, I was suprised you didn't push me away when I came back to you."

"I'd never push you away. You mean too much to me. You'll always have a special place in my heart. I'm always here for you."

"Good, cause, after everything that's happened, I just wanted to run to you." I confessed as more tears filled my eyes.

"You always can run to me. But what's gunna happen now? Are you coming back to Chicago?"

"I have to. I have a job with the team."

"Well, my doors always open for you. You know that."

"Thank you Jon."

There was that smile again. He enveloped me into a hug again. I took in his scent as I closed my eyes. Maybe with Jon here, I could resurface from this all.

chapter fifty-one;

I always knew this day would come, we'd be standing one by one, with our future in our hands, so many dreams so many plans. I never thought that I'd walk away. It's so hard to say goodbye. I'll always remember you

I slammed the front door shut and went into my car again. I drove and drove till I found the ocean. I sunk lower into the seat and started sobbing into my hoodie sleeve. I was thrown a crossroad, and I didn't know which road to take. Keep my mothers loyalty and lose the man I love, or marry him and lose my mother forever.

After I sulked for another hour, I turned the car around and went back downtown. The city was painted with the lights and sounds of the olympics. I'd miss how Vancouver looked after the Olympics are over. It was so beautiful.

I picked up a hot chocolate from Starbucks in Granville before I went for a walk along the peir. The winter wind crept up behind my neck and made me shiver. As I reached the end of the pier I saw someone else leaning against it. The closer I got, the closer I noticed it was Sidney.


He turned around and slightly smiled at me. I headed towards the edge of the peir and leaned on it too.

"What brings you out here?" I asked.

"I can't sleep. I'm beyond nervous for tomorrow."

"I know. Brent was really standoffish today. I can't imagine what you're feeling."

"You sound miserable."

"I am." I sighed as his eyes begged me to continue, "My mom, she doesn't like Brent. I guess while I was with you guys earlier, she found my wedding dress."

"Did she get mad?"

"She freaked. She told me to break it off, or she'd practically disown me."

"That's a bit harsh. Can't she see that you love him?"

"You don't know my mom. If she doesn't like something, everyone has to suffer."

"So, what are you going to do?"

I sighed as tears filled my eyes, "I have no idea."

Sidney moved closer to me and slipped his arm around my back. I turned around and buried my head into his chest. The tears were slowly escaping me yet again.

"Ally, I'm sorry. I know I hardly know you, but you deserve to be happy. Everyone does."

I just nodded as he pulled me closer to him. My breathing was becoming calm again and my tears finally stopped, but my heart was aching.

"I'm sorry." I said as I wiped my eyes.

"Don't worry about it. Are you going to be okay for now?"

"I think so." I sighed, "You know I always admired you for your passion of the game, I just never thought one day you'd be a shoulder to cry on."

He gently smirked, "Kinda funny how that works out, eh?"

I nodded as I felt a rumbling in my stomach. I was starving. It was 10 o'clock at night and I hadn't eaten anything except two coffees and one hot chocolate. No wonder my head was pounding.

"Sid. I'm starving, I haven't eaten anything today. Do you wanna join me? If not, it's fine."

"No. I'd love to. Maybe getting out of this fresh air will help me feel sleepy."

We walked back to towards Granville. It was silent, but I think he needed time to think about tomorrow. I just liked the company that he was near. That I wasn't alone right now. I sometimes scare myself when I'm alone.

After walking for another 20 minutes we settled on a small Italian restaurant. The music, the smells, and the warmth made me feel more comfortable. I ordered a mushroom ravioli and a coke to drink and Sid got a vegetarian lasagna and water.

"So, you said you had a girlfriend?"

"Well, kinda. It's complicated."

"I think I can handle it."

"She's my first serious girlfriend I've had since junior. I mean, she's amazing, but she's so hot and cold."

"What do you mean?"

"She has a job in Chicago, out of all places. So she has to go there on weekends, then she comes back to Pittsburgh during the week. But with my schedule sometimes we miss each other if I'm on the road. One week she's all happy then the next she makes it sound like I'm not good enough. She always ends our fights with wanting to just live into Chicago, I just wish I had to the guts to tell her just to stay there cause I'm sick of the shit she bickers about."

