Sunday, August 29, 2010

chapter fourty-seven ;

After my little moment with Jonny, he got a ride with my dad to go to the game tonight. I wasn't really in the mood to go. My parents would be there. They'd probably kill me if I was within a two foot radius of them.

"I have some news for you. It's good news too." Taylor says.

"What's that?"

"My dad had a billion flyer miles he needed to get rid of, so I'm going to New York to go to Kleinfeld. I still don't have a dress."

"You don't?"

"Nope. Plus. I'm gunna need a maternity one." She groans, pushing her coffee away from her. "You are coming with me."

"I am not. I've already pissed my parents off enough. Buying a wedding dress would throw them over the edge."

"Too bad. I already booked an appointment for you."


"Fine. We better not be missing the Olympics."

"No. We're going next week for two days. No big."

She just smiled and pulled me by the arm. She was taking me to the Hawks game whether I liked it or not. I really needed someone like her around. She always pushed me into things I didn't want to do, but I ALWAYS felt better after doing them. I'd probably be sitting in front of the TV crying, while eating ice cream as I watched the game. We made a quick stop at tim hortons before we headed downtown. Really. I was going dress shopping in a week. I wasn't ready for this.

"I don't even have a budget. HELL, I don't have any money to buy a dress. It's all down the drain with college."

"You think you're paying for this dress? Get real. Brent will pay for it. Plus, your dad likes Brent. I'm sure he'll come around and help pay for it."

"If you say so."

About an hour later, and beating the normal rush hour traffic that was on Burrard street, we made it to the arena. I saw Brent and felt those butterflies attack my stomach, then I remembered the shit he pulled this morning. I moved my face when he went to kiss me.

"Ally, I'm sorry. I just can't stand him wanting you like a lost puppy."

"I know. I can't say I love it anymore than you do. Just don't do it again."

"I'll try my best. Once we get married, maybe he'll finally get the hint."

"Speaking of that. I'm going to new york next week with Taylor. We're going to look at wedding dresses with her parents."

"Wow, already?"

"I'm really serious about this. Without my parent's blessing or not. I'm spending the rest of my life with you."

"That's my girl." He beamed before he cupped the side of my face and feathering his lips over mine.

"We need to talk about money though. There is no way in hell I can afford a wedding dress."

"Relax. I'm paying for it. Oh, and my mom wants to put something towards it too."

I chuckle, "I haven't even met your mom."

"We're meeting her after the game, and my dad."

Ah, Shit.

The boys ended up winning the game 4-2 and brought them closer to first in the Western Conference. I kept away from my parents as much as I could. But of course, my mom hunted me down.

"Why did you lie to us?"

"Did you see your reaction this morning? That's why I didn't want to tell you."

"We'd find out sooner or later you were back with them."

"And I was going to tell you after the Olympics were over. Mom, I love him. Why do you think Jon let me go? He wanted me to be happy."

"He sure didn't look over you this morning."

"That's his problem. He knew all along I wanted Brent. Just like Duncan wants Taylor."

Her bright eyes looked up at me, they were mixed with confusion and disappointment. "That's different though."

"How? Cause they've been together for almost 8 years? That shouldn't matter. When your face lights up when they enter the room, or how you get when you hear their voice. That's what matters. When you love someone, you just know. That's how I am with Brent."

"I guess I have no choice to accept it then." She deeply sighs.

"That's all I want."

My mom pulled me into a hug. I felt a little better knowing that she knew I was with Brent. Too bad she didn't know the half part of it.

Friday, August 20, 2010

chapter fourty-six ;

comments please? I know. I'm stuck in a rut right now. I'm trying my best, I've written down a ton of ideas, I just have to piece them together. It will get better, I promise!

"I'm sorry Jon. You didn't deserve that."

"No, I did."

I sighed, taking the ice cube off his lip and passing him a cold facecloth. This always happened. Someone had to get hurt. Someone had to confuse me. Someone just had to go and mess everything up for me. It never fucking fails.

Duncan and Sharpie took Brent back to Vancouver right after the ceremony. I felt horrible, so I drove Jonny back to my parent's house to nurse him up, then we would drive to Vancouver right after.

"I just want this to stop." I sighed, twisting my fingers around the tassel on my grad cap.

His midnight eyes glanced over at me, causing my throat to tighten up a little bit, "What do you mean?"

"I just want everything to stop. I want to stop my parents from hating Brent. I want to stop another roadblock from keeping me from marrying Brent. I want you to stop loving me."

