You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time, but I never thought I'd live to see it break. It's getting dark, and it's all too quiet, and I can't trust anything now, and it's coming over you, like it's all a big mistake. I'm holding my breath, I won't lose you again. Something's made your eyes go cold. Come on, don't leave me like this, thought I had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong, you're all I wanted. Can't turn back now I'm haunted. I just know, you're not gone ... you can't be gone
About a couple weeks had flown by and I was working for the team. I had to admit, it wasn't easy seeing Brent almost everyday. It was hard. I felt haunted everytime our eyes would accidentally lock. But I had a job to do. I had to get over it. He was over it. It's done. Next chapter.
My friend Stephanie ended up getting into Columbia for college and we were lucky enough to get ourselves a condo downtown Chicago. It wasn't far from the Arena, or her school, and it wasn't far from Jonny either.
Ah, Jonny. About him.
Jon and I were taking things really slow this time. He knew I was hurt, and I didn't want him thinking I was jumping to him cause Brent left me again. He gave me space. I really needed time alone for once. Give myself some time to breathe properly. Focus on work and get myself back to normal.
Me? Normal? Like that will ever happen.
It was now the middle of March and the hawks we're on a roadtrip. We were heading to Anaheim, LA and Phoenix. This would be my first big challenge as a medic. I wasn't supposed to go on this trip, but one of the other medic's fell sick, so I was next in line.
During the game against Anaheim, there was a nasty play. Something I'd never wish on anyone. James Wiznewski committed about 5 different penalties on a hawk player. Charging, roughing, boarding, interference, unsportsmanlike conduct. I couldn't see who it was just yet. But when I heard someone yell to the bench, I felt like I was gunna be sick.
It was Brent.
I saw him lying lifelessly on the ice. My stomach fell deeper and I just wanted to pass out. I blinked back my tears as I watched the other medics go over and help him. They wouldn't let me go out there. I had to get held back by Sharp as I tried to get on the ice.
"Why, can't I go out there? WHY AREN'T YOU LETTING ME OUT THERE?"
"Ally, stop. They're the professionals."
"And what? I'm not?"
"Just calm down. He'll be okay."
"But what if he isn't?" I whispered.
"He will. They'll bring him back over to the bench, okay?"
I just nodded and went down the runway into the dressing room to get myself back together. The tears wouldn't stop falling. What if he had a concussion? Was he gunna be okay? Why was I so worried?
I wiped my face and walked back out onto the bench. He was sitting at the end getting looked at. I breathed a sigh of relief as I slowly walked over towards him.
"Hey." I lightly said touching his shoulder with the full knowledge that he didn't feel it under his pads. He turned around slowly and his eyes looked glossy.
"Hey," It was a short response, his guard was up, and I knew why.
"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
"I could use some aspirin or something."
I opened up my pouch and fished out two tablets and passed them to him. My fingers gently grazed the palm of his hand, and I felt sparks. I tried my best to ignore it and focus on the game.
"I think you should stay out for the rest of the game."
"Are you kidding me? You aren't fine."
"Stop pushing me around."
"Oh, that's nice. I don't want you fainting and falling again."
"Why do you care? You have Jon."
"No I don't. I'm single, I'll have you know. Plus it's my job to make sure everyone is healthy to play."
"You're gunna have to get used to seeing me around here."
"Doesn't mean I have to like it."
"Why are you being like this?!" I snapped.
"Cause you ran into the arms of your trophy boy the second you saw me with that girl."
"Oh, so now I'm in the wrong?"
"Would you shut up? I'm partly concussed here!"
"Says the boy that wants to go out there and play again."
"By the fucking way, that girl was a friend from highschool. I never told her about you cause it never came up. I didn't know she liked me like that until you came over and acted like you were some fucking musical."
"Am I supposed to believe you?"
"I don't know. Should you?"
This fight wasn't going anywhere. I cursed to the rafters. Is this how it was gunna be everytime we saw each other. Cause if it was. I want out. I want to go to another city. I can't live like this.