"She's crazy. Sid, I'm sorry."

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, since I've been away from my team, and the city, and her. I just think it's time I ended it. I need to finally do it."

I mirrored his sad expression and gently placed my hand over his, "If that's you need to do to get some clarity, than do it. I've been down that road before."

"Oh yeah?"

"I briefly dated Jon, and he let me go. It hurt, but it needed to be done."

He smirked, "I thought you and Jon looked cute together yesterday."

I began to blush. Jon. He wasn't the easiest subject with me. I always felt like a billion butterflies were attacking my stomach and my whole body was shaking when he was around. I had to get rid of that feeling.

Finally our food came and we eat in peace. I was starving and it didn't take me long to polish off my plate. Our eyes locked as I took a much too big gulp of my coke. I had to admit, he had gorgeous eyes. After we finished, he argued with me on who was going to pay. I wanted to cause it was my idea to get food, but he said he would.

As we were getting ready to leave, I saw someone way to familiar sitting on the other side of the restaurant. He sat close to her, his hand was over hers. Her eyes were warm as she smiled up at him. Then I felt like my stomach lurched deeper than it did earlier.

It was Brent.

"I don't fucking believe this." I hissed as I stormed over to the table.


Brent looked like he saw a ghost as he stared at me, "Shit."

"Who the hell are you?" The girl snapped.

"I asked you first, bitch."

"Well, I'm Danica, you?"

"I'm Ally. I'm Brent's fiancee."

"You're engaged?" Danica snapped as she glared at Brent.

"He was engaged." I finally said.

Brent looked up at me as empathy glazed his eyes, he had this look that made me feel like I shattered his world. I couldn't even cry, I was so angry.

"Ally, don't."

"NO! My mother was right about you. Enjoy your fucking life." I yelled so loud that the entire restaurant stared at me. "And enjoy your fucking medal tomorrow. I'm sure Danica will gladly celebrate with you."

"I'm sorry ..."

"I don't care."

With that, I slid the ring over my finger and threw it at him.

"Fine. Run back to Jonny, like you always did."

"At least Jonny never hurt me like you have."

"Fuck. I don't even care you slut."

"Fuck you."

This time. I was done. I was so done.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Chapter fifty;

Two weeks had flown by since I went to new york to get my wedding dress. Things were going great. Canada was playing the US in the gold medal game. I was nervous since the USA were a powerhouse team and beat Canada in the preliminary round last Sunday. We'll see how this goes.

I was having Coffee with Sharpie in the athletes village as the boys went to a practice. Even though Patrick didn't make Team Canada, he came up to support the team when he found out Canada advanced to the gold medal game.

"Is this game ever gunna get here?"

"I know. It's tomorrow at noon, and it feels like it's miles away. " I sighed.

"I can't imagine how Brent feels."

"I know." I replied as I wrapped my hands around my coffee cup. "He wasn't talkative this morning."

"That's not like him. He never keeps his trap shut."

"That's what I was thinking. I don't think I can deal with seeing him upset if they lose."


I chuckled, "Fine. I'll stay positive."

Just then, the boys started to walk into the dining hall. I saw Sidney Crosby walking behind Brent. I just shook it off ... until they walked right up to us.

"Hey. How was practice?" Patrick asked.

"Brutal. I'm starving though. Sid do you want anything?"

"Maybe just some Sushi. My stomachs in knots."

"Sure thing." Brent replies as he walks away and Sid sits right next to me.

"So, Sid. This is Ally. The girl I told you about."

"OH! The photo that I signed?"

"Yep. She's a huge fan."

"Patrick. I'm right here." I muttered.

"Oh adur. Yeah, Sid, she's Brent's fiancee. Don't even try pulling any moves on her. Trust me, I tried."

Sid just laughed smoothly, "It's okay. I have a girlfriend anyway. Nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Same here. Well, I knew what you looked like, but you know. Wow I sound so stupid right now." I stuttered as my face burned up.