"You know what? I wish there was someone that would say stop to us when we need it the most. But there's no such thing, Ally. We do this shit to learn from it. No, I can not stop loving you. I wish there was someone who told me to stop when I let you go after your accident. I wish someone told you to stop before you said yes to marry Brent."

"Well what the fuck do you want, Jon!"

"I just want you."

My head shook as tears slowly formed in my eyes, blurring the vision of him in front of me, "That ... can't happen. I swore when you let me go last month, that this was all over."

"Well, I lied. I wanted what was best for you. But it made me miserable at best."

He was making me want to rip my hair out right now. I got off the couch and started to walk towards my room. I could feel him following me. I tried my best to ignore it, but it wasn't working.  I felt him clasp my sides, I started to shake as his forehead pressed gently into mine.

"Jon please ... don't make me choose."

"You shouldn't have to choose. Think about it - your parents love me, they accept our relationship. I never left you like Brent did. I couldn't imagine hurting you like that."

"You've already hurt me more than you know, Jon. That's the problem."

"I don't get it."

"You confuse the hell out of me. You make me second guess the man I love constantly. You're always on my fucking mind. I sometimes see you when I kiss him. You're something different, Jon. I can't put my finger on it. You're so different than you appear."

He suddenly smirks down at me, "Like what?"

"You watch Jersey Shore, you read Harry Potter, you write songs and play guitar, you talk like you're some psychologist half the time. Who the hell are you?"

"You tell me."

"There you go again. Using some metaphorical shit on me, making me think more than I should." I huffed as I heard him chuckle.

"You're too adorable."

"You're pushing your luck, Toe-ez"

This caused both of us to go into a giggle fit for a moment. Finally, a positive feel between the both of us. He pulled me close and tenderly pressed his lips to my forehead. In all honestly. What the hell was I supposed to do?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

chapter fourty-five ;




I sat in front of the mirror at a hair salon, watching the hair dresser curl my hair for me. My eyes were done up with gold eye shadow, false lashes, mascara, alonge pink lip gloss and bronzer.  My hair was finally set into perfect curls. I looked so together. But inside, I was slowly dying.

I hated lying to my mom. She knew nothing about Brent. Here I was, wearing his engagment ring to bed, and hiding it under my pillow in my room during the day. Leaving the house to phone him, lying that I was texting Jonny, but in reality, I was texting Brent. I did miss him. But this time apart was good. Made me realize there will be times when we were apart. It was healthy.

"Ally are you ready?"

I nodded as I zipped up my bright red grad gown. I placed the stupid cap on my head as we headed into the gym. Our two valedictorians stood up and talked about our last 4 years here, and how they would miss it. I rolled my eyes. I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of here.

My heart was beating in my throat as I heard my name get called. I stood up, I felt all their eyes falling on me as I went on the stage. The bright lights were blinding me. Seriously after 4 years of hell, these 30 seconds were the worst of the bunch. I shook my Dean's hand, camera's flashed everywhere as most of the gym clapped. I faked a smile as I glanced into my Dean's eyes before I headed back off the stage ... I swore I saw Brent in the crowd.

"Oh congrats sweetie!" My mom beams and she pulls me into a hug.

"Thanks mom."

"Good job, pookie." My dad says as he squeezes me.

"Thank you daddy. I'm just gunna go find Gina and Christina. They said they were here."

I wondered around and I finally saw them. They congratulated me with open arms. I couldn't believe it was all over. I was done. Brent was going to be here in a matter of 2 weeks. Then we were off to Chicago after the Olympics. Life was amazing right now.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, I was expecting it to be one of my professors or a classmate wanting to say goodbye. I turned around and I let out some unrealistic squeal. It was Brent. I jumped into his arms and he spun me around.

"What are you doing here?"

"Didn't you know we play the Canucks tonight?"

"Uhm, obviously not! I was just so busy with school. Wow. I can't believe you're here." I replied as I kissed his cheek.

"You think I'd miss my fiancee's graduation? Think again!"

"I love you baby."

"I love you too."

He puts me down and gently kisses me again. As I open my eyes, I see Johnny standing beside Brent. I run over and hug him. Brent leaves us alone cause Duncan and Sharpie were all also here, so he went to talk to them, and stay away from my parents as much as possible.

"Congrats Ally, this is quite an accomplishment."

"Coming from a boy who got arrested for partying in college, thank you." I chuckle.

