A week after I found out the news I would be going to Toronto, I finally found out I was leaving today. Steph wasn't too happy about it, but our friend Gina was transferring down to Depaul and would be here at the end of the term. So at least I wasn't leaving Steph in the dark.
But was I ever happy to get out of here.
I got out of the shower and threw on a pair of jeans, a white tank top and a grey cardigan over it. I left my hair naturally wavy and my make up was hardly there. I wheeled out my suitcase into the living room and sat on the couch. Waiting for Brent to pick me up.
"Are you sure sure this is what you want?" Steph asked.
"Like you wouldn't believe. Steph, I might have a better chance with this team than I did with the hawks."
"You're right. You're doing this for you. It's probably worth it."
"I hope so."
After a while longer of waiting, Brent finally came to the door. He didn't look the least bit interested in what was going on. His sad expression grew worse the closer we got to the airport. I could feel my stomach dropping with every second that passed.
Everything was quiet. The car ride, our conversation wasn't there. I tried to grab his hand but he pulled away. I ignored his reflex and watched the Chicago skyline fade faster into the rear view mirror.
"You know, you're not exactly being supportive of me right now." I snapped as he parked the car.
"What are you talking about? I'm taking you to the airport, aren't I?"
"Yeah, but you won't even talk to me."
"Sorry. I'm just a little annoyed."
I rolled my eyes, "Brent. It's for a month. Plus, you wouldn't have cared if you didn't apologize to me the other night."
"What makes you think that?"
"Cause you wouldn't have to deal with saying goodbye to me like this." I whispered.
He sighed deeply and gently grabbed my hand, "I'm sorry, okay? I just got you back and I'm losing you again. It's made me think a lot."
"If you're gone for this month. Maybe we should wait till you're back before we get back together."
I deeply swallowed a lump in my throat and looked into his bright eyes, "I don't get it."
"I'm just saying, if you meet someone while you're there ..."
"Why, are you going to find some one night stand while I'm gone?"
"No. Goddammit Ally, why are you making this worse than I wanted it to be? I just wanted you to have some fucking peace while you're up there in case you meet someone you really like. Someone better than me."
"But you said you wanted to give me something to believe in. I believed your every word."
He sighed again, "Maybe me giving you something to believe in, is to believe there is someone out there that's better for you. I've treated you like nothing, you deserve better."
"Just, be quiet. It's not gunna change what I think."
"Fine. We're not together then." I replied as I rolled my eyes. I don't understand this guy. I just don't.
"Ally. I'm just trying to protect your feelings."
"Fine. Can you get my case for me? I'm gunna be late."
He smirked gently and nudged the side of my face, "Of course."
We walked up to the airport, and it was crazy. Thousands of faces blurred past me as I checked in. I could feel my heart twisting as soon as the girl took my suitcase. All I had left was my purse. It really was time to leave.
Actually leaving though, was hard. I stood in front of Brent, in denial that my flight was called for me to check into security. The tears were building up inside of me and I tried not to let them fall. But I knew I had to go. I had to let him go.
"Ally, it's a month like you said. It won't be long."
But what he didn't know, it could be more than a month.
"I know. I'm just terrified."
"You'll do great up there."
"Thank you. I'll call you when I land."
"I'd love that." He smiles at me.
He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug. My breath is shaky but the tears won't fall. My eyes were almost dry. Maybe this wasn't gunna hurt as much as I thought.