Our eyes connected as my heart stopped mid-beat. I looked away quickly and pretended that I was looking for Brent. I could not get the flush in my cheeks to cool down.

Brent finally came back over and him and Sid ate their food as Duncan, Johnny and Chris Pronger joined us. They all started talking about the game tomorrow, to lighten to the tension. I kept silent and just intently walked them talk. It was amazing that they suddenly became the closest of friends, but it wouldn't be that way in the matter of two days.

I went home right after that cause Brent wanted some down time. I was okay with that. He wanted his space to get ready for the game tomorrow. I drove home slowly, and got there in time for the final event of the night. I think it was skiiing. I think.

"Hey, mom, what's ..."

I stopped in my tracks as I saw my mom sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. My dad staring at me with sympathy. I felt my stomach lurch as I looked over onto the other couch to see my wedding dress lying on it.


"HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME?" My mother screamed as she got off the couch and walked towards me.


"Alyssa Gabriella Rae Keith. You don't talk to me like that!"

"I'll talk to you however I want to cause I've been bottling it up for far too fucking long."

"I won't let you marry him!"

"You can't stop me! I'll be 23 by the time it happens."

"Well then I guess I'm not your mother than."

I slapped her. I couldn't stand it right now. My rage was boiling up. Who the hell was she to tell me what I couldn't do? And give me an ultimatum like that? That's emotional blackmail.


"Maybe it's a fucking wake up call. Mom. I love him, and I want to marry him. He means everything to me."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "what the hell is that in your mouth?"

"Oh that?" I asked as a stuck out my tongue, "That is a tongue ring."

"A what?"

"A tongue ring! How else can I say it, I don't speak no other fucking languages."

"Fuck it then. Marry him, but don't expect me to be there."

"Mom. Don't do that to me."

"You either break it off with him, or I'll do it for you."

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

chapter fourty-nine;

Maybe it's the words you left unsaid. Maybe it's the stardust in my head. Oh, I just wanna tell you, that my heart is busting at the seams. I can't wait another minute. Life is short, love is sweet. Ain't not time like this time, baby.

"Ally. Don't listen to her. You're perfect for Brent. She's a fucking idiot."

Taylor came back into the room and comforted me while my consultant went to look for dresses. Taylor was right. She had no right telling me it was too soon for me and Brent to get married. I want to marry him, and goddamnit, I will.

"Okay, here's the first one."

She pulled out an ivory colored one, it had no fluff on the bottom, with a violet wrap underneath my chest. I didn't like it already.


I turned around and stared at my laptop, Sharpie is now sitting beside my brother. They're skyping with me while I tried my dresses on, and Taylor had my Dad on her laptop. 

"OH, great, he's here." I sighed throwing my tank top over my laptop so they couldn't see me. I heard Patrick whine as I got my dress tied up. I hated it.

"No, it's not what I wanted."

I got out of the dress and put on another one, it was strapless, silk, champagne coloured with gems on the corset. Now we're talking.

"That's gorgeous." Taylor whispered.

"Well, Daddy, what do you think?"

"It's alright."


"Well, what do you think?"

"I hate it."

"Wow thanks."

"I love it though." Duncan casually commented.

"Thank you! Okay this could be a yes."

I looked at the other ones she had. One was too poofy. One was too tight. One was cleavage central, which of course, Patrick loved. Another one felt like I was wearing a fucking bed comforter. I was getting annoyed. I was on dress 10, and I cursed to the sky. This was taking longer than I wanted.

"God, this boring. I can't believe you all have to go through this. With us, we just pick the cheapest tux, and if it looks good, we take it." Patrick said.

"It's different for a girl though." I sighed as I sat in a silk bathrobe while the consultant went looking for more dresses.

"You'll find one, Ally. Just calm down." Patrick calmly replied. I stared at my laptop screen and into his green eyes. I hope he was right.

"Okay, so I did find one, but it's a little over your $7,000 budget"

"How much?"