"You'll never let me live that down, will you?"

"Not at all."

Jonny's smile drops as he reaches for my hand. He runs over my ring with the pad of his thumb. He looks diminished. I don't know why. He was the one that let me go.

"I can't believe you two are getting married."

"It's not gunna be for another year or two."

He just nods and lets go of my hand.

"Jon, what is this about?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"It's something. I can tell." I replied with tear-filled eyes. He wasn't budging. He was so fucking frustrating.

"Just drop it!" He snapped.

"Are you kidding me? Jonny, you look like something's killing you right now. What is it?"

He forcefully grabbed me and pressed his warm lips on to mine. A surge went from the tips of my toes to the crown of my skull in that split second. He was thrown off me and a punch was made across his face. I screamed in horror as Jon fell to the ground. Brent's calling him every name under the sun right now. I'm shaking. A crowd forms. He's really done it this time.

"BRENT STOP IT!" I screamed grabbing him off of Jon.

"What the fuck is your problem Tazer? Really? You two aren't together. We are!"

"YOU WHAT?!" My mom shrieked.

I looked over at her as the tears fell down my cheeks, "I'm sorry mom, I tried to tell you."

Just like that ... she wore every inch of disappiontment on her face as she turned around and left the now overpopulated crowd. It was silent. Over 300 people just saw my Fiancee beat up the man I once loved. Well you know what they say, when you got out, you have to go out in style.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

chapter fourty-four ;


I tossed my keys onto the coffee table and threw my coat off. Brent walks over and gives me a puppy look. Something that always makes me smile. I cross my arms and stare up at him. I really did want to spend the rest of my life with him. Even with all the fire flying around, just one look from him, and the spark was put out.

"What's wrong babe?"

"I told them about Jonny. But they think I'm single. I couldn't do it." I gulped back.

"It's okay. After the Olympics, we'll have to tell them, that we're together at least."

I nodded, "You're right. Thanks hun."

"That's what I'm here for." He replied before he pulled me into a hug. Making my frost-bitten cheeks suddenly burn a thousand degrees.

I felt my stomach drop into my stomach, my eyes started to fill with tears. It started off with a little sniffle, then a full out sobbingfest into Brent's t-shirt.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell is this? You're not allowed to cry."

"I can't help it. I want to be with you so badly, and no one wants me to. Plus I'm leaving tomorrow and I won't see you until you come to Vancouver for the Olympics. Which may I add, is a month and a half away."

"It's gunna work out. Just calm down okay." He chuckled as he wiped my tears away.

"Why is it ALWAYS a fucking episode of The Hills around here?"

I heard a thick Swedish accent behind me. I turned around and saw Nicklas Hjalmarson. My eyes are filled with questioning looks, my mouth was lying open. Why was he here?

"What is he doing here?"

"Uhm. Yeah. About him ..." This time, it was Christina who spoke up.

"I am so fucking lost right now."

"Let me spell it out for you. While you were so wrapped up in lying to your parents. I took your best friend out for breakfast and made her my girlfriend."

"Wow Nick, you're so kind with your words." I replied. "But really, hurt her, and I'll kill you."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I headed into the bedroom and began to pack all my stuff. I was trying my best not to cry. I hated leaving him. I slowly stuffed all my hoodies into the suitcase. I ended up plunking down onto the bed, grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it.

"Ally, are you okay?"

"Fuck everything right now. Seriously."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad." Christina laughed throwing one of my tank tops into my suitcase.

"You're one to talk. I didn't know you had a thing for Nick."

She began to blush at the sound of his name, "Yeah. I did. I met him last night. He's a sweetheart. He wants us to be together."

"Well, I say go for it. He's a sweetheart."

She hugs me, and leaves me alone to pack the rest of my stuff. I still feel empty as I notice all my clothes are off the hangers and packed away. I pick out my outfit for tomorrow, a simple pair of black yoga pants, white tank top and a red hawks hoodie.

"How the hell am I gunna pack all three of these Jersey's?" I mumbled.

"You could take one with you and leave two here. Or leave all of them." Brent shrugged.

"I'm not leaving all of them here. I plan to sleep in one every night. It's like a little part of you with me when I sleep."

"You still need to give me a private showing of these jerseys, you know ..."

"I don't think I know what you're talking about Mr. Seabrook." I giggled.

"Come on. Christina and Nick left with Gina. No one's here."


