chapter twenty-nine ;

He's got me thinking I'm not good for anything. Look at this mess we've made with only ourselves to blame. I know all about your midnight mistakes. but I play dumb
because it's the truth I can't face. Come on just stop. I'm so sick of fighting. I look fine now but inside im just dying. Just let this go. I can't let go

Brent stared at me. His bright green eyes were like daggers as he continued to stare me down. I wonder how the news got to him so fast. I cross my arms and stare right back at him. Pick your poison, buddy.

He doesn't say a word to me. The silence was killing me. Burish and Sharp come out of the dressing room, patting me on the back for kicking her ass. Making Brent's blood boil even more than it already was. To be honest, it gave me some wicked satisfaction. After the two dumbasses leave, I give up and start to walk down the hall. But I could feel him following me.

"What the fuck was that all about?"

"Your girlfriend's a huge bitch, Seabrook. She had it coming."

He runs his hands through his hair, letting out a deep sigh, "Why? Why did you have to come down here?"

"That doesn't concern you, buddy!"

"Yes it does! And don't 'buddy' me!"

"Fine then, Pal! And for your information IT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU" I yell back.

He slightly turns away from me, not even looking at me this time, "It doesn't help me control my feelings for you," he says in a light whisper. I hardly heard it.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

Tears began to fill my eyes and I step closer to him. "Yes you did! What was is it?"

"You shouldn't have come down here, Ally. I know it would blow up and Helen would be all over it."

"What? I have to avoid Chicago forever now? What if Jon and I get more serious?"

"He doesn't love you" He said, catching my surprise.

"Who the fuck told you that?"

"He could never love you, Ally." He pipes back, "Not like I still do."

Wow. He said it. He told me he loved me. But, I think it was time I walked away from this. He watches me fall when I need him the most. He walks out when we fight. He doesn't know how to control a relationship. Which was quite pathetic considering how much of an amazing person he can be. I needed to stop this ache. I could never love him again. Never.

"Brent. I can't do this. You've caused me the most suffering I've ever been through. You can't just walk back into my life and think everything is going to be fine. Cause it won't. Not this time."

"Do you still love me?"

"I can't answer that right now."

Then, his hand was suddenly brushing my bangs from my face, causing me to shiver. It causes my memory to start flooding back to our summer. The midnight swims, the late night phone calls, the kisses, the flowers, the laughter, the smiles, just all of it. Somehow, my mind was stuck back in July cause I didn't budge when he crashed his lips into mine. It took me back to when the ferris wheel got stuck at the pier carnival and we were at the top. He made me laugh till it hurt to make the time pass, and I can still see the sunset in his eyes. To this day. I can still see it.

No, I had Jon. He made that hole in my chest go away. He was the one that stood with me on my rainiest days, put up with my bitch attitude towards people, and made me shake in the best way possible. I loved him more than I loved Brent.

Half of my heart knew that was true.

I push him off me, the tears wouldn't stop falling down my face. I call him every name under the sun and slap him yet again across the face. I needed closure from him, Not this shit. Not again.

I found Taylor in the lobby and she took me back to Jon's place without a single word. I did confess everything to her on the way over, and she just wanted to kill Brent as much as I did. As I get into the apartment, I can feel the tears collapsing in my chest again. I phoned Gina and told her everything. She said she was lucky she wasn't down there, cause he'd be dead. I hung up, kept a tight grip on the rail as the bitter wind hit my face. Chicago was beautiful at night, like a million multi-coloured little stars out there.

I close the porch door and hit the shower first, rubbing off the stained mascara off my cheeks, and letting the hot water fall over me. I slip on a pair of sweatpants and a Team Canada T-shirt and head out into the living room.

Every moment was taking forever to fall past me. I kept watching the second hand on the clock, like an aching bruise it was constantly draining to feel it pulsing through me. Jon, where are you?

Then the door clicks open and I spring to my feet like a magnetic reaction. Jon's eyes are glazed with relief, and a hint of concern as I stood in front of him.

"Sorry, Taylor, drove me home."

He rubs my arm gently, "It's okay. I heard what happened."

I lower my head, "Oh, about that .."

"Don't worry about it. Someone had to do it. I'm glad it was you."

I can't even enjoy his humour right now. I weakly smile at him and head over to the couch, bringing my knees up to my chin. Again, I am drowned in silence. I can see Brent's face in my mind, my lips were still tingling from earlier. Jon's arm wraps around me and I crash into his chest.

"Jon, I need to talk to you."

"Okay."

"Don't get mad, please?" I pleaded.

"I won't. What happened?"

"Well, Brent confronted me after the game. We started fighting and, he said you didn't love me ..."

He clenches his fist and furiously shakes his head. "That fucking douchebag! That is not true, Ally. I love you, a lot."

"That's what I told him, but he went on claiming you didn't love me ... like he still does," I muttered, looking at my trembling hands, "and he ... kissed me."

Before I could say another word, Jon jumps off the couch. In one swift motion, he picks up his keys, throws his shoes on and slams the door.

What have I done this time?