"WHAT? I CAN'T BUY IT! I won't let Brent spend that much on me. He said $7,000."

"Try it on, Ally. It's gorgeous!" Taylor exclaimed.

I crawled into the dress and closed my eyes as they tied it up for me. As I flickered my eyes open, I felt tears in my eyes. It was exactly what I wanted.

"Oh my gosh, Alyssa. You look beautiful." My dad gasped as the consultant tucked a veil into my ponytail.

"Yeah, Ally, you look incredible." Patrick said.

"GOD MY SISTER IS GROWING UP AND I HATE IT!" Duncan whined as I laughed.

"I can't get it. It's too much."

"No, it's not." Patrick quickly said.


"I'll put something towards it."

"Patrick, I can't let you ..."

"Shut up, I'm paying for $3,000 of it."

"I'll put $3,000 towards it too." Duncan added.

"I'll put $2,500 towards it. It's for your wedding after all." My dad said.

"Wow, you guys. Thank you." I replied as I started to cry.

"It's gorgeous." Taylor said as her own tears filled her eyes.

"So this is it?" The consultant said.

"Yes it is! I mean, you only get married once."

"That's not true!"


Here's the dress!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

chapter fourty-eight ;

On the edge of something real. I have a choice, but I don't know what to feel. Getting tired of all this fear. Before I choose, let me know that you'll be here. Cause I'm not afraid to fall if you're the one who catches me. Tell me that you'll be there when I'm about to lose it all. Cause you're the one who helps me see that sometimes it's okay to fall.

It was 5 am on the day that Taylor and I were heading to New York. I couldn't sleep. I felt nervous. I felt like a terrible daughter cause my parent's didn't know the real reason why I was going. I sat on the porch as I drank a coffee, looking out onto the lake. The lake where Brent first kissed me.

I heard the french patio door open and close. I looked up, it was my dad. He smiled at me as he sat down with his own cup of coffee. We were silent for a while, but the truth was bugging me. I couldn't hold it in much longer.

"Dad, how do you really feel about Brent?"

"He's a great guy, makes the biggest jackass moves I've ever seen in my life. I guess we all do. He's a great kid, hard work ethic, he seems to treat you right. Well, now he does."

I grew uncomfortable. "Dad, I don't need to be reminded of him leaving me. It haunts him enough at is. It haunts us all."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just, you're my little girl and I want you to have your happily ever after. You deserve it."

I nodded as I bit back my smile, "So can I tell you something, and you can not tell Mom, okay?"

"You know I keep all your secrets. What is it this time?"

"Well, you know how I got in that accident? It's cause I was confused after I left Brent's house. I was still with Jonny at the time, but it didn't feel right. Brent kissed me with this fire I never felt before. Jon let me go the next morning after my accident, and Brent was there for me until I got released from the hospital on Christmas Eve. Brent gave me the greatest gift I could've ever asked for on Christmas."

"What was that?" he asked as he bewilderingly looked at me.

"He ... uhm ... proposed to me."

There was a thick silence in the air for a moment. It bothered me, but I did feel better knowing he knew the truth. He was more understanding than my mother was ... by a fucking long shot. I knew if that was her sitting in that chair, she would've pounced off of it, killed me, than ran off to plot Brent's death.

"I think that's ... great!"

My eyes widened, "Really?"

"Yes! Both my kids are getting married. Is that why you're going to New York?"

I nodded as I stared to smile like an idiot, "It was all Taylor's doing, but Brent and I are serious. We were going to wait a few years before we got married, but .. you know how him and Dunc are. How close they are with each other."

"So it's a double wedding?"

I nod, "If I knew any better, I'm sure Brent would turn around and marry Duncan instead."

My dad began to chuckle, and so did I. I couldn't get over how well he took it. We said our goodbyes and Taylor came and picked me up. After a 6 hour flight from hell, we were in New York. I didn't even have to time to admire the city, cause as soon as we were off the plane, we went right to Kleinfeld.


I turned around and I saw a smaller women in her mid 50's standing near me. "Yes?"

"Hi. I'm Linda. I'll be your consultant today."