I grabbed his home jersey and went into the bathroom. I took off my jeans, tank top and hoodie, leaving me in my bra and underwear. I slip the jersey over my head, fluff up my hair and head back out into the bedroom. My heart is beyond pounding.

Brent sends me with devilish grin as I hike up the jersey and sit on his lap, stealing his lips into a short kiss. He grabs the jersey in his hands as he deepens our once innocent kiss. My hands wander up to his neck, and fishing my fingers through his hair. His hands slide against the hem of the jersey, breaks our kiss, and slides it over my head. I begin to shake. He flips me over and trails kisses all over my neck, collarbone and chest. I take it for what it's worth. It would be the last time for what felt like an eternity.

Monday, August 9, 2010

chapter fourty-three ;

 Shout your name out to the wind
confess my love for you, again;

When I headed over to Duncan's house the next morning, I wasn't sure how I was going to react to seeing my parents. Hell, I didn't know how they were going to react when they saw me. Cause a) I'm not with Jon, I'm engaged to Brent, the man they hate and b) I've been in a car wreck.

"I'm just relieved you're okay. We tried to get time off sooner, but we couldn't"

"Don't worry about it, mom. I was okay. I had the boys, I had my brother. I was okay."

My mom looked over at me with her bright baby blue eyes, like she was reading me. Or, it was like, she knew something else was wrong. Who was I kidding. She was my mom. Mom's always know when something's wrong. I knew I had to tell her. I was wearing my guilt like a second skin.

"Your hair looks fantastic by the way." My mom says after she takes a sip of her coffee. "You were starting to look like some, prostitute."

"MOM!" I gasped.

"Oh come on, you know I've never been a fan of long hair. Well, on you at least. You look more like a woman now. I'm sure Jon will think the same."



She needed to know.

"Mom, I need to tell you something."

There was that look. The look of disappointment from her.  "What?"

"Jon and I  ... decided to remain friends." I started, not taking my eyes off the table. "I still love him, and he loves me, but, we thought we were better off as friends. It's complicated, but we through it might ruin our friendship. It's not what we wanted. At least not right now."

"Aw, I'm sorry sweetie. Maybe one day you'll get it right with him. Just as long as you don't take that Brent boy back. He literally sucked the life out of you."

I shifted in my seat, slowly sliding my engagement ring off my finger from underneath the table and stuffing it into my hoodie pocket. Taylor, Duncan and I all shot each other looks. They clearly both knew what was really going on. I was constantly screaming in my head, hoping they didn't say anything. Just one little thing could send my mom off the edge.

We engaged in a conversation about my final 3 weeks of school. It caused my heart to drop. I left in two days to go home to finish school. Three weeks without Brent. I don't know if I could survive. His every word was like a shooting star to me. Something that kept me alive in my darkest hours.

"So, you're still going to move to Chicago after graduation?" My dad asked.

"Yeah, that's the plan."

"Where are you going to be staying?"

"Well, I'm going to be living with Bren --" Fuck.

My face flushed, but big brother came to rescue. "Actually, mom. Ally is gunna stay with us until Gina and Christina come down here in the summer. Did you know they were moving down here after they graduate in June?"

"No, I had no idea. That's good. You'll have you friends down here." She said. I don't think it was really what she wanted to hear. She only wanted me with Jon. No one else.

My dad was more understanding. He pulled me into a side hug. "Well good. It's nice to know you have a bright future. When do you start working for the team?"

"March." I beam. I couldn't believe I was going to work for the team. Brent and I would be together all the time. Part of me thought that wasn't a good idea. Part of me believed it was the the right thing. Neither of us couldn't stand to be away from each other. I can't keep this a secret much longer. It was killing me.

Once my mom knows the truth. I know I'm screwed. For the rest of my life.

Friday, August 6, 2010

I braced myself for the goodbye, 
cause that's all I've ever known 
then, you took me by surprise
when you said, "I'll never leave you alone."
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

chapter fourty-two ;

Take me, show me the corners of your empty room, the trouble we could get into, just fake it for me, disregard the footsteps and we'll never tell a soul. Like a weightless currency, your words don't mean shit to me. Tonight I'm finding a way to make the things that you say, just a little less obvious. You've got me fucked up and so, you talk like you're famous, you're shameless

The sound of Metric blasted through the speakers in the living room as I lied on the floor, blowing bubbles with my gum and reading a Bridal Today magazine. I know, I'm looking at wedding dresses already. It may be a huge no-no, but, I was doing it anyways.

