On the edge of something real. I have a choice, but I don't know what to feel. Getting tired of all this fear. Before I choose, let me know that you'll be here. Cause I'm not afraid to fall if you're the one who catches me. Tell me that you'll be there when I'm about to lose it all. Cause you're the one who helps me see that sometimes it's okay to fall.
It was 5 am on the day that Taylor and I were heading to New York. I couldn't sleep. I felt nervous. I felt like a terrible daughter cause my parent's didn't know the real reason why I was going. I sat on the porch as I drank a coffee, looking out onto the lake. The lake where Brent first kissed me.
I heard the french patio door open and close. I looked up, it was my dad. He smiled at me as he sat down with his own cup of coffee. We were silent for a while, but the truth was bugging me. I couldn't hold it in much longer.
"Dad, how do you really feel about Brent?"
"He's a great guy, makes the biggest jackass moves I've ever seen in my life. I guess we all do. He's a great kid, hard work ethic, he seems to treat you right. Well, now he does."
I grew uncomfortable. "Dad, I don't need to be reminded of him leaving me. It haunts him enough at is. It haunts us all."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's just, you're my little girl and I want you to have your happily ever after. You deserve it."
I nodded as I bit back my smile, "So can I tell you something, and you can not tell Mom, okay?"
"You know I keep all your secrets. What is it this time?"
"Well, you know how I got in that accident? It's cause I was confused after I left Brent's house. I was still with Jonny at the time, but it didn't feel right. Brent kissed me with this fire I never felt before. Jon let me go the next morning after my accident, and Brent was there for me until I got released from the hospital on Christmas Eve. Brent gave me the greatest gift I could've ever asked for on Christmas."
"What was that?" he asked as he bewilderingly looked at me.
"He ... uhm ... proposed to me."
There was a thick silence in the air for a moment. It bothered me, but I did feel better knowing he knew the truth. He was more understanding than my mother was ... by a fucking long shot. I knew if that was her sitting in that chair, she would've pounced off of it, killed me, than ran off to plot Brent's death.
"I think that's ... great!"
My eyes widened, "Really?"
"Yes! Both my kids are getting married. Is that why you're going to New York?"
I nodded as I stared to smile like an idiot, "It was all Taylor's doing, but Brent and I are serious. We were going to wait a few years before we got married, but .. you know how him and Dunc are. How close they are with each other."
"So it's a double wedding?"
I nod, "If I knew any better, I'm sure Brent would turn around and marry Duncan instead."
My dad began to chuckle, and so did I. I couldn't get over how well he took it. We said our goodbyes and Taylor came and picked me up. After a 6 hour flight from hell, we were in New York. I didn't even have to time to admire the city, cause as soon as we were off the plane, we went right to Kleinfeld.
I turned around and I saw a smaller women in her mid 50's standing near me. "Yes?"
"Hi. I'm Linda. I'll be your consultant today."
"Hi, nice to meet you."
We shook hands as we walked through the halls where all the dressing rooms were. I brought my Macbook with me so I could go on Skype and show my Dad all the dresses since he couldn't be here. Oh, and Dunc wanted to see which one I picked too.
"So tell me about your fiancee."
"Well, his name is Brent Seabrook, he's a professional hockey player. He's 25, and he's everything to me. We've had our ups and downs, but we're finally at a place where we know what we want. Sorry, I'm rambling." I blushed as I bit my lip.
"It's okay. So, how long have you to been together?"
"We were together for a month in the summer, then we split up, then we got back together two months ago."
She raised her eyebrow, "You've only been together 3 months?"
"It's a long story. He's my brother's best friend."
"Wow. When are you getting married?"
"This is quite a commitment to make when you've hardly been together."
"Yeah, but --"
"No, I'm sure you two are fine. Now what kind of dress are you looking for?"
I couldn't even make a sentence. I didn't know if I wanted to cool my jets, and rip her fucking head off. It shouldn't matter how long we've been together. I want him, always. This bond means forever, and that's what both of us want. Do you think we would've went through all this shit for no reason? No. When you go from being madly in love, to spilling secrets, to falling into a deep depression, to almost dying, to being happily engaged. I'm sure that means that you were meant to be together. This marriage meant starting over and forgetting everything. Forgetting my mistakes, forgetting Helen, and most of all ... forgetting Jonny.
"Uhm. I want strapless, cinderella style, with a jeweled corset, and I'm in love with that feather kind of bottom. Perferably Vera Wang."
"Okay, so what's your budget?"
"I don't know. Brent, and his mom, and my dad are paying for it."
She fake smiles at me as she sugar coats her words. Honey, you've got 'I work on commission here, so I'm just going to lie about everything' tatooed on your head. She grabs the pictures I printed out and stands up, getting ready to leave the dressing room before she looks over at me.
"I'm surprised both of your parents approve of this on such short commitment for you guys. That's great!"
I sit back in my chair and hit my head on the wall. Shit. When she puts it like that, it does feel rushed. What if Brent and I had another fall out after we married? It will be a bigger mess then. We would get through it like we did now? Wait, was she making me second guess myself?