"Hi, nice to meet you."

We shook hands as we walked through the halls where all the dressing rooms were. I brought my Macbook with me so I could go on Skype and show my Dad all the dresses since he couldn't be here. Oh, and Dunc wanted to see which one I picked too.

"So tell me about your fiancee."

"Well, his name is Brent Seabrook, he's a professional hockey player. He's 25, and he's everything to me. We've had our ups and downs, but we're finally at a place where we know what we want. Sorry, I'm rambling." I blushed as I bit my lip.

"It's okay. So, how long have you to been together?"

"We were together for a month in the summer, then we split up, then we got back together two months ago."

She raised her eyebrow, "You've only been together 3 months?"

"It's a long story. He's my brother's best friend."

"Wow. When are you getting married?"

"August 10th."

"This is quite a commitment to make when you've hardly been together."

"Yeah, but --"

"No, I'm sure you two are fine. Now what kind of dress are you looking for?"

I couldn't even make a sentence. I didn't know if I wanted to cool my jets, and rip her fucking head off. It shouldn't matter how long we've been together. I want him, always. This bond means forever, and that's what both of us want. Do you think we would've went through all this shit for no reason? No. When you go from being madly in love, to spilling secrets, to falling into a deep depression, to almost dying, to being happily engaged. I'm sure that means that you were meant to be together. This marriage meant starting over and forgetting everything. Forgetting my mistakes, forgetting Helen, and most of all ... forgetting Jonny.

"Uhm. I want strapless, cinderella style, with a jeweled corset, and I'm in love with that feather kind of bottom. Perferably Vera Wang."

"Okay, so what's your budget?"

"I don't know. Brent, and his mom, and my dad are paying for it."

She fake smiles at me as she sugar coats her words. Honey, you've got 'I work on commission here, so I'm just going to lie about everything' tatooed on your head. She grabs the pictures I printed out and stands up, getting ready to leave the dressing room before she looks over at me.

"I'm surprised both of your parents approve of this on such short commitment for you guys. That's great!"

I sit back in my chair and hit my head on the wall. Shit. When she puts it like that, it does feel rushed. What if Brent and I had another fall out after we married? It will be a bigger mess then. We would get through it like we did now? Wait, was she making me second guess myself?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

chapter fourty-seven ;

After my little moment with Jonny, he got a ride with my dad to go to the game tonight. I wasn't really in the mood to go. My parents would be there. They'd probably kill me if I was within a two foot radius of them.

"I have some news for you. It's good news too." Taylor says.

"What's that?"

"My dad had a billion flyer miles he needed to get rid of, so I'm going to New York to go to Kleinfeld. I still don't have a dress."

"You don't?"

"Nope. Plus. I'm gunna need a maternity one." She groans, pushing her coffee away from her. "You are coming with me."

"I am not. I've already pissed my parents off enough. Buying a wedding dress would throw them over the edge."

"Too bad. I already booked an appointment for you."


"Fine. We better not be missing the Olympics."

"No. We're going next week for two days. No big."

She just smiled and pulled me by the arm. She was taking me to the Hawks game whether I liked it or not. I really needed someone like her around. She always pushed me into things I didn't want to do, but I ALWAYS felt better after doing them. I'd probably be sitting in front of the TV crying, while eating ice cream as I watched the game. We made a quick stop at tim hortons before we headed downtown. Really. I was going dress shopping in a week. I wasn't ready for this.

"I don't even have a budget. HELL, I don't have any money to buy a dress. It's all down the drain with college."

"You think you're paying for this dress? Get real. Brent will pay for it. Plus, your dad likes Brent. I'm sure he'll come around and help pay for it."

"If you say so."

About an hour later, and beating the normal rush hour traffic that was on Burrard street, we made it to the arena. I saw Brent and felt those butterflies attack my stomach, then I remembered the shit he pulled this morning. I moved my face when he went to kiss me.

"Ally, I'm sorry. I just can't stand him wanting you like a lost puppy."

"I know. I can't say I love it anymore than you do. Just don't do it again."