"I need a change." I groaned.

Gina and Christina flew into Chicago for the rest of their Christmas break since they're still going to school in Vancouver. They were a little shocked about the news about me being engaged to Brent so soon after Jon left me. I don't know. Everytime I think of it, I get nauseous. I felt like I was disappointing everyone.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I look boring." I sigh as I put my long hair into a pony tail. "I'll phone Diana - Hossa's fiance, maybe she can come over and dye my hair for me. She's a hairstylist after all."

I phoned her up and she had an opening to let me go see her in 20 minutes to get my hair done. Before we headed out, I went to use the bathroom. As I was washing my hands, I stared at the long wild length of my hair. It was down to my elbows, and was a mess. I never took a second thought - cause I grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer and chopped it off.

I slid my hair out of the ponytail, and shook it. It now hit just below my shoulders by an inch or two. I loved it. I tossed my hair into the garbage quickly and left the room. I grabbed my purse and headed back into the living room.

"So, you guys ready to go?"

They both turned around and Gina shrieked, "ALLY, WHAT THE HELL?"

"What? I like it."

"You're insane." Christina added.

"I know that much is true."

I found myself looking at my reflection as I waited for Diana to walk back over to me with the mixed up hair dye. Light brown with blonde highlights. That's what I wanted.

And that's what I got.

She ended up fixing my lopsided hair cut and layered it for me, also giving me sideswept bangs. The finish product was amazing. I looked like a new person.

"Brent's not going to be able to take his eyes or hands off of you. You look amazing." Diana said after I paid her.

"I hope so. I really like it. Thank you."

We said our goodbyes and I walked over to the Nordstrom that Gina and Christina went into. Before I went to find them, I found myself in the clothing section, staring at a black cropped leather jacket. I grabbed my size, and picked up a black and white striped V-neck T-shirt to go with it. What was wrong with me? What was making me change myself?


They loved my hair after all. I had to admit, I felt like a new person. Like all the baggage I had with Brent before, and Jon was gone. Sounds a little unrealistic calling my haircut a drama remover, but it's true.

We left the store and headed back over to Brent's place to change. The hawks had a game against the Red Wings tonight and we were lucky enough to get seats together for the game at such short notice.

I tore open my bag and put on the shirt, the jacket, and matched them off with a pair of black leggings and my grey uggs. I applied a thicker layer of eyeliner to my eyes, changed my nose stud, and fluffed up my hair a little before we left.

"Brent is not gunna recognize you at all." Christina said after the game. The boys won in a shootout, thanks to Sharpie, Bolland and Kaner.

"That's the plan."

The girls went into the dressing room as I got a call from my parents. Saying they were coming into town tomorrow. Well, that's just great. I had my back to the dressing room as I shoved my phone into my purse.

"Can I help you?"

I smirked again, it was Brent's voice. I slowly turned around as I watched his jaw drop to the ground and his eyes wondered aimlessly.

"Hey baby!"

"How, when ... jesus fucking christ." was all he spat out.

I giggled as he pressed me against the wall and kissed me. His hands gripped onto my sides and I tugged on his tie.

"You look ... fucking amazing. As if you couldn't get more beautiful. You prove me wrong." He says as he pulls away from my lips. I stare into his comet-like eyes as he brushes my hair from my face. "I can't wait to make you my wife."

Before I could respond, Sharp, Eager, Burish, Steeger and Jonny walked out of the room.

"BRENT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ALLY IS GOING TO KILL ... holy shit, Ally?" Patrick gasped.

"That's what they call me."

"Dear god, she's hot." Eager commented, making me roll my eyes.

"Ally, you look incredible." Jon quietly said. I felt my face burn up and I stuttered a thank you to him.

"Look, I'm gunna go and see my brother. I won't be long." I say as I head into the dressing room.

*Brent's POV*

"Brent, she looks ... I don't even know. Like a model or something." Burish commented.

I shook my head. I was wondering if it was a dream. The girl I once knew had long brown wavy hair, now she had cropped light brown hair. I know women change their hair, but dear god, that was a bit drastic. Even though, she looked really hot, and I couldn't wait to have her later - it was gunna take a while to get used to.

"Dude, I don't mean to be a bother, but I remember hearing that when woman change their hair drastically it means their going through a hard time in their life. Is everything okay?" Patrick said.

"I don't know. But I'm going to find out."