What would you say if I asked you not to go? To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me? Would you take my hand and never let me go? Promise me you'll never let me go. I feel like I lost everything when you're gone, left remembering what it's like to have you here with me. I thought you should know, you're not making this easy. I never thought I'd be the one to say, please don't, please don't leave me ....
Three full weeks had flown by since Steph and I were in Toronto. It's been really fun, and exactly what I needed. We did lots of shopping, clubbing, and just being around the city. Getting away from both of our drama filled lives. It felt like the drama in Kelowna stayed there. It didn't follow us at all. Though I missed Jon, a lot ..
We texted each other, talked on the phone, had skype sessions to talk about everything, and I got to see his face, even if it was over the computer. He went back to Winnipeg to see his family, but said he'll be back in Kelowna after the Team Canada camp. Which was a good thing, I suppose.
"What do you want to do today?"
I looked up from my laptop at Steph. I shrugged. It seems like we've done everything that was possible. We were here for another week. The boys were in Calgary already from what Jon told me. I wonder how things were with him and Brent. They haven't talked since I left.
I rubbed my face and sighed, "I really duuno dude. I still feel drunk from two nights ago."
"Same here. We should just chill here tonight. Rent some movies?" She suggested.
"Sounds like a good idea."
We made a list of movies we wanted to rent and a grocery list on top of it. Steph went for a run first though, cause Jon wanted to have a skype session with me. I sighed and logged on. I quickly checked my facebook back as I got an invitation from Jon. I accepted it and my heart jumped into my throat when I opened up the window.
I went to grab the lid of my laptop and close it, but I heard his voice. It brought to tears to my eyes.
"Ally, don't ... please talk to me."
A tear slid down my face as I drew in a shaky breath. I couldn't do it. I shut my laptop and walked away from the table. My heart thundering inside of my chest, the tears were pouring out of me. Seeing his face made it worse, when my heart was set on Jon. Maybe I just believed I was set on Jon. I slid down the wall, my face was buried into my hands that were suddenly tear soaked. Then in the distance my phone rang, funny, the ringtone was perfect ..
This night's a perfect shade of dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you?
I said the world could be burning down, dark blue.
If you've ever been alone in the dark blue?
If you've ever been alone you'll know
I got up off the floor and went to retrieve my phone. The caller ID read his number. I hesitated for a moment, and with a shaky hand, I brought it up to my ear.
"Are you gunna hang up on me?"
"I thought about it."
I heard him snicker "You haven't changed."
"What do you want?"
"Can you please talk to me?"
"What's there to say?" I sighed deeper.
"Ally, I love you. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I made a mistake I never should've made. Please, take me back. I've been kicking myself since you've been gone. I don't know what to do anymore .. "
I covered my mouth with my hand as I quietly sobbed. Hoping he wouldn't hear me. My hair began to stick to me as my tears rolled down my neck, getting absorbed into my hair. How could I be so stupid? The more I wanted to hate him, the more it made me love him with everything I had. After everything, I had to admit it, I fucking need him to the point it hurt.
"I'm coming out to see you."
"I'm getting on the next flight to Calgary. I need to see you."
"But .. what about Steph?"
"She'll understand. I fucking need you. I can't even breathe properly without you around." I was slurring my speech to keep my sobs from pouring out again. I was a complete train wreck but I didn't fucking care.
"I feel the same way. Ally, I am so sorry."
"Don't be. I'm sorry for being so stupid."
"Okay, just, phone me when you find out your flight."
A huge breath of relief came out of me, and a smile was tugging on my lips. "I will. I love you."
I could literally hear the smile in his voice. "I love you too."
I hung up my phone, opened up my computer, printed out tickets to the next flight, which left in an hour. I scrambled to get my clothes into my suitcase, just enough for a few days, and not even making it look neat in the least bit. Everything was packed, the cab was set to pick me up in 5 minutes. I texted Brent quickly to give him my flight details, and he said he'd be there. I ripped out a piece of paper from my sketch book and wrote Steph a letter.
"Steph, I made up my mind. It's Brent. It always has been him. I'm sorry for this quick decision, but I'm leaving for Calgary. I'll be back in a couple days, so we can fly home together. Thank you for supporting me in this decision, this has been one of the best months of my life and I owe it all to you. I love you and I'll phone you tonight. I promise. Don't get into too much trouble without me now. -- lovelovelove, Ally"