"I'll try my best. Once we get married, maybe he'll finally get the hint."

"Speaking of that. I'm going to new york next week with Taylor. We're going to look at wedding dresses with her parents."

"Wow, already?"

"I'm really serious about this. Without my parent's blessing or not. I'm spending the rest of my life with you."

"That's my girl." He beamed before he cupped the side of my face and feathering his lips over mine.

"We need to talk about money though. There is no way in hell I can afford a wedding dress."

"Relax. I'm paying for it. Oh, and my mom wants to put something towards it too."

I chuckle, "I haven't even met your mom."

"We're meeting her after the game, and my dad."

Ah, Shit.

The boys ended up winning the game 4-2 and brought them closer to first in the Western Conference. I kept away from my parents as much as I could. But of course, my mom hunted me down.

"Why did you lie to us?"

"Did you see your reaction this morning? That's why I didn't want to tell you."

"We'd find out sooner or later you were back with them."

"And I was going to tell you after the Olympics were over. Mom, I love him. Why do you think Jon let me go? He wanted me to be happy."

"He sure didn't look over you this morning."

"That's his problem. He knew all along I wanted Brent. Just like Duncan wants Taylor."

Her bright eyes looked up at me, they were mixed with confusion and disappointment. "That's different though."

"How? Cause they've been together for almost 8 years? That shouldn't matter. When your face lights up when they enter the room, or how you get when you hear their voice. That's what matters. When you love someone, you just know. That's how I am with Brent."

"I guess I have no choice to accept it then." She deeply sighs.

"That's all I want."

My mom pulled me into a hug. I felt a little better knowing that she knew I was with Brent. Too bad she didn't know the half part of it.

Friday, August 20, 2010

chapter fourty-six ;

comments please? I know. I'm stuck in a rut right now. I'm trying my best, I've written down a ton of ideas, I just have to piece them together. It will get better, I promise!

"I'm sorry Jon. You didn't deserve that."

"No, I did."

I sighed, taking the ice cube off his lip and passing him a cold facecloth. This always happened. Someone had to get hurt. Someone had to confuse me. Someone just had to go and mess everything up for me. It never fucking fails.

Duncan and Sharpie took Brent back to Vancouver right after the ceremony. I felt horrible, so I drove Jonny back to my parent's house to nurse him up, then we would drive to Vancouver right after.

"I just want this to stop." I sighed, twisting my fingers around the tassel on my grad cap.

His midnight eyes glanced over at me, causing my throat to tighten up a little bit, "What do you mean?"

"I just want everything to stop. I want to stop my parents from hating Brent. I want to stop another roadblock from keeping me from marrying Brent. I want you to stop loving me."

"You know what? I wish there was someone that would say stop to us when we need it the most. But there's no such thing, Ally. We do this shit to learn from it. No, I can not stop loving you. I wish there was someone who told me to stop when I let you go after your accident. I wish someone told you to stop before you said yes to marry Brent."

"Well what the fuck do you want, Jon!"

"I just want you."

My head shook as tears slowly formed in my eyes, blurring the vision of him in front of me, "That ... can't happen. I swore when you let me go last month, that this was all over."

"Well, I lied. I wanted what was best for you. But it made me miserable at best."

He was making me want to rip my hair out right now. I got off the couch and started to walk towards my room. I could feel him following me. I tried my best to ignore it, but it wasn't working.  I felt him clasp my sides, I started to shake as his forehead pressed gently into mine.

"Jon please ... don't make me choose."

"You shouldn't have to choose. Think about it - your parents love me, they accept our relationship. I never left you like Brent did. I couldn't imagine hurting you like that."

"You've already hurt me more than you know, Jon. That's the problem."

"I don't get it."

"You confuse the hell out of me. You make me second guess the man I love constantly. You're always on my fucking mind. I sometimes see you when I kiss him. You're something different, Jon. I can't put my finger on it. You're so different than you appear."

He suddenly smirks down at me, "Like what?"

"You watch Jersey Shore, you read Harry Potter, you write songs and play guitar, you talk like you're some psychologist half the time. Who the hell are you?"

"You tell me."

"There you go again. Using some metaphorical shit on me, making me think more than I should." I huffed as I heard him chuckle.

"You're too adorable."

"You're pushing your luck, Toe-ez"

This caused both of us to go into a giggle fit for a moment. Finally, a positive feel between the both of us. He pulled me close and tenderly pressed his lips to my forehead. In all honestly. What the hell was I supposed to do?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

chapter fourty-five ;




I sat in front of the mirror at a hair salon, watching the hair dresser curl my hair for me. My eyes were done up with gold eye shadow, false lashes, mascara, alonge pink lip gloss and bronzer.  My hair was finally set into perfect curls. I looked so together. But inside, I was slowly dying.

I hated lying to my mom. She knew nothing about Brent. Here I was, wearing his engagment ring to bed, and hiding it under my pillow in my room during the day. Leaving the house to phone him, lying that I was texting Jonny, but in reality, I was texting Brent. I did miss him. But this time apart was good. Made me realize there will be times when we were apart. It was healthy.

"Ally are you ready?"

I nodded as I zipped up my bright red grad gown. I placed the stupid cap on my head as we headed into the gym. Our two valedictorians stood up and talked about our last 4 years here, and how they would miss it. I rolled my eyes. I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of here.

My heart was beating in my throat as I heard my name get called. I stood up, I felt all their eyes falling on me as I went on the stage. The bright lights were blinding me. Seriously after 4 years of hell, these 30 seconds were the worst of the bunch. I shook my Dean's hand, camera's flashed everywhere as most of the gym clapped. I faked a smile as I glanced into my Dean's eyes before I headed back off the stage ... I swore I saw Brent in the crowd.

"Oh congrats sweetie!" My mom beams and she pulls me into a hug.

"Thanks mom."

"Good job, pookie." My dad says as he squeezes me.

"Thank you daddy. I'm just gunna go find Gina and Christina. They said they were here."

I wondered around and I finally saw them. They congratulated me with open arms. I couldn't believe it was all over. I was done. Brent was going to be here in a matter of 2 weeks. Then we were off to Chicago after the Olympics. Life was amazing right now.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, I was expecting it to be one of my professors or a classmate wanting to say goodbye. I turned around and I let out some unrealistic squeal. It was Brent. I jumped into his arms and he spun me around.

"What are you doing here?"

"Didn't you know we play the Canucks tonight?"

"Uhm, obviously not! I was just so busy with school. Wow. I can't believe you're here." I replied as I kissed his cheek.

"You think I'd miss my fiancee's graduation? Think again!"

"I love you baby."

"I love you too."

He puts me down and gently kisses me again. As I open my eyes, I see Johnny standing beside Brent. I run over and hug him. Brent leaves us alone cause Duncan and Sharpie were all also here, so he went to talk to them, and stay away from my parents as much as possible.

"Congrats Ally, this is quite an accomplishment."

"Coming from a boy who got arrested for partying in college, thank you." I chuckle.

"You'll never let me live that down, will you?"

"Not at all."

Jonny's smile drops as he reaches for my hand. He runs over my ring with the pad of his thumb. He looks diminished. I don't know why. He was the one that let me go.

"I can't believe you two are getting married."

"It's not gunna be for another year or two."

He just nods and lets go of my hand.

"Jon, what is this about?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"It's something. I can tell." I replied with tear-filled eyes. He wasn't budging. He was so fucking frustrating.

"Just drop it!" He snapped.

"Are you kidding me? Jonny, you look like something's killing you right now. What is it?"

He forcefully grabbed me and pressed his warm lips on to mine. A surge went from the tips of my toes to the crown of my skull in that split second. He was thrown off me and a punch was made across his face. I screamed in horror as Jon fell to the ground. Brent's calling him every name under the sun right now. I'm shaking. A crowd forms. He's really done it this time.

"BRENT STOP IT!" I screamed grabbing him off of Jon.

"What the fuck is your problem Tazer? Really? You two aren't together. We are!"

"YOU WHAT?!" My mom shrieked.

I looked over at her as the tears fell down my cheeks, "I'm sorry mom, I tried to tell you."

Just like that ... she wore every inch of disappiontment on her face as she turned around and left the now overpopulated crowd. It was silent. Over 300 people just saw my Fiancee beat up the man I once loved. Well you know what they say, when you got out, you have to go out in style.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

chapter fourty-four ;


I tossed my keys onto the coffee table and threw my coat off. Brent walks over and gives me a puppy look. Something that always makes me smile. I cross my arms and stare up at him. I really did want to spend the rest of my life with him. Even with all the fire flying around, just one look from him, and the spark was put out.

"What's wrong babe?"

"I told them about Jonny. But they think I'm single. I couldn't do it." I gulped back.

"It's okay. After the Olympics, we'll have to tell them, that we're together at least."

I nodded, "You're right. Thanks hun."

"That's what I'm here for." He replied before he pulled me into a hug. Making my frost-bitten cheeks suddenly burn a thousand degrees.

I felt my stomach drop into my stomach, my eyes started to fill with tears. It started off with a little sniffle, then a full out sobbingfest into Brent's t-shirt.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell is this? You're not allowed to cry."

"I can't help it. I want to be with you so badly, and no one wants me to. Plus I'm leaving tomorrow and I won't see you until you come to Vancouver for the Olympics. Which may I add, is a month and a half away."

"It's gunna work out. Just calm down okay." He chuckled as he wiped my tears away.

"Why is it ALWAYS a fucking episode of The Hills around here?"

I heard a thick Swedish accent behind me. I turned around and saw Nicklas Hjalmarson. My eyes are filled with questioning looks, my mouth was lying open. Why was he here?

"What is he doing here?"

"Uhm. Yeah. About him ..." This time, it was Christina who spoke up.

"I am so fucking lost right now."

"Let me spell it out for you. While you were so wrapped up in lying to your parents. I took your best friend out for breakfast and made her my girlfriend."

"Wow Nick, you're so kind with your words." I replied. "But really, hurt her, and I'll kill you."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I headed into the bedroom and began to pack all my stuff. I was trying my best not to cry. I hated leaving him. I slowly stuffed all my hoodies into the suitcase. I ended up plunking down onto the bed, grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it.

"Ally, are you okay?"

"Fuck everything right now. Seriously."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad." Christina laughed throwing one of my tank tops into my suitcase.

"You're one to talk. I didn't know you had a thing for Nick."

She began to blush at the sound of his name, "Yeah. I did. I met him last night. He's a sweetheart. He wants us to be together."

"Well, I say go for it. He's a sweetheart."

She hugs me, and leaves me alone to pack the rest of my stuff. I still feel empty as I notice all my clothes are off the hangers and packed away. I pick out my outfit for tomorrow, a simple pair of black yoga pants, white tank top and a red hawks hoodie.

"How the hell am I gunna pack all three of these Jersey's?" I mumbled.

"You could take one with you and leave two here. Or leave all of them." Brent shrugged.

"I'm not leaving all of them here. I plan to sleep in one every night. It's like a little part of you with me when I sleep."

"You still need to give me a private showing of these jerseys, you know ..."

"I don't think I know what you're talking about Mr. Seabrook." I giggled.

"Come on. Christina and Nick left with Gina. No one's here."


I grabbed his home jersey and went into the bathroom. I took off my jeans, tank top and hoodie, leaving me in my bra and underwear. I slip the jersey over my head, fluff up my hair and head back out into the bedroom. My heart is beyond pounding.

Brent sends me with devilish grin as I hike up the jersey and sit on his lap, stealing his lips into a short kiss. He grabs the jersey in his hands as he deepens our once innocent kiss. My hands wander up to his neck, and fishing my fingers through his hair. His hands slide against the hem of the jersey, breaks our kiss, and slides it over my head. I begin to shake. He flips me over and trails kisses all over my neck, collarbone and chest. I take it for what it's worth. It would be the last time for what felt like